By Nights Disclaimers: Fushigi Yuugi, its world and its characters are the property of the great Watase Yuu and other respective companies. This written piece is for personal entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement of any kind is meant by this author. This songfic is based on the lyrics of the song "Say" by The Corrs. "Chichiri-san is here, Kouji-sama." Next to me, Tasuki smiled and got up so fast that his leg whacked the side of the table. Cursing, he pulled his bruised leg out and continued on his way to the door so fast, he could have turned anyone who would merely brush past him in circles. Tasuki seems happy, I thought wistfully.
The future I can see Gone are the days of precious love Relied on, and leaned on I hated seeing Tasuki like that, sad and lonely. I'm here. I was always here. So what's the problem? Other than that, I'm also nervous. Ever since Genrou left and became Tasuki to serve as a Suzaku Seishi, I had to endure him being away from me, and sometimes I missed him so much that it hurt me. Him being away from me meant him growing without me, him finding other best friends, other loved ones, without me.
By your side And why oh why I never thought that it would be like this My first love the last time I shrugged and turned to the dusty old mirror that hung near my door. Why am I bothered so much by Chichiri? I tried to reassure myself. Tasuki loves me. He has told me that more than once, and "I love you" were the first words that left his mouth when we finally met again after the war. And besides, when it came to looks, I definitely had the advantage. I blushed, embarrassed to worry so much about my looks for the first time in my life. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Blue hair, darker blue than the monk's, perfectly tanned skin, and my eyes.
But it he say say says that he needs me There's a light, there's a light A light for me I looked again at myself in the mirror. Yup. Looks-wise, I definitely have the advantage. At least I don't have a weird scar on my eye, just on my cheek, and it ain't that huge and ugly looking, I thought. I knew I was being very mean and selfish, but who cared, when it came to Tasuki I would do anything. I grinned ruefully. And knowing the fact that Tasuki followed his hormones more when it came to affection with others meant I have nothing to worry about. I smiled and left the room to follow him. --- Screams of pain and yells of complaints filled the air of Mt. Leikaku as we returned from a very unsuccessful raid. Though thankfully, none were dead, a lot were injured, and plenty were angry over the outcome. I massaged my temples and retired to my room before anyone would have the chance to bother me more. I had personally planned today's raid, and it hadn't gone very well. The target didn't know we were attacking, but apparently a certain someone didn't man the end line like he said he would, for our target's backup was able to snare us from behind. I frowned at that someone, who was sitting by the window, lounging in what seemed to be peaceful silence.
But he took you - took you away So may things I'd like to ask It's no good - 'cos you're not here I got up and snatched the chair from underneath him, sending him crashing on his butt on the floor. "Fuck!" he yelled. "Ok, so I know it was my friggin' fault for not guarding everyone's butt but I didn't mean it, Kouji!" "Didn't mean it?" I argued. "That's not an excuse, Genrou. Some of our men were hurt. A huge percentage of them are angry. All of us were expecting loot to use for food tonight." He crossed his arms. "So?" he replied in a offhanded tone. "It's not like we can do anything now." I felt myself losing my patience, but I knew all too well that losing patience when arguing with him wouldn't get me anywhere. "You could try showing a little concern. You could try going out and helping the injured." His eyes flashed. "And what are you supposed to do, huh? Just 'cause you're leader now doesn't mean you could sit down on your fucken lazy butt doing nothin'! And by the way, quit calling me Genrou. It's Tasuki now, remember?" "I'm gonna sit down here and take a nap, since you've just given' me a headache from trying to beat some sense into your head," I declared. "And fine, Tasuki, I'll throw away Genrou from now on. I should've known Genrou was the more responsible one, anyway." "What the fuck does that mean?" he yelled. "I'm responsible too! What the hell are you trying to say?" "Just get out, Tasuki." "No fuckin' way!" he practically screamed. "You're gonna explain what you just said or else-"
And if only you were here You see the night and I the day But sometimes we will walk away "We're fine," I answered, and at the same time, he yelled "Kouji's bein' an ass!" I stood up and frowned at him. "Get out, Tasuki." To my surprise, he did. "Who wants to be with you anyway," he muttered under his breath. With that, he turned around and left the room, slamming the door behind him.
But it he say say says that he needs me There's a light, there's a light A light for me (Never want to feel that again, that again Never wanna feel that again) "Anou, Kouji-kun..." I didn't bother turning around. "What do you want, Chichiri?" I answered coldly. "Anou...." he seemed to be hesitating. "You shouldn't have blown your top with Tasuki, no da." "I didn't blow my top," I snapped. "In case you didn't notice, it was him that kept on yelling at me." "I know, no da. But you know Tasuki, he can be very...emotional, no da."
Gone are the days when I was young and free Gone are the days of precious love Relied on, and leaned on "It's true, no da." Chichiri leaned a little on the wall, and rested his staff next to him. "Tasuki acts tough sometimes, but when it comes to real tough situations, he would get really emotional." I winced when I saw his horrible scar again as he removed his mask. His one good eye, now uncovered, seemed sad and far away. "Like during the time Nuriko died. I figured that was the first time Tasuki saw death, no da?" I remembered the first time Tasuki saw someone die from the raids. I was unable to remove his head from my chest for he cried there in sorrow for weeks. I imagined the pain he must have felt, being with strangers and having to endure the whole thing again. I wished I was there. "Well, Tasuki's grown up," I mused. "He's so different from who he was a long time ago, when I still called him Genrou." "You stopped calling him Genrou, no da?" Chichiri asked. "Why?" "He doesn't want me to call him Genrou," I muttered. "Trust Tasuki to forget about his past the moment he gets into a better life other than stealing."
But it he say say says that he needs me There's a light, there's a light A light for me "I don't think Tasuki meant that, no da," he said softly. "Tasuki may have grown up, but if there's one thing he's learned, it's that you must never forget your past, no da. He hated the times I reminded him that Nuriko and the others are dead, but he continued living on anyway, and eventually accepted the truth. The interesting thing was that he always talked about our fun times together when they were still alive, and we relived them through our conversations. Remembering them became our way of coping." He regarded me intently with his one good eye. "I figure that was the reason he wanted you to call him Tasuki, so he will always remember that although his life as a Suzaku Seishi was hard, there were happy times in being a Seishi and following that path in his life wasn't a bad choice after all and worth remembering." I was at a loss for words. Everything he said made perfect sense. And the more he talked on about Tasuki and his life as a Seishi, and everything he'd suffered, the more I came to understand just how different he was now, and how he has matured. Sure, Tasuki was still irresponsible and hot headed, but somehow, in him shone this kind of wisdom and experience I have never seen from him.
(So many things that I'd like to say But he took you - took you away So may things I'd like to ask But he took you - took you away) Say, say Say "Hai, Chichiri-san?" "I hope you aren't thinking that Tasuki's forgotten about you, and him being Genrou, because I know he hasn't." "Nani?" He gave me an understanding smile. "Try to relive the Genrou in Tasuki to make up for the time you had away from each other. The same as he relived Nuriko and the others in his talks with me to remember them by. He's probably waiting for you to welcome him back completely as Genrou and as Tasuki, with open arms." I nodded, smiling for real since Chichiri arrived. "Hai, Chichiri-san." He picked up his staff from its leaning space on the wall. "I should be going now, no da," he said, smiling cheerfully. "Ja!" "Ja," I called softly. Chichiri was right. Tasuki will always be Tasuki, and he existed in the hearts of all the Suzaku Seishi. However, Genrou was still also Genrou, and no matter how far away in the past he seems now, he still existed within me. My eyes followed Chichiri's retreating back as I strode toward my dusty old mirror near my door. I thought about the man I feared Tasuki might have loved during his times away from me as a Suzaku Seishi, and finally started understanding why. I thought of what might have happened between Chichiri and Tasuki and how he had gotten to know him so well, how he was able to see him so perfectly beyond everything he kept hidden within his fiery temper, all with one eye shut. I thought of Chichiri's eyes, ravaged by pain, wisdom and experience. I looked again at my reflection in the mirror, and realized how much more beautiful his eyes were compared to mine. Contact Nights at: nights@poetic.com. |