Y
[Yakusai Kocho] [Yami No Matsuei] [Yu-Gi-Oh, The Movie]
[Yumedamaya Kidan] [Yuyu Hakusho Movie]
[Yuyu Hakusho, 2nd Movie]

Z

[Zetsuai] [Z Mind] [Z.O.E. 2167 Idolo]

For Yosei Hime Ren: See Elf Princess Rane
For Younger Sister Juice: See Imouto Jiru

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	Yakusai Kocho: Heian University is renowned throughout the world for its astrology program. Specifically to study under Professor Kamo, Kocho Enoki and her sister Kosaku transferred from Taiwan into Heian's Fortune Teller's Club. There the sisters met Urano, a young man who has spent his life haunted by ghosts. However, the ghosts aren't limited to Urano's person; they've begun taking over the school and becoming violent to the point of attacking pupils. Professor Kamo suggests they invoke the sprits, using Kocho's powers as a medium. The group begins the ritual, with the Enoki sisters properly decked out in revealing "mystical" robes. Despite feeling ridiculous, Kocho's power channels the wandering soul, and the Heian haunt materializes. Initially, it appears to be a little girl, but quickly transforms into a violent samurai that slashes off what little clothes Kocho was wearing. Once Urano and Professor Kamo recover from seeing Kocho's body, they begin investigating. In the fight, the spirit dropped a medallion, which Urano identifies as being the crest of the Nonki clan. He looks the family up, and finds that back in the feudal era the Nonki family was wrapped in tragedy. In attempts to avoid conflict, Tokinaga Nonki arranged a marriage between his son Kiyomaru and the Miyasu family's second daughter, Seihime. However, Kiyomaru already had a fiancée by choice. Enraged by his father's forced marriage, Kiyomaru ran away before the wedding day, and was never seen again. His servants all committed suicide, and their heads were displayed on Hirayasu Mound. Meanwhile, Professor Kamo finds that the spiritual energy is localized in the school's pool, where Hirayasu Mound once stood. Professor Kamo sends Urano and Kosaku to distribute sealing charms around the school, while he prepares the final charm, and Kocho waits by the pool to begin the ceremony. Urano quickly finishes his duty, and joins Kocho; the others are late, so Kocho asks Urano about how he feels toward her. But before he can answer, Urano is possessed by the spirits and taken hostage. Back with Professor Kamo, a shape-shifting demon seduces him and holds him prisoner. Luckily Kosaku stumbles in just in time to save her teacher. The demon immediately turns on Kosaku, transforming from a beautiful woman into a hot guy. But Kosaku likes the attention, and joyfully accepts, only to be disappointed by the demon's performance. She kicks him in the jewels, frees Professor Kamo, and joins the fight between the possessed Urano and Kocho. Desperate to free Urano from the ghost's clutches, Kocho uses her ultimate move: becoming completely naked and straddling Urano, whose body reacts and expels the ghost. Defeated, the ghosts reveal themselves as Kiyomaru and his servants. They explain that all they want are headstones so that they can be properly at rest. Unable to afford such a thing, the ghosts put on plays to raise funds. Review: I'm totally divided when it comes to this one-shot wonder. At first glance, it's a steaming load with shit drawings, an overdone plot, and character acting that makes you want to cry out in pain. But then, half way through, I found myself busting a gut, mainly at sensei's "most horrible transformation sequence in history" (obligatory nude transformation + old man = overcooked breakfast sausage, need I say more?). Granted, there is a fair bit of sexism, considering Kocho spends more than two-thirds of this OAV in the buff, and every other girl becomes at least partially undressed. But in defense of how much "subjugating" happens to the ladies, the guys aren't much better off. Like clockwork, the moment boobs are uncovered, even the veteran priest becomes a raging pile of useless hormones. I suppose I'll give Demon Fighter Kocho the benefit of the doubt; although the dialogue has as much passion as a high school performance of RENT, and the art is downright offensive (in its lack of skill, of course, the boobs are always welcome), I have to say the two or three chuckles you'll have is worth the 35 minutes. I mean, come on- it's half an hour. You may as well watch an anime with time that would otherwise be spent mining nose gold. Rates: 2.5/5 Tapes: One Movie.
	Yami No Matsuei: Hisoka, a new recruit, is partnered up with Tsuzuki, a veteran to the agency of Shinigami (Angels of Death). They reside in the Land of the Dead, and investigate strange deaths on Earth. The pair is at odds from the very beginning due to personality clashes; Tsuzuki is carefree and goofy, while Hisoka is the epitome of restraint. Despite being flighty, Tsuzuki is exceptionally powerful, and can summon legendary beasts. Hisoka has the more subdued power of being an empath; he can read into the past of objects and people by touching them. Together, Tsuzuki and Hisoka fight ghosts to vampires, and the ever-resurfacing Doctor Muraki, who has an obsessive crush on Tsuzuki. He is also responsible for Hisoka’s death, and because he wanted revenge, Hisoka came back as a Shinigami. There are four main story arcs in Yami No Matsuei: The Maria Wong vampire trilogy in which we meet Dr. Muraki and learn how he loves to manipulate people, the Devil’s Trill trilogy, in which we meet Hijirii, a talented violinist who falls in love with Tsuzuki after being saved from a demon by him, the Tarot Curse arc in which our heroes get to pose as card-dealers on a cruise to solve a murder, and the Demon’s Reckoning saga in which Tsuzuki’s and Muraki’s pasts are revealed: Muraki’s grandfather was a doctor, just as he is, and had preformed several experiments on Tsuzuki because of his amazing ability to regenerate despite lack of food, water and sleep. However, after several attempts at suicide, Tsuzuki finally died, only to become a Shinigami. He had lost these memories, and only begins to regain them when Muraki describes the experiment. Muraki’s ongoing interest in Tsuzuki is the same as his grandfather’s, but for a different reason. He wants Tsuzuki’s strong regenerative body in order to bring his brother back to life. Muraki’s brother killed his family, and tried to kill Muraki as well, but was shot down by Muraki’s servant. Set on getting revenge by personally killing his brother Saki, Muraki finally manages to subdue Tsuzuki by depressing him, and brings him to the lab where he keeps Saki’s remains. However, before the procedure can take place, Tsuzuki attacks Muraki and releases Tern Snake, a demon that can kill even the Shinigami. He intends to die along with Muraki, because he is tired of living. Hisoka arrives and argues with him, saying if Tsuzuki needs a reason to live, live for him, because Hisoka is tired of being alone, and only wishes to be with Tsusuzki. He agrees, and both emerge unscathed from the fire. In the end, Hisoka tells Tsuzuki that he senses Muraki is still alive. Tsuzuki doesn’t doubt it, but is certain that together they can finally defeat him. Review: As a slash fan, I was immediately enamoured with the boy love in this anime, but I do have my squabbles with it. The designs aren’t very strong. I like Hisoka’s look, and the few women featured are pretty well done. But Tsuzuki’s guardian chicken -or whatever the hell that is- has one of the most god awful designs I’ve ever seen. Fushigi Yuugi called, they want their phoenix back. The animation isn’t too bad, but it’s rarely used. Instead, they choose to use pans with bubbles instead of actually making things move. The one shining point is the music. It’s beautiful, memorable, and fits the atmosphere perfectly. I was especially impressed with the plot. It was inventive, and the relationship were both comical and realistic. I enjoyed the fact Hisoka didn’t immediately fall in love with his partner; they needed time to grow on each other, so the boy love was even more sweet when they got there. Rates: 4/5 Tapes: Several episodes with different missions on each.
	Note: There’s some confusion over which movie is the official “Yu-Gi-Oh” theatre release. There are two movies, this is the 30 minute short movie. So far as I know, it has not been released in North America. Yu-Gi-Oh The Movie: In the time of the Pharaohs, an ancient game was played which invoked the power of fierce beasts. This power was harnessed during magical ceremonies which foretold one’s destiny. This magic they called The Shadow Game. Due to its immense power, the magic became sought after and abused, to the point where its sway threatened the world until one brave Pharaoh intervened and halted the destruction with seven magical totems. Now, in contemporary times, The Shadow Game has been revived in the form of Duel Monsters, a card game played obsessively by many children. One such fan, or “duellist” is Yugi Moto. However, he becomes much more than an average game-loving child when his grandfather gives him a piece of an old Egyptian puzzle. Curious, Yugi researches the puzzle and eventually solves it. Assembled, this relic gives Yugi the power to transform into Yami Yugi, an older and more powerful duellist. Unfortunately, not every boy is so gifted; Shogo Aoyama is made fun of by his peers for being too afraid to duel. But one afternoon he buys a pack of Duel Monster cards on impulse. In the hand is an incredibly powerful card: The Red Eyes Black Dragon. The card is rumoured not to assure victory, but to instil the potential to win for any duellist brave enough to compete. At first, Shogo doesn’t obey the card’s legend. He simply totes it around, basking in the respect that comes from possessing such a rare monster. Yugi notices this, as does his friend Jounouchi. Being headstrong, Jounouchi wants to confront Shogo directly. But Yugi is concerned about the boy’s state of mind, particularly after Shogo claims he is now exempt from duelling because he will simply win. However, once Yugi is involved, his nemesis also enters the scene. Kaiba, an older and much more wealthy boy challenges Yugi to a duel. To insure he participates, Kaiba orders his guards to steal both Yugi’s puzzle and Shogo’s prize card. Enraged, Jounouchi pursues the guards and regains the Red Eyes card. In the melee, he slips it not into Shogo’s deck, but into Yugi’s, knowing the smaller boy will be too afraid to duel. The duel begins, with Kaiba and Yugi facing off through the Virtual Battle System. This new way of playing makes holograms of the monsters which appear real. Unafraid, Yugi goes all out, but is beaten down by Kaiba’s Blue Eyes White Dragon cards. It’s as he plays his final, ditch-effort move that Yugi notices the Red Eyes in his deck. However, he cannot use it until its owner, Shogo, is brave enough to duel. In the stands, Jounouchi lectures Shogo on what it means to be a duellist, and eventually, his words reach the boy. Just as things look hopeless for Yugi, Shogo releases his card, winning the fight. Kaiba bows to Yugi’s intense battle, and says he’s the only person worth duelling. Review: When they first explained it, the game seemed so simple: you lose life points if you lose a card. Then suddenly things are flaming, exploding, and Magical Silk Hats get involved. I'm very alarmed. But wait... If it's a virtual battle, why do they still wince and their hair blows around during the "holographic" melee? I'm also a bit wary of this whole Kaiba/Yugi relationship. Slashy as it is, Kaiba seems to stalk (yes, there is video surveillance and goons involved with this voyeurism) Yugi simply to engage him in battle and see him transform into a big boi with leather pantz. Er. Right, Kaiba, in any other world, you would be arrested for that sort of behaviour, especially after ordering the FBI to go beat up six year olds for their decks. There's a point in RPGs where you've gone to far, and you know you've crossed That Line when you roll small children for puzzle pieces and playing cards. But somehow, it’s all a completely reasonable course of action for these people. Apparently having a "very powerful" card and announcing such in a cafe causes everybody to freeze in their tracks- drinks spilled, food dropped, the whole bit. Wait, when I run into Tim Horton's yelling about Magic Cards, people don't react that way at all! But then again, I don't get my ass kicked for my Bee of Eternal Stinging card, either. And speaking of butt-whoopin', why is it Yugi isn't getting wedgied for his ENSEMBLE? This guy is sporting the "I'm not sure which hairstyle I'd like: let's try ALL OF THEM", as well as leather chaps and buckles. Yes, even when he's eight. Add on a huge chunky pyramid necklace and eyes only acceptable on Donald Duck circa 1950, and you've got yourself a main character... Of PAINFUL proportions. But if you can bear being assaulted by Yu-Gi-Oh’s horrendous design and painfully “motivational” music, then this isn’t such a bad watch. If you have a good sense of humour, that is. Also it’s only 29 minutes, so it saves anybody from an entire SERIES that’s based on selling cards to kids. In the end, I just thank the higher powers that they didn’t try and stretch this plot into ninety minutes, because, realistically, there just aren’t that many Yu-Gi-Oh cards to try and pitch. Rates: 2/5 Tapes: One Movie.
	Yumedamaya Kidan: After her mother died in childbirth, Naho was left the responsibility of raising her little brother, Jun. With her father working hard to support their family, Naho's carefree days as a teenager are cut short, replaced with long hours of changing diapers and trying to calm tantrums. On a particularly bad day, wherein Naho is forced to cancel plans with her friends in order to babysit an extremely colicky Jun, a strange man comes to the door. He introduces himself as Kotarou, a Dream Sphere Dealer. Though Naho is initially skeptical of his powers, he throws her into several dreams- dreams of spending fun afternoons with her friends, being reunited with her mother, and realities in which Jun, and therefore her responsibility, does not exist. After a time, Kotarou says it's time to make a decision as to which reality Naho would like to make her own. To his surprise, she picks none of those shown to her, but rather wishes for a world in which she has no memories of Jun, or her mother. Before the Dream Sphere of this wish can be created, the dream world in which Naho and Kotarou stand becomes unstable and begins to disintegrate. Kotarou manages to launch their escape with a train that runs on dream spheres, and Naho is forced to make the choice between entering her Dream Sphere or using it as fuel in order to escape back to the real world. She chooses the latter, finally coming to terms with the positive aspects of her life, in particular her little brother, who she wouldn't trade for all the amusement parks and shopping trips in the world. Review: This short film is as weird and fantastic as they get- it's like a dark version of Miyazaki's tales, with art and character designs to rival the renowned producer. Whether you watch this anime passively for the eye candy, or to dissect the multifaceted symbolism within, you'll doubtlessly be impressed. I can't give enough credit to the writers- for their creativity, for the sheer volume of character development in such a short time, and particularly for how well the story unfolds and comes to a conclusive, satisfying end. This is not a pilot, or a drabble, it's a short film done the way it should be- and one of the best I've seen in a long while. Rates: 4.5/5 Tapes: One Short Film.
	Yuyu Hakusho, The Movie: Lord Koenma, Prince of the Spirit World, has been kidnapped while King Enma is away. Koenma is being held captive in exchange for the Golden Seal, a magical item so powerful that it is rumoured to have the ability to overthrow even King himself. Botan travels to Earth and gets the attention of Yusuke and Kuwabara, who are enjoying their summer break and the compulsory gang-wars that are waged within. Quick to drop their normal lives and fight evil, the two boys follow Botan back to the Spirit World, where they launch into the search for Lord Koenma. Though it is risky to bring the Golden Seal with them, Yusuke decides that getting Koenma back is more important than anything, because he owes the boy a life debt. However, the plot is not so simple as it seems. Though Koenma was abducted by a simple childish rival who sought revenge, the "henchmen" of this rival has ulterior motives. Transforming into a monster, the henchmen attacks Yusuke repeatedly, wanting nothing more than the power of the seal. The two battle it out fiercely, and by loyalty alone, Yusuke survives to rescue Lord Koenma and repay his debt. Review: Seems to me, when your "feature film" ends up being a big THIRTY minutes long, it wouldn't hurt to slap on a little introductory sequence so those who aren't loyal fans of the series could TELL WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. Suddenly everything is fighting. Mother, I am scared. It's not only for the sake of understanding that I think this movie started the action too quickly, but also for tension: there was none. It was sudden, ceaseless fighting with no build up. This made it more like a filler episode of Pokémon than anything that belongs in the Yu Yu Hakusho arc. This anime was also filled with some trite, overdone, BORING material. After getting his ass majorly kicked by a monster directly plagiarized from Dragon Ball Z, Yusuke is on his death bed. But he's not dead (we're not surprised, thanks). And while his perfectly healthy and capable friends stand around scratching their asses, Yusuke uses the last of his strength... While dangling precariously over lava. (Funny how that never causes people to combust when they hit the 500°C steam coming off the stuff.) But it's not like the guy can die. I mean, I never once felt anxious for any of the characters' well beings. And despite her being kidnapped and smacked around for a good 20 minutes out of the show, I couldn't even sympathize with Botan (have I ever mentioned how much I hate her name... I can't hear it without having traumatic flashes of Botox treatment gone wrong). In fact, the one character I felt sorry for was the nemesis, who gets his ass kicked by a man twice his age. Look, Kuwabara, if you're going to beat children... You should do it in the privacy of your own home, and not while sitting unsteadily on the edge of a crumbling volcano. Which reminds me, why is it once the Final Boss is beaten, any elemental or situational danger is suddenly moot? Rates: 0/5 Tapes: One Movie.
	Yuyu Hakusho, Poltergeist Report: The River Styx floods the Spirit World, and Emperor Koenma is forced at the last minute to entrust a Sphere of Power to Botan. She attempts to put it in the possession of spirit investigator Yusuke, who is a high school student with spiritual powers. However, she is struck by lightning during the storm, and falls into Yusuke's world, right into his arms. He tells Keiko to take Botan to Hinageshi's temple. While on his way, Yusuke and his friend Kuwahara meet up with monsters. They learn from miko Hinageshi that on earth there are five stores of spirit energy that could save the spirit world from flooding if they are released. However, they are not the only ones trying to locate the five points. Yakumo, the King of the Nether World was defeated by the Spirit World long ago. But now, with hope of rebuilding his lost kingdom as well as taking Earth, he has returned from exile to obtain the Sphere. At each Spirit Point one of Yusuke's friends faces the Netherworld monsters, only to have every point destroyed and Botan kidnapped by Yakumo. Yusuke has a moment of self doubt- he wasn't able to protect Botan twice now, but from everybody's despair he rises, and pledges to fight Yakumo to the end. He faces the King, and he and his friends are severely beaten. At the last moment, as Yakumo holds up The Sphere to revive his world, Hinageshi grabs him, and despite being a little girl, manages to dislodge The Sphere from Yakumo's hand. But Yakumo isn't worried, believing that he's the only one that can wield its power. He is wrong: Yusuke picks up The Sphere, transforming its power into spirit energy that heals his friends' wounds, and together, they take down Yakumo, ensuring the Nether World remains in purgatory. Review: This was an anime's anime. That means only one thing: it's time to go through the anime check list. - The Spirit Realm in danger - Evil Realm vs. Earth - A child emperor from another world - Flooding - Exploding - The Main High school Guy with powerful rays and his 4 best friends: • A token good Pretty Boy with a tortured past • A Miko Temple girl • A lonely good Psychic Guy • A big loudmouth Best Friend with little to no magic - The Main Bad Guy with powerful rays and his 4 best henchmen: • A token evil Pretty Boy who takes the enemy attacks • An Illusionist who uses people's emotions against them • An evil Psychic Guy who turns people evil • Twins with scythes - Lots of yelling and powering up - Love triangles - AWKWARD love triangles - Somebody becoming evil, but not really, just so the Bad Guy gets his comeuppance - A Girl in need of saving that has a magic object within her soul, and is surprisingly powerful, yet remains unconscious for 95% of the film - Said Girl uttering half-conscious pleas to the Main Guy - People sitting around doing nothing during battle - It looks like the good guys are going to lose horribly until the main dude releases His Yet Unknown Power - Everybody coming together at the end - But the final battle is still exclusively against Main Guy and Bad Guy - Voiceover of a city pan at the end that leaves it open to further episodes So, yes. It was formulaic, but that isn't to say it wasn't entertaining. Some of the cheesy reused ideas made me laugh, or cringe, but for some reason it simply added to the whole experience. I haven't seen the series either, yet I was still able to enjoy this film. The animation was well done, and the designs were captivating. There were some slow parts, particularly the beginning, but once I was drawn in, it was hard to break away from this anime. My only gripe is with the sound effects. Sure, I don't know what sound a massive spiritual ray would make, but I'd imagined it wouldn't be the sound FX from Pacman. Rates: 3.5/5 Tapes: One Movie.
Z
	Zetsuai 1989: Six years ago, Nanjo Koji fell into a desperate fascination with a boy he saw for only a fleeting moment. Presently, Koji has become an international pop star. Despite the fame, glory and women, his life is still empty. Meanwhile, Izumi, the boy Koji loves, has grown up as well, following his dream to be a soccer star. He's an unbeatable player, but hasn't progressed to nationals due to his refusal to go abroad. He is petrified of fame, of the tabloids, and of the secrets from his past that they would uncover. Contradictory to his usually cold demeanor, when Izumi notices a man passed out in the rain, feverish and drunk, he helps him. Unknowingly, he takes Koji into his home and nurses him back to health. But Izumi is by no means kind, he quickly snaps at Koji and orders him to leave. Seeing the fierce look that struck him six years ago, Koji recognizes Izumi, and once again begins his pursuit. Completely disregarding his fame and blowing off the executives that demand he return to work, Koji interrogates Izumi's acquaintances for information and discovers that Izumi was orphaned when his mother became unstable and killed her husband. In her demented state, she also attacked Izumi, scarring him both mentally and physically for life. But rather than being driven away by Izumi's past, it only makes Koji more intent on winning the boy's affections. Driven to an intense need for gratification, Koji traps Izumi in his apartment, and confesses his feelings. When he tries to approach Izumi, the boy attempts to escape, but Koji pushes him down, declaring that he has nothing left, that he can't stop himself. However, Koji abruptly calms after disrobing Izumi, and seeing the scars that were left on him. Koji realizes that his violent actions are only repeating the most horrendous events in Izumi's life. Koji dissolves into tears, and Izumi stays with him throughout. Review: Welcome to the classic yaoi anime, Zetsuai (which is essentially a made up word that emotes "desperate love"). And what a fitting name for a story that watches like a soap opera. There's never a break in the tragedy for these guys: either one of them in incapacitated, in the hospital, dying, or they're at odds and fighting. I'm most happy with how they projected Koji's terrible handle on his relationship with Izumi. It's clear that Izumi is a rational person, if not withdrawn, while Koji is impulsive to a fault. Izumi isn't charmed by Koji's frankly stalker-like behavior, nor is he particularly impressed when Koji does idiotic things that cause self harm. But like anybody who takes responsibility on themselves, Izumi is always there for Koji when he fouls up his life. The design of Zetsuai, while dated, is still fairly strong. In far shots, it's obvious the proportions are drastically exaggerated. But close-ups, while boasting a sort of pointy-charm, were bearable. Luckily for the feminine design of the characters, strong male voices were used. I found this solidified that this was indeed two MEN, where many yaoi anime make the mistake of depicting one of the guys so girlishly that it's moot to even call it boy love. However, whether it was the design or the deep voices, I simply didn't believe the age these characters were supposed to be: Sixteen- Seventeen at most. I'm with Koji's hooker, I think he's lying about his age so he doesn't get arrested for trying to get a little slice of school boy. Finally, the music of Zetsuai is very well done, as one would expect with one of the characters being a ROCK STAR. Yes, the musical interludes within the anime are very welcome, and even serve to advance the plot, showing what Koji is thinking and feeling in rational terms, contrary to how he acts. So, if you're a yaoi fan, you may as well see Zetsuai as a right of passage. Everybody has, and though the violence, injury, blood play and general angst of this anime is tame by today's standards, it's still a creepy little ditty about decadent rock stars and tortured sports enthusiasts. That should really be a genre on it's own. Rates: 3.5/5 Tapes: One Movie.
	Z Mind: During the annual Cherry Blossom Festival, Ayame is kidnapped by mysterious men. Immediately, her sisters, Renge and Sumire and her father chase after her. However, Ayame is saved by a strange young man of few words. He disappears shortly after her rescue, and Ayame is safely returned to her family. But once they're in the privacy of their home, Sumire and Renge begin arguing with their father over the way he handles crisis situations; they feel suffocated by his dated ways, and run away to their aunt and uncle's house. In order to pay their way, Sumire and Renge work on the family's tour boat, and are soon joined by Ayame. Suddenly, a spaceship appears in the sky and ejects a giant mecha that begins destroying the city. This chaos knocks Ayame off the boat, and she is once again rescued by the young man from the previous day. But this time, he doesn't return her to her family, but throws her into the fray. Ayame is understandably alarmed, but strangely enough, finds herself safely in the cockpit of a giant robot. She understands the controls, and is able to pilot the mech through intuition and the help of a strange spirit that guides her. Once the battle is won, Ayame is confronted by the military, and Captain Peckinpah, who return her home. The captain explains to Ayame, Renge and Sumire that the robot, dubbed "Z Mind", was built by their real parents after the military discovered blueprints for it on the Moon. The mother and father the girls have been living with are actually their mother's brother and sister-in-law. This comes as a shock to the girls, but is devastating to their youngest sister, Satsuki. Confused and hurt, Satsuki runs away from home, and is immediately captured by strange grey aliens called "Orgapiens". Sumire and Renge report to Z Base and suit up to pilot their own mechs, but can't seem to find their sister. Meanwhile, Ayame runs out into the fray, and is once again protected by the strange young man, who introduces himself as Koji. In order to save her sister, Ayame purposefully allows herself to be captured. But this proves to be a tactical blunder; the aliens were out to capture Ayame all along, because without her, Z-Mind can't merge with its sister robots, and is severely crippled in the fight. After watching her sisters' futile battle against the aliens, Ayame's strong emotions bring Koji to her side, and he teleports both her and Satsuki to Z Base. Z Mind combines into its ultimate form, and destroys the aliens. The girls return home, happy to be safe with their family and grateful that, even though their real parents are gone, they're loved. But the calm doesn't last long. Their surrogate father witnesses a strange ghost hovering around Satsuki. He's scared witless by this, but Ayame recognizes it as the spirit that guides her while she pilots Z Mind. All the girls, including Satsuki, report to Z Base and discuss their discovery with Captain Peckinpah. He theorizes that it's their mother's soul using Satsuki as a medium. Whenever the other girls are in danger, the soul emerges to protect them. The girls have little time to ponder this, as the Orgapien mother ship arrives and begins destroying the city. The girls leap into battle. Meanwhile, Koji is captured by the aliens, and told that, though he has lost his memories, he is a robot from the future sent the destroy humans. They attempt to reprogram him, but fail. He contacts Ayame while she is fighting, and explains that he's in the mother ship and can disable it. Of course, Ayame pleads with him not to, but Koji assures her that he will always protect her in spirit. With his final words, he destroys the ships core, and it begins to explode. Z Mind deals the final blow, and the Orgapiens are dispatched. Ayame, Sumire, Renge, and Satsuki wake up, finding the city in one piece, and everybody acting normally. They're reunited with their family, and join in celebrating the spring festival. Review: Good lord. This is boring. First, it starts with family drama. Oh dear, the kids are adopted. Dramarama, everybody has teenage angst over it and runs away from home! Oh god, remember how that was all the rage in the '80s? Parents are so much luckier now, what with their kids staying put and writing on LiveJournal instead. But then, just as I thought I would surely fall asleep: GIANT ROBOTS! Oh, I bet it gets exciting now! ... No, wait. After that first transformation, all following episodes use the EXACT SAME stock footage. And Ayame isn't even properly naked, it's all featureless clothes swapping! I'm just as disappointed as I was in Sailor Moon- but far more bored. Now for a quick WTF Lyrics segue: "Combine with the burning energy. Tomorrow will come, Z-Mind. Warriors of love risking their lives to fight!" This is the sort of anime that would have been really cool if it had been the first of its kind, and come around twenty years ago. Instead, it's the five thousandth Magical Girl/Giant Transforming Robot anime, and everything has been done before: the shiny transformation sequences, the robot combinations, the three-fighter team that takes on crazy aliens, and the dashing young man that saves their asses when they girl out and start losing. And speaking of Prince Charming, Koji looking after Ayame for the rest of her life is romantic, yes. But now she's stuck being single forever, or having awkward sex with a robot from the future "watching over". The thing is, I could have honestly let all this go if this had just been a run of the mill, "Robots-Save-the-World" flick; but they had to go and break the fourth wall by pointing out things like how silly it is to shout out complicated phrases during attacks. Well of COURSE it's stupid. But it's anime. It would be BORING if people silently sat in a giant robot doing nothing while it transformed and shot missiles. Then the audience would realize there's really NO POINT for the pilot to be there, except to give a human element. OH GOD. I gave it away! What I meant to say was: DOUBLE SHINING MISSILE REBIRTH! The one saving grace of Z Mind is the art; I really liked the style, and the animation is well executed. Unfortunately, that's the only good thing about this anime. Even the musical score was unimpressive. I wouldn't even recommend this as a time-waster, or a film to mock. I'd rather wash the dishes than watch this again, and it's not REALLY bad enough to throw popcorn at. Essentially, Z-Mind is the white bread of anime. I guess I could have a slice, but what's the god damn point? Rates: 0.5/5 Tapes: Six Episode OAV.
	Z.O.E. 2167 Idolo: The prequel to the Zone of Enders game, this story begins at a military installation on Mars - a society held in contempt, and in control, by a domineering Earth. Radium Lavans is a mech pilot for the BAHRAM military forces, and a fierce nationalist for a free Mars, who is assigned to a top secret project involving a new weapon of destruction; Idolo, a mechanized warrior constructed in part from an experimental material called Metatron, which he will pilot. Idolo proves infinitely more powerful than expected, and Radium begins to become unhinged by it, much to the concern of his comrade Viola and fiance Dolly. When Earth forces discover the secret project and capture his beloved he battles his way to her side, and both succumb to the tides of war and death. Review: This is a tale about giant robots powered by magical rocks, the fact three stout American punches to the face can kill a man, and NOSES. Two serious questions: a) Who designed this? b) Were they BLIND? Dolly, supposedly the tasty female lead, has a sexy slap and tickle fest with Radium (I’d make fun of his name- but there are bigger boners to blast… More on that later), in which she boasts the hot chest of a 12 year old boy. But there’s no time to dwell on that, because before you know it, you’ll be assaulted by much more disturbing things, mainly Idolo’s cockpit, which is (ironically enough) located in the mech’s GIANT CODPIECE, which they don’t hesitate to show you from every terrifying angle. The only thing that can overshadow this mechanical member are the characters’ noses. Seriously. The men, the women, EVERYBODY, sports a Barbara Streisand-esque schnoz. And the confusion doesn’t stop at that- the plot is a steaming fondue of cheese. The battles are ridiculous- three Earth soldiers vs. 300 Martian soldiers, and Earth wins? I’ve heard about planet pride, but that’s retarded. Or maybe it’s just Radium’s terrible technique of barrel-rolling through gunfire. PSA: If caught in the line of fire, take cover. Do not pirouette into the fray. These dumbasses NEED a giant magical robot to fight, because, apparently, the Martian army is educated by Rambo’s retarded brother. And it doesn’t stop for a minute: life jackets in space, Radium yelling “WHERE ARE YOU” to Dolly while he’s destroying the spaceship SHE’S ON, and of course, nobody noticing that Idolo’s powering element, Metatron (add that to your periodic table and smoke it), is turning him into a schizophrenic snake molester. You’d think after testing out a hitherto undiscovered Magic Rock, they’d keep a closer eye on the pilot. And all this cacophony of crackpot writing is topped by the end sequence, in which Radium squares off against everybody on Earth, all the while cradling Dolly’s carcass and dreaming about their wedding night. “Magic is for protecting the ones you love!” – Radium. And then he dies. So, I guess the moral of the story is: magic makes you sterile. Or… Don’t mess with Earth. Or… If you’re piloting a giant rampaging kill bot, don’t drop LSD before the final battle, because you will be gunned down 600 to 1. Rates: 1/5 Tapes: One Movie.