The Inevitable: Chapter 1: Part 6

by Vireyda.

Sephiroth awoke with a start when something brushed across his face. He had almost shoved his perceived attacker off of his body before he realized who it was. Cloud's head laid over Sephiroth's shoulder. An arm was wrapped around his waist and a leg laid over his groin. The younger man had hardly moved a muscle since they had fallen asleep together.

Cloud moved his head again and a spike of blonde hair tickled Sephiroth's nose. The man breathed in deeply the scent of the lock. He sighed and looked out the window. The morning sun was just starting to peak out over the horizon. They still had a couple of hours before their mission to the reactor.

Sephiroth looked back down at the man he had declared his love to. He moved his hand to caress the small innocent face resting on his shoulder. Cloud frowned under the touch. Sephiroth grinned. Slowly, he slipped out from underneath the younger man. When his feet were planted on the ground, he released the breath he had been holding in.

Nearly tripping when he started walking, he couldn't help but notice his armor and coat laying neglectfully forgotten on the floor. Instantaneous panic forced a grimace onto his face. A SOLDIER never treated their armor so carelessly. With an indoctrinated phobia reprimanding him for not being perfect, he fell to his knees and picked up the articles, carefully straightening and arranging them in the proper order. He wondered how years of training could be forgotten so easily.

Unable to find a reason in himself, he turned his head around to see if he could find one in the younger man lying on the bed. His heart quickly found the reason that discipline and indoctrinated beliefs tried desperately to hide.

He loved the man. There was no longer any doubt in his mind. Without another thought to SOLDIER, Hojo, or Shinra, he dropped the clothing back onto the floor, stood up, and sat on the chair next to the bed. The chair creaked under his weight but the noise wasn't enough to wake up Cloud.

Under a careful eye, Sephiroth watched the sleeping man. The urge, to crawl back into the bed and take the younger man into his arms, played with his mind. In the end, he decided not to risk waking him. Cloud needed all the rest he could get.

Sephiroth plucked a thick lock of silver hair from his long mane and began to braid the length.

~~~~~~

Cloud slowly opened his eyes. It took him a moment to remember where he was. Then his eyes noticed movement in front of his face. The seconds it took his eyes to focus were worth the wait. What he saw almost made him laugh out loud.

Sephiroth's normally flowing hair was ridden with numerous braids. He counted more than ten from the side he was on. The man must have been up for at least an hour or two to have completed so many.

"Sephy you're so. . ." Sephiroth jerked his head toward Cloud at the sound of his voice. The man's eyes were wide from shock. ". . .beautiful."

Cloud had to blink to be sure he was seeing what he thought he was seeing. Sure enough, a crimson blush colored the man's cheeks, making his silver hair seem ghostly pale. Sephiroth swung his head to look in the opposite direction again, retreating from Cloud's smiling eyes. Quick fingers skillfully labored to undo hours of work.

"Sephiroth. . ."

Sephiroth turned his head back toward Cloud. The younger man noticed the man's bloodshot eyes and sad look that distorted his angelic features.

"Sephy, are you okay?"

Sephiroth immediately schooled his expression upon hearing the question. He blurted out a little too forcefully, "yes, of course. Why do you ask?"

Cloud frowned. What was Sephiroth hiding from him? He thought about asking directly but knew from a year of dealing with a stone wall that he'd never get a straight answer out of him. The trooper knew he had to take a less direct approach if he wanted any answers out of the General.

"Are you ready for the mission today?"

Sephiroth gave him the 'What kind of absurd question is that?' look. "Of course."

‘Okay, that obviously isn't it and, yes, it was a silly question to ask,' Cloud thought as he propped himself up on his elbow. The General had been on more missions than Cloud could count, which was just considering the ones Cloud knew about since he had first arrived at the academy to join SOLDIER. Sephiroth had even fought in the great war. Why would this simple mission scare him? The only other thing he could think of was:

"Are you scared of me?"

Eyes narrowing, Sephiroth yanked particularly hard on a braid, snarling it into a knot. "Cloud," he hissed.

"No, I know. You're not scared of anything, right?"

Sephiroth closed his eyes as the muscles in his face, his entire body, tightened. "I'm. . ."

"Yes?"

Sephiroth's eyes snapped back open. "Don't patronize me."

"You're avoiding the question."

Finally working the knot out, the man continued unweaving the braid. Cloud found himself mesmerized with the ultra-quick movement. No normal man could move that quickly.

The effort taken, to open his mouth and release his thoughts, was clearly visible on the older man's face, "Cloud, I'm. . . I am scared. . . I'm terrified of losing you. . . I just feel like. . ." Sephiroth darted his eyes away to look out the window. "I should not be saying this to you."

"Sephiroth. . ." Cloud breathed. The man put up his walls as quickly as Cloud took them down. Throwing off the covers, Cloud jumped off the bed to stand in front of the General. The older man ignored his advance. Cloud wedged himself in between the man's legs and wrapped his arms around the tense body. "I'll always be here. I'll always be with you."

His attention grabbed, Sephiroth looked up into Cloud's face. Then he collapsed into Cloud's chest and wrapped his long arms around the younger man's waist. The man's body shuddered slightly with bridled tension. Sephiroth started shaking his head, clearly not believing a word Cloud had told him.

Cloud tried again, "I love you so much! I'll never leave you Sephiroth. Never." The heated words broke though the last barricade on the trooper's emotions. Hot tears rolled down his cheeks. He broke down with a sob, resting his cheek on the top of Sephiroth's head, when he felt wetness on his shirt from Sephiroth's own tears.

A solid military style knock sounded at the door. "General Sephiroth, may we come in?"

Cloud stumbled backward as Sephiroth pulled away. The General frantically wiped at the tears glistening on his pale skin. Cloud watched panic fight with the older man's usual impassive expression. Sephiroth was having a hard time controlling himself, he realized. Maybe they truly were driving each other mad. The General had to get himself together for this mission or it would be over before it started.

Cloud backed away, giving the man space to recompose himself. He noticed the wetness on his own cheeks. He quickly wiped the tears away with the backs of his hands as Sephiroth spoke.

"Come in."

There was a slight hesitation, then Zack opened the door and entered the Inn's bedroom, followed by the other trooper. "Sir, our Guide says she's ready to take us to the reactor. Will Strife be joining us?"

Shifting his weight side to side on his feet, Cloud found himself embarrassed under the black-haired man's scrutiny. He could imagine what was going through the man's head. Zack did the smart thing and didn't say a single word.

"Yes, he will be. Allow me to put my armor back on and we'll head out at once." Sephiroth bent over, picking up his clothing, stood up from the chair, and marched toward the door. He didn't spare a glance toward Cloud. Indoctrinated control was the only thing keeping Cloud from grabbing the tense arms and embracing his love.

As Sephiroth exited the room, Cloud heard a snicker. He turned his attention to the other trooper. It took a second but he realized what the man had laughed at. Sephiroth's long silver hair was still ridden with numerous braids running down its length.

Zack gave the trooper a pointed glare. "We have a rule in SOLDIER: Don't ask and pray they don't tell."

~~~~~~

The other squad members had already gathered in front of the Shinra mansion. From behind a building, Cloud watched Sephiroth grudgingly humor the crowd by allowing his picture to be taken. The man's face tightened as an overly enthusiastic resident of Nibleheim wrapped his arm around the General shoulders. The smiling man obviously didn't realize the danger he put himself in by preforming the unwanted gesture. The picture was snapped and the man released Sephiroth who quickly marched away. His escape was obvious to Cloud but no one else seemed to care how uncomfortable the whole situation made General Sephiroth.

The relief in Sephiroth's eyes when the man caught sight of him made Cloud glad he had hurried. Then the General was all business. "We'll be heading out to the reactor shortly. Tifa, are you ready?"

Tifa gave the General a fleeting nod and finished her conversation with Zack. Cloud put on his head gear before he slipped into the crowd, assuring that no one would even realize he had come back to Nibleheim.

Old insecurities crept back into his mind as he made his way past the sweat stained bodies of people he recognized. He had never been accepted in his hometown. He had left to join SOLDIER in hopes of impressing everyone. To become someone they could look up to. He had failed miserably. Over a year away from home and he had accomplished nothing.

General Sephiroth gave Cloud a hasty half smile when he approached. "Let's head out, shall we."

Tifa marched ahead of them and lead the way up the trail. Cloud moved up behind Sephiroth, next to the other trooper. He couldn't stop his brows from raising at the three braids at the back of Sephiroth's head. The man had obviously missed them. Cloud started to open his mouth to clue the General in but promptly closed it.

With a tilt of his head, he decided that they actually looked nice. He chuckled to himself, drawing the attention of the trooper next to him. Following Cloud's line of sight, the man chuckled too and pointed to the General's hair. Cloud rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the trail. The trooper snorted, shaking his head. They continued on in silence.

~~~~~~

Heat ate at his skin. Cloud knew he should move, get up and fight, but his mind had become strangely empty.

‘Get up, Cloud, or you won't be getting up,' his mind barked at him. He coughed again, the dryness of his lungs burned with each vibration. Dizziness kept his limbs from moving effectively. He knew he dying, laying on the ground in the middle of the street.

"Get up, you fool." His voice was horse, barely recognizable. He wanted to get up. He wanted to save the people around him as well as himself, but the vision of the man suddenly stole his thoughts once again. ‘No, I don't want to see him again!' he begged his mind but couldn't break free of the image of the man. His form as the man killed a woman merely walking down the street had been permanently etched into Cloud's mind like the fire around him burned his skin.

‘The silver-haired man couldn't have been Sephiroth. He just couldn't be.'

The General had seemed so distant after they had investigated the reactor, which was quite a feat since the man's usual aloofness was hard to top. Upon arriving back in Nibleheim, Sephiroth had gone into the Shinra mansion without a word to anyone. Cloud had waited on the water tower for him, dozing off several times. After countless hours, the man had emerged and Cloud had run up to him to see if he was all right. The General had walked right past him as if he hadn't even been there. Cloud had called after him. . . The deaths. The fire. People screaming.

"No, no, no, no. . ." Cloud tried to find the emptiness again but couldn't.

He had chased after Sephiroth and tried to stop him. One crack on the side of his head with the hilt of the man's Masamune had brought about an instant blackness. Then Cloud had awakened to fire. His town was burning down around him and he couldn't even stand up.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement. He arched his head and watched Zack pull a body out of a burning building. ‘Zack! My God, he's alive!' Fighting off a raging headache, Cloud slowly rolled onto his side but only caught of a glimpse of Zack running past the buildings toward the mountains.

"I have to help him," Cloud whispered determinedly to himself.

~~~~~~

Cloud barely held onto consciousness as he lay on the catwalk inside of the mako reactor. Sephiroth. The name floated around in his mind, never finding any real definition. The burning pain in his chest created by the Masamune was nothing compared to the torment stabbing his mind. He was actually surprised by how little the wound hurt. He realized then that he had to be going into shock but he couldn't seem to care.

‘Dead. Everyone is dead: my mother, Tifa, Zack, everyone in Nibleheim. All killed by. . .' Cloud laughed at himself, sending stabs of pain through his body. He couldn't even face the truth. Everyone had been killed by the man he loved. By the man he had sent to his death.

Sephiroth hadn't even screamed when Cloud had hurled him into the mako hundreds of meters below the catwalk. The only thing he had said before his death was: ‘It can't be.'

Cloud laughed again. It seemed that not even Sephiroth had ever had confidence in him, even after Cloud had somehow gotten the better of him. Even then he wasn't good enough.

Just the memory of the pure hate in the man's eyes send a chill down Cloud's spine. Those aquamarine eyes had spoken nothing of love for him. Not even recognition. The man had become a shell housing only madness. His intelligence, his beauty; the way his silver hair flowed like a river when he had limped away from him, all meant nothing in face of the. . .

"Monster," Cloud mouthed.

Everything the man had accomplished and everything the man had been meant nothing in face of the monster he had become.

Suddenly someone sprinted past him but Cloud couldn't focus his eyes fast enough to figure out who it had been. A minute later the person moved past him again. Cloud tried to call out but his voice stayed trapped in his throat. Alone again, he laid on the metal walkway, waiting for the inevitable.

That time came all too quickly, except he hadn't been expecting a rescue. Numerous figures appeared above him. Their faces were unrecognizable but, in light of the blue uniforms, he knew they where there to rescue him, Zack, and Tifa. Groaning when breathing became excruciating as arms wedged underneath his torso and legs, he wondered what he would tell them about Sephiroth and what he had done to the man he. . . Tears crept into his eyes. ‘Sephiroth, why? Why did you do this? How. . . how can I still love you? God, I'm as much of a monster as he is. . . was.'

A man spoke above him, "do you want him where we stored number one?"

"No. Place him in a cylinder. I need some conscious specimens for my research. If anyone else is alive in here, do the same."

"Yes, Sir."

Cloud barely comprehended what had been said but he understood it well enough to beg of Sephiroth, "Why didn't you take me with you?"

~~~~~~