Gongaga Yaoi: Review

For Saigo no Door wo Shimero!: See Close the Last Door
For Sengoku Machine GoShogun: Toki No Ihôjin: See Time Stranger
For Sex Taxi: See Kojin Taxi
For Shanbara wo Yuku Mono: See Full Metal Alchemist the Movie
For Shinigami no Ballad: See Ballad of a Shinigami
For Shinseiki Evangelion: See Neon Genesis Evangelion
For Shokuzai no Kyoushitsu: See Classroom of Atonement
For Sister Juice: See Imouto Jiru
For Slaves to Passion: See Hana Dorei
For Soreyuke! Uchuusenkan Yamamoto Youko: See Let's go! ...
For Soukyuu no Fafner: See Fafner
For Spring and Chaos: See Kenji no Haru
For Stand Alone Complex: See Ghost in the Shell, Stand Alone Complex
For Star Quest: See Wings of Honneamise
For Starship Girl Yamamoto Yohko: See Let's go! ...
For Step Sister: See Gibo Mai
For Stratosphera no Yousei: See Nymphs Of The Stratosphere
For Swallowtail Inn: See Ryokan Shirasagi
For Takahashi Rumiko Gekijou: Ningyo no Mori: See Mermaid Forest
For Tank Police: See Dominion Tank Police
For Teizokurei Daydream: See Vuglar Ghost Daydream
For Tenkuu no Escaflowne: See Vision of Escaflowne
For Tenkû no shiro Rapyuta: See Laputa: Castle in the Sky
For Tenshi Kinryouku: See Angel Sanctuary
For Tenshi no Tamago: See Angel's Egg
For The Cat Returns: See Neko no Ongaeshi
For The End of Evangelion: See End of Evangelion
For The End of the Century Darling: See Seikimatsu Darling
For The Professional: See Golgo 13
For The Song of the Wind and Trees: See Kaze to Ki no Uta
For The Wings of Honneamise: See Wings of Honneamise
For Those Obnoxious Aliens: See Urusei Yatsura
For Tokusô sensha-tai Dominion: See New Dominion Tank Police
For Urotsukidoji: See New Saga
For Utena: See Adolescence of Utena (The movie)
OR Revolutionary Girl Utena (The series)
For The Yotoden Movie: See Wrath of the Ninja

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	Saishu Heiki Kanojo: Shuji and Chise enter their senior year at Shibetsu High School in Hokkaido; despite having known each other since childhood, and not feeling anything more than a vague interest, the two decide to date. Both Chise and Shuji are somewhat socially awkward, so in the interest of not being left behind by their peers (who have all started to take an interest in romance), Shuji and Chise agree to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Though they try to do the typical things that couples do (like exchanging diaries and going on dates) Shuji is quite brash, while Chise is extremely sensitive. Shuji doesn't understand her apparent simplicity and oversensitivity until one day her secrets are revealed. While Shuji is out shopping with his friends in Sapporo, unknown bombers attack the city, reducing it to rubble and killing one of the boys. Separated from his friends by the chaos, Shuji finds himself alone in the rubble, save for a strange lone figure figure; Chise is standing in the midst of the destruction with giant mechanized wings protruding from her back. Tearfully she explains to Shuji that she didn't want anybody to know, but she is the ultimate weapon, and is no longer fully human. In a rare moment of empathy, Shuji comforts Chise and says that it's the kind of secret lover's share, so it's fine that they both know. Glad to have a confident, Chise opens up to Shuji, but is still extremely embarrassed and self conscious about her condition. Increasingly often she is forced to leave his side in order to fly off, to various cities around Japan, to defend their home. At first Shuji is understanding, but Chise's absences increase, and she is constantly hounded by Sergent Itou to come and fight. With hardly a moment to be alone with Chise, and going whole days without seeing her, Shuji begins to see his old flame, Fuyumi- an assistant teacher that Shuji had his first fling with during junior high. Though Shuji is extremely troubled by Chise's destructive role in the war, and sometimes enjoys the escape from the worry, he eventually refuses Fuyumi's advances. Missing her husband, who has left to fight in the war, Fuyumi continues to pursue Shuji because he neglects to give her a strong enough answer. When Chise returns once again, she admits she's feeling less and less human with every day. Shuji is angered by how quietly she obeys the army's orders, and her inability to comprehend the scale of damage she does. The two argue, and Shuji admits he spent the night with Fuyumi. Chise tells him they should go back to simply being classmates, and eventually disappears from school altogether. With Chise away so often, the town that was once sheltered from the war begins to see signs of rationing and bombing. Shuji's best friend, Atsushi, admits the war has made him feel that there's little point in continuing with school. He also confesses to harboring a deep crush on their mutual friend, Akemi, and wanting to enlist n the Japan Self-Defense Force (JSDF) to protect her. Though Shuji gives him a hysterical lecture about how much a solider must kill in order to survive (and the complete lack of romance in that), he can't tell Atsushi that he's witnessed it first hand (with Chise), so Atsushi remains unconvinced and enlists. Though Atsushi is young and without much training, things on the front are so dire that he's immediately thrown into a war zone, under veteran commander, Tetsu. It's not long before Atsushi realizes how dire the world's situation is, and the army's love-hate relationship with an entity they call "Chise", which has the power to destroy whole city's with a singular blast. Atsushi has only just heard of Chise, and never gets to make the connection between the name and his old friend, when she vaporizes the town in which he's fighting. Upon returning to base, Chise is an emotional wreck. She switches between a robotic facade capable of eradicating whole cities single-handedly, and a hurt and confused young girl unable to come to grips with the number of lives she's taken. Craving comfort from a person who understands, Chise spends the night with Commander Tetsu (who is, coincidentally, Fuyumi's husband). But Chise is too emotional to go through with sleeping with Tetsu, and the two are soon forced to part ways when another wave of attacks start. In the ensuing massive battle, Nearly everybody in the JSDF, including Tetsu, is killed. Meanwhile, a massive earthquake strikes Hokkaido, flattening much of it and mortally wounding Shuji's classmate, Akemi. With prompting from her little sister, Shuji visits Akemi, only to find her on her deathbed. With her last breath, she tells him that she loved him all along, and prompted Chise to ask him out simply because she was too shy. Shuji is incredibly moved by his friend's words, her senseless death, and through the abolition of their town, Shuji is struck with an initiative to do something meaningful. Back on the war front, Chise is with Tetsu when he dies, and agrees to fulfill his last wish: to exchange a final letter with his wife. Chise returns to Hokkaido and delivers Tetsu's letter to Fuyumi. Their town in ruin, and their class disbanded due to death and loss and grieving, Shuji and Chise find one another once more and, confessing their love, run away. Shuji does the honorable thing, and marries Chise; the two settle in a small fishing village some ways away. Shuji works at mending nets, and Chise takes a job as a waitress at the local ramen hut. But their married life won't last forever; Chise's human body is completely dependent on drugs provided to her by the military, and the small reserve she had with her is quickly running out. Though she and Shuji manage to outrun Sergent Itou and the remainder of the JSDF that choose to pursue Chise, she cannot escape her fate. Chise and Shuji make a final trip back to Hokkaido, where they consummate their relationship, and watch as the final massive earthquake and enemy attack strike simultaneously. With her last energy, striving to prove she is more than a weapon, and can protect, Chise defends Shuji, and he is left alive, in world now completely void of life. The only thing left for Shuji is the memory of his "little, clumsy girlfriend", Chise; a fantasy he falls into and consumes him. Review: What a strange, captivating story this was. It’s equal part teen romance/coming of age and sci-fi war. The fact that Chise’s changing body is the Ultimate Weapon is ripe with symbolism, and adds a completely new perspective to an otherwise familiar story. And, for once, this is an anime that’s completely story driven; no quirky characters, no crazy designs, and certainly no happy endings. Though Chise has a military arsenal within her (she’s quite obviously the personification of an H bomb), she is by no means all-powerful. Those around her destruction are vaporized, be them friend or foe. Entire cities are wiped out by her power, whether she likes it or not, because she’s built for destruction, and in the duality of a young girl’s mind, and the powerful force of a weapon, the weapon always wins. The way her power is treated is extremely realistic, which makes it believable in Saikano’s ultra-realistic war-torn world. I was most impressed by how well the impact of the war was shown on the student’s psyche. Though emotions run high –more so than normal high school kids- they also dissect the wooly subject of romantic “protection” versus the reality of killing another person. At the heart of this magical-girl-come-teen-drama is a very real war that’s brilliantly depicted in its slow consumption of Chise and Shuji’s small town; with rations, bombings, peers enlisting, and friends dying for the war, the school aspect of Saikano, which was initially the main theme and setting, become less important for the characters as well as the audience. I’m certain very profound parallels could be drawn between Chise’s transformations and the scale of the war, as well as many other brilliant thematic devices that are used throughout the series, but I’ll leave that to the essay writers. To put it simply, Saikano is provocative. It makes you look deeper and see all small things that become important when your way of life is threatened. It opens up the lives of teens and forces them to come to grips with very adult realizations about death, loss, and what loving a person really means. Unfortunately, as the series wraps up, it stated to feel like they were drilling the theme of Chise’s humanity a little too hard. She switches back and forth from her human and “weapon” selves so often that it starts to get a little tired. I really think this series could have ended with a perfect score, in a very snappy and poignant way, if it had been three episodes shorter and completely left out the “is it over? Are they dead? Let’s just leave the viewers with some vague philosophy” ending. Rates: 4/5 Tapes: Series with progressive plot on each.
	Sailor Moon: Usagi is a girl who just wants to be normal, but when she is confronted by a magical cat named Luna, her wish just won’t come true. She is told to transform into the soldier Sailor Moon and fight evil demons that appear from other planets, realms, and planes. Throughout the series Usagi makes many friends, many of which also become Sailor senshi and help her fight the many enemies that confront the team. The series is divided into the main story (where it originally ended) “Sailor Moon”, then “Sailor Moon R”, followed by “Sailor Moon S”, “Sailor Moon SuperS” and finally “Sailor Stars”. There are 200 episodes in total. Review: I’m a fan of the series, but only for the first part. I thought that Naoko should have ended it when the Sailor Senshi die defeating the Dark Kingdom. I’ve seen both the American version and original, but only like the original because it is not edited and the music score is beautiful. The first season was a very sad story, Usagi never does get her wish to lead a normal teenage life. She originally dies, along with her four friends, Rei, Minako, Makoto and Ami in order to defeat Metallia and save the world. Rates: (First Season) 5/5, (R)1/5, (S)2/5, (SuperS)3/5, (Stars)3/5 Tapes: 200 episodes with different missions on each. In this case their are milestones, episodes that have more to do with the plot than just killing monsters. There are only about 70 of these episodes. Note: The movies each summarize the series from which they are taken. They are different stories but review with the issues dealt with in the season they represent. For summaries of each episode, see the Sailor Moon Section.
	Sailor Moon R Movie, A Promise to a Rose: When Mamoru was a child, his parents were killed in a car accident, leaving him completely alone. While at the hospital, he met another young boy who was without family. This boy was Fiore. However, Fiore was not the human that he disguised himself as, but an alien. Not long after meeting Mamoru, Fiore left Earth. But before he departed, Mamoru gave Fiore a rose. Touched by the sentiment, Fiore promised to return with the rarest flower for Mamoru. A decade later, Fiore keeps his promise. Though, by Fiore's recollection, not much time has passed, Mamoru barely remembers him. Fiore is distraught by Mamoru's lack of friendly greeting, and is angered that Mamoru is dating Usagi. He immediately hates the girl and attacks her and the senshi. Though Sailor Moon, Mercury, Mars, Jupiter and Venus defeat Fiore's plant monster, Luna and Artemis realize there is a greater evil at work: the Kisenian flower is controlling Fiore. This bloom is an evil parasite that sucks energy from her host and uses them for her own wicked designs. Meanwhile, an asteroid full of the energy draining flowers is approaching earth. It won't collide with the planet, but will pollinate it with the Kisenians, enslaving all humanity. The senshi confront Fiore again, but there is no reasoning with him. Even Mamoru can't break the Kisenian's sway. In a rage at the senshi's interference and Mamoru's love for Usagi, Fiore attempts to kill her. However, Mamoru takes the hit, and is badly wounded. Alarmed that he nearly killed Mamoru, Fiore retreats to his asteroid, taking Mamoru with him. Intent on saving both Mamoru and the Earth, the senshi travel to the asteroid and battle with the countless flower demons that inhabit it. But there are far too many, and the senshi are overpowered. Fiore again attempts to kill Usagi, but Mamoru recovers in time to rescue her. However, this time Mamoru attempts to kill Fiore, which snaps him momentarily out of the Kisenian’s power. All the flowers on the asteroid die. Alarmed that her plain is failing, the Kisenian redoubles her efforts to control Fiore. They reroute the asteroid to hit earth. Incensed by the threat to her home, Usagi uses the ginzuishou’s power to reroute the asteroid. Fiore attempts to grab the gem, but is thrown into Usagi’s memories, and sees that the rose given to him by Mamoru was actually a gift from Usagi. Mortified by what he’s done, Fiore stops fighting and the Kisenian disintegrates. However, the asteroid is still hurtling toward Earth. Though it costs her a massive amount of energy, Usagi uses the ginzuishou’s power to reroute the asteroid. With the help of the senshi and Mamoru, the Earth is saved. However, the strain on Usagi was too much. The ginzuishou shatters, killing her instantly. The senshi and Mamoru are frantic over her loss, but Fiore appears, this time as a friend. He gives his energy to Mamoru in order to resurrect Usagi. The ginzuishou is restored, and the senshi are reunited. Review: I would recommend this anime mainly to ravenous fans of the Sailor Moon series, and those who have never seen it before (but have a good sense of humor). Why the two extremes? A Promise to a Rose revisits a lot of the themes covered in the first season of Sailor Moon: Usagi's dependence on others, her pain when Mamoru is lost, and the ultimate power of the senshi's combined attacks. It's a lot of repetition for somebody who only vaguely enjoyed the series the first time through. As a movie itself, Promise to a Rose is amazingly well paced. It develops the characters well enough that those not familiar with the series can understand their motives, but still moves quickly. With an amazing musical score, it makes for a nice quick watch. But be prepared for the cheese factor. It's emotional, it's girls dealing with first-time love, and it's embarrassingly melodramatic. But come on, the story is about flowers and pretty soldiers- what the hell did you expect? Rates: 4.5/5 Tapes: One Movie.
	Sailor Moon Super Movie, Hearts in Ice: Oozora Kakeru has always been a dreamer. Despite his genius in many scientific fields, he has a romanticized view of astronomy that makes his colleagues question Kakeru’s ability as a scientist. The one person who still supports him is Nayotake Himeko, who is in love with Kakeru. However, he has trouble returning her sentiments, feeling that she is constantly judging him for his beliefs in Pricess Kaguya, the moon goddess. Himeko wants nothing more than for Kakeru to succeed, and suggests he abandon his childish beliefs. Kakeru takes great offence. Though he loves Himeko, he’s also bitter that she has the opportunity to visit the moon with Nasa, while he cannot due to his weak physical condition. This illness grows steadily worse after Kakeru finds a piece of a comet, and keeps it at his bedside. Meanwhile, the sailor senshi are on winter break, oblivious of the comet that’s approaching Earth. Feeling a cold coming on, Luna leaves the group of girls for home, but collapses, and is saved by Kakeru, who takes care of her. While staying in his apartment, Luna witnesses one of Kakeru and Himeko’s frequent fights. They argue over the nature of a comet which Kakeru spotted, but Nasa did not report. Kakeru pointedly asks Himeko to leave, since she questions the validity of his findings, simply because he believes in mystical space beings. Luna, however, rushes back to the senshi to tell them about the comet. They research it, and find a similar occurrence happened several years ago. The “Silver Crystal’s Light” saved everybody. No sooner have they caught wind of the strange comet then snow demons begin attacking citizens. Usagi follows Luna back to Kakeru’s house, where he is now alone; with Himeko having left with the Nasa flight to the moon, Kakeru’s condition has worsened. But the mystery to his illness is soon revealed, as the Snow Queen herself appears and tells Kakeru that she is going to freeze Earth completely in revenge for being defeated the last time she visited. She drains more of his energy with the comet fragment, and disappears. Desperate to save Kakeru, Luna begs Usagi to confront the Snow Queen. Luna is stricken that she can’t do anything to help, that she is just a cat, and can never be Kakeru’s Princess Kaguya. Moved by Luna’s pain, Usagi and the senshi seek out the Snow Queen. Combining their power with the ginzuishou’s, the senshi able to harness the crystal’s power without using up all Usagi's energy. As the last ice creature melts, Usagi prays for Luna’s wish to come true. Meanwhile, Luna is at Kakeru’s side. He collapsed into the snow unconscious, and Luna bemoaned her inability to help. However, just as Usagi makes her wish, Luna transforms into a human. Kakeru awakes, and asks who she is. Luna replies that she is Princess Kaguya, and grants Kakeru’s wish to visit the moon. As they fly through space, Himeko catches a glimpse of Luna’s shining aura, and begins to believe that Kakeru’s Princess could be real. With the Snow Queen defeated, Kakeru regained his strength, and met Himeko when she returned from space, this time feeling honestly happy for her. Review: Of all the Sailor Moon movies, this is, in my opinion, the worst. The animation is sub-par, the music is unoriginal, and the plot line is just… Weird. Tuxedo Mask disguised as Santa? Cross-species romance? A scientist who runs out during a meteor shower and keeps a piece of possibly radioactive debris from an unidentified comet? And worst of all, feeding cats sugar candy? Luna has some colossal gas to look forward to. The stupidity of the characters in this movie was only rivaled by the sheer number of them. I know it’s great fun to get everybody’s favorite soldier in there, but group shots were getting ridiculous. Sailor Moon, Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, Venus, Neptune, Pluto, Uranus, Chibi-Moon, and Tuxedo Kamen all manage to stand around uselessly as the city is frozen solid. Good job, saviors. But of course, in the end, good prevails, and nature videos are enjoyed by all. Wait, no; everybody trips out and wonders what the hell just went on with Luna transforming into a human and rocketing into space with a dying man, only to nearly take out a Nasa rocket on their return descent. Sadly, Hearts in Ice was a half baked scheme that never had a chance. The demographic for this anime is simply too small: furries who enjoy unimaginative plots and magical girls. Well, for that tiny armpit of fandom, we salute you, and your barnyard fun. Rates: 1/5 Tapes: One Movie.
	Sailor Moon SuperS Movie, Black Dream Hole: Lady Vadiane wishes to create a vortex of eternal happiness by collecting the dream energy of children. She kidnaps Earth's slumbering youth and ensnares them with a permanent sleep using the dream coffins in her abode, Marzipan castle. The senshi become aware of this plot when Usagi awakes to find Chibi-Usa in a trance, leaving the house during the dead of night to join legions of hypnotized children. The enchantment is caused by the Marzipan castle Fairies, who play flutes that lead the children onto ships and return them to Lady Vadiane. Though the senshi fight valiantly, Lady Vadiane is especially interested in Chibi-Usa's powerful energy, and captures her. At a loss of how to follow, the senshi accept Peruru's help. Though he is one of the Marzipan faeries, Peruru has fallen in love with Chibi-Usa, and wishes to rescue her from Vadiane. However, in the short time she's leeched off Chibi-Usa's dreams, Vadiane is able to extend the black dream hole to enormous size, and merges with it, taking Chibi-Usa with her. With Peruru's help, the senshi secure a ship and arrive at Marzipan castle, where they team up with the Outer Senshi and fight the Marzipan Fairies. Parting from her fellow soldiers, Sailor Moon enters the black dream hole fearlessly. She only wishes to save Chibi-Usa. Wading through the darkness, she finally finds the youngest senshi, encased in a dream coffin. Escaping from the enchantment and rescuing Chibi-Usa as well, Sailor Moon and Sailor Chibi-Moon combine their powers and defeat Lady Vadiane. Back on Earth, Chibi-Usa bids goodbye to Peruru, and thanks him for his help. She sends him off with a sweet kiss on the cheek. Review: Though I'm not a fan of Chibi-Usa, she was actually bearable in this installment of Sailor Moon. All the characters were well placed, and though all the inner and outer senshi were included, it didn't seem overly crowded or forced. The art and animation were also impressive. This is definitely the most polished of all the Sailor Moon movies. With a sharp new design, flawless movement, and the ingenious design (particularly of the Marzipan faeries and their ships), any fan will enjoy the eye candy. Anybody that doesn’t have outright bias against the Sailor Moon series will enjoy this movie; it’s a cute little tale that combines fairy mythology, adventure, and cute girls in short skirts. Rates: 3.5/5 Tapes: One Movie.
	Sailor and the Seven Ballz: Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen are getting married and invite all their friends to their mansion. But as the guests arrive, debauchery reigns free in the house, much to the delight of Tuxedo Kamen (and his elaborate system of cameras). But things go from sexy to odd when one of Goku’s dragon balls escapes and causes Sailor Moon to grow a giant member, which she fails to hide from her prospective husband. Luckily, he’s more turned on than ever! Review: Usually I’m pretty lax on hentai when it comes to judging animation quality; in fact, I’m not harsh on any anime. But to even call Sailor and the 7 Ballz “anime” is a stretch: it’s not animated and it’s not Japanese. Eight bit Nintendo sprites have more frames than the characters in this flick, the designs don’t even attempt to stay on model (to the point of whole PIECES of people disappearing and reappearing at random), and the nearest this shitty production has come to Japan is two Japanese voice actors that supply lines for nearly two dozen characters (the “Japanese language with English subtitles” is obviously to trick you into renting it, but don’t be fooled. I’ve seen more erotic things on XXX Anime banners with only two poses of animation). Granted, the cover art is deceptive enough to lure you into thinking this could truly be a Sailor Moon porn; but from the moment it starts, it becomes painfully obvious that the animator (the quality makes me doubt there was more than one) had not only never seen a woman naked, but hadn’t seen a man naked either. I’m blown away that ANYBODY could be this clueless as to how the human body works: men grow cocks out of their navels, women leak juices from the general vicinity of their crotch –but it ends up closer to their stomachs, boobs pulsate with arousal, and the piece de resistance: male ejaculate simply appears and disappears like a magical shooting star. Why would a blind celibate child make a porno?! Seriously, I don’t believe anybody else could get EVERYTHING about sex SO WRONG. The only way this is watchable is as a farce, and even then, there will be moments when you stop laughing at the shitiness, and become overwhelmed by it, exclaiming, WTFBBQ, as Sailor Moon blinks and twitches and melts like sex on speed and mushrooms. In the end, I could have just left Sailor and the 7 Ballz alone, not reviewed it (because it’s clearly not anime, it’s hideous fanart strung together to “animate”), but I had to rape it for all to see for one reason: IT STEALS FOOTAGE FROM REAL HENTAI. You may not be enough of a pervert to recognize every time they do this, but be assured, whenever a scene looks half descent, or features ANY sort of fluid animation, it’s ripped off, frame by frame, and the character’s heads are pasted on. This, in my books, is unforgivable. So, in compensation for their blatant thievery and destruction of art, if you do feel the need to watch this (much like the need to google search “deformed babies” at least once), download it. There’s a crappy “anti-download” joke in their anyway, so you may as well do it. Rates: 0/5 Tapes: One Piece of Ripoff Garbage.
	Note: Requiem is the second feature film to follow the original anime series, Saiyuki. Saiyuki Requiem: Years ago, the Buddhist monk Sanzo, was sent on a sacred mission to destroy the demons plaguing Shangri-la. Though Sanzo is anti-social, the higher council ordered him to be accompanied on his journey. His team consists of Goku, a young and energetic fighter, Gojyo, a horny half-demon, and Hakkai, an analytical and powerful man who became a demon after slaughtering one thousand monsters. As they travel through the forest, searching for lodgings for the night, Sanzo and his group notice a young woman being chased by a demon bird. They manage to dispatch the beast, much to the relief of the woman, who introduces herself as Houran. She insists that Sanzo, Goku, Gojyo and Hakkai stay at her master's house for the night, telling them they will be no bother, since the only remaining inhabitants of the manor are herself and Go Dougan. The boys quickly agree, despite Sanzo's reticence to trust others. However, once Sanzo and his friends have eaten and settled in for the night, strange things start happening. The boys fight bloodthirsty doppelgangers of each other and are forced to confront illusions of their deepest fears. Gojyo forces the full story out of Houran, who attacks him without provocation. He keeps her at bay, and demands why she tried to kill him. She explains that she is at her master's bidding, and he wished for her to kill Gojyo, the half-demon, because she too is a half breed. Struck by how saddened she is, Gojyo forgives her, but is puzzled how she came to be. Houran quickly explains that the manor and surrounding forest used to be home to thousands of demons that made up her family and subjects. Her father was a great demon king, who fell in love with a human woman. They lived without prejudice until Go Dougan manipulated his way into the court, and killed the king in his sleep. He then slaughtered every demon that crossed his path until he had bathed in the blood of one thousand demons, and like Hakkai, became a demon himself. Go Dougan only kept Houran alive to serve him. Meanwhile, Sanzo investigates the strange occurrences for himself. He knows the master of the house is responsible, but can't place the man. As they fight amid a torrent of paper airplanes, which Go Dougan uses to manifest his monsters, Sanzo begins to remember his past student. Sanzo once had an apprentice who was very eager to serve and follow him. However, he never allowed this boy to accompany him on demon hunts, instead choosing to take Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai, as the high priests had ordered. Over the years, feeling neglected, Sanzo's apprentice became enraged, jealous, and mad. Finally recognizing Go Dougan as his old pupil, Sanzo is unimpressed with the boy's reasons for becoming a demon. Sanzo proves to Dougan that regardless of how many monsters he slays, or spells he learns, he cannot defeat his master. Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai, Sanzo attack Dougan. However, the fatal blow is made by Houran, who sacrifices herself to stop Dougan and avenge her people. With the demon forest and Go Dougan's bloody reign at an end, Sanzo and his crew continue on, hunting down the monsters that plague the land. Review: Mmm, a deliciously standard shoujou film. Enter the pretty boys, gratuitous male shower scenes, angsty boy-on-boy bonding, sudden loss of shirts- and to top it all, the only female character dies. Perfect. The stage is ripe for bumlove. Cue the return of a stereotypical obsessive ex-student that loves his master (that would be “love” in the back-alley boot-knocking sense), and has a Big Mac attack to win Sanzo’s heart. Through I do love this sort of tripe, the use of bad 3D BGs really put me off. It was ridiculously unnecessary. There wasn’t anything fancy that called specifically for computer graphics, they just threw in terribly animated waves during the final battle. I suspect this was solely to PISS ME OFF and ruin the boy love with distracting water FX. Thankfully, the traditional animation was quite good, as were the designs. The only problem was the demon crew and Sanzo’s boys looked way too similar, and in the dim “mood lighting” that obscured Saiyuki Requiem, it took a few good looks to tell who the hell was talking. My last nitpick is the soundtrack. This, unfortunately, is the failing part of the feature. The music was WAY too overwrought. The minute somebody starts remembering their past, BLARING PIANO SOLO deafened us all- and you may as well hit that mute button two minutes before the final scene, because the ending crescendo is enough to make your head explode. Finally, I must add my standard warning to not watch the dub. Though I say that for nearly every anime- this time I fucking mean it, because the god damn dub adds so much shitty profanity it’ll fuck you up the ass with a holy lance of cockthirsty justice! Rates: 3/5 Tapes: One Movie.
	Samurai Champloo: Fuu is a young girl who recently lost her mother. She lived her entire life believing her father was dead, but as her mother passed on, she revealed to Fuu that her father was alive. Too afraid to start the journey to find her father, Fuu takes up a job at a local tea house, where she is accosted by the magistrate’s son. He attacks her, but is intercepted by a strange fighter: a rough looking man whose fighting style is more akin to break dancing than kendo. He is Mugen, and saves Fuu not for honor, but simply to pick a fight. Attracted by the strange but powerful skills of Mugen, Jin, a more traditional samurai, challenges the rogue. Mugen accepts, excited to find a worthy adversary. However, in the massive and broad-sweeping duel that ensues, the tea house is burned to the ground, and the magistrate’s son is killed. Mugen and Jin are promptly imprisoned. Taking action, Fuu distracts the city guards and frees the two samurai, on the condition that they help her search for “the samurai that smells of sunflowers”: her father. Mugen and Jin are understandably reticent to agree. But banking on their lust for killing one-another, Fuu makes a deal with the two men: she will flip a coin- if it lands on heads, they can kill each other. If it’s tails, they will accompany her for her journey, and not fight until she has met her father. She announces tails, and the three head off together, traveling through the turbulent Edo period of Japanese history. They encounter disenchanted assassins working for an oppressive government, Christianity beginning to convert entire towns (that are in turn slaughtered by the ultra-traditional magistrate), and the growing Western influence on Japan’s culture. Through all this turmoil, Fuu, Mugen and Jin continue toward their goal, never dwelling long in one city. With each new lead on the Fuu’s father, the three move on, living day by day in a constant struggle for food, their lives, and to solve the mystery of the Sunflower Samurai. As they travel together, the three companions learn more about each-other, sometimes by meeting old comrades, and other times simply by opening up to one another. Jin’s solidarity and stoic persona can be attributed by a lonely childhood; he was a precocious student of kendo, and became so deadly with a sword that none of his classmates would duel with him. Hearing of his skill, the magistrate’s lead assassin told Jin’s sensei to kill him. However, in that duel, Jin was the victor. He has been chased by the remaining members of the dojo ever since being blamed for viciously killing his master. Mugen also meets face-on with his past when he returns to the coast, and finds the ship-looting pirates he once associated with. Raised with these men and women on an island of convicts and thieves, Mugen had to scrap to stay alive since he was a young boy. However, he gave up the pillaging lifestyle in order to pursue fighting, and finding an opponent as deadly as himself. He continues to pursue this goal, keeping in tow with Fuu and Jin, living solely to complete his duel with the latter. As the series draws to a close, and Fuu has finally located her father, the assassin that ordered Jin’s death comes back into play. He challenges both Jin and Mugen. Fuu is left out of the fray, as she leaves on a solitary journey to meet her father and make him understand the pain he caused her. Meanwhile, one of Mugen’s forgotten enemies also comes to call. A brotherhood of thieves he once attacked sent their remaining members to kill Mugen. To lure him away from the battle with Jin’s assassin, the brotherhood captures Fuu. Jin is left to battle the assassin, and Mugen is entered into a massive brawl between himself and the brotherhood. Fuu is freed, and at last makes peace with her father- just in time to see him killed by Jin’s assassin. Believing Jin to be dead, and just seeing her father slaughtered, Fuu runs for her life, with the assassin closely in tow. She’s chased to a cliff’s edge, where Mugen is below, still battling the brotherhood. As luck would have it, Jin lives, and takes a fatal hit in order to kill his assassin. The monstrous battle ends in an explosion, as the last standing brother tries to eliminate Mugen with a massive dynamite blast. Despite being in the centre of the explosion, being shot, and stabbed, the two samurai survive to attempt battle against one another. With Fuu’s mission complete Mugen and Jin finally square off. Both are incredibly weak, and injured to the point of death. They exchange one blow, and collapse, lamenting their pathetic end. However, Mugen, Jin and Fuu all live to see another day. The two samurai recover, and the three comrades part ways. Before they take their separate paths, Fuu thanks the two men for their help, and admits that she lied. That coin she tossed to decide their fate? It was actually heads. Review: With a mix of historical drama, samurai dueling, and a dash of buddy flick, Samurai Champloo is a masterful piece of storytelling. The animation has a fresh new style, featuring flawless design and beautifully choreographed fight scenes. The only downfall is that the first episode clearly had the largest budget, and boasts feature-quality animation. This polished look diminishes in the later episodes, which sets the viewer up for a disappointment, as one comes to expect the first episode's quality throughout the story. However, the later animation is still above par. The characters move with a wonderful fluidity, and act masterfully. The dynamic between the three protagonists, Fuu, Jin, and Mugen, is a wonderful concept; with two men and a younger girl, there isn't any contrived love plot. Any romantic interests are purely episodic side-lines, and are handled in a way that isn't over-dramatized. My compliments for the character dynamic and realistic interaction are numerous: Samurai Champloo is a definite must see. With the three distinct personalities of Jin, the stoic samurai, Mugen, a rogue boisterous fighter, and Fuu, the inventive young girl (who, I might add, isn't the stereotypical damsel in distress), Samurai Champloo offers something to every viewer. The story is told with several cliff hangers that will keep you watching one episode after another; I guarantee this twenty-six part feature will be over before you know it, leaving you hoping for a sequel as much as I do. Rates: 4.5/5 Tapes: Series with progressive plot on each.
	Samurai Fantasy: The son of a wealthy family has been kidnapped, and the village is up in arms. Meanwhile, Kenshin has been wandering the countryside and stumbles upon a young man bathing in a spring. The man catches sight of him, and, embarrassed, Kenshin admits he's just looking for a school at which to train. The man is amicable and shows Kenshin around his own dojo. The two bond, but before they can really get close, Ryu and his gang of angry samurai interrupt and mock them. Later, Kenshin can't sleep, as he's plagued with fantasies of his new friend. He gets up, in attempt to find him, but instead catches Ryu raping another member of the school. And, after being caught, he too is subjected to Ryu's lust. But all the noise alerts Kenshin's new friend, who comes to his aid, helps clean him up and shows him what real love is. Afterward, Kenshin is troubled, because he realizes that his lover is the same ninja that kidnapped the aristocrat's son. The two square off, and though Kenshin has an opening to kill the kidnapper, he can't slay the man he loves, and instead, lets him go. Review: Oh god, avert your eyes! Our friend from Sailor and the Seven Balls is back! And this time, he's bringing yaoi. Too bad it's the same fanart cobbled together by blind monkeys. In case you missed the memo, Samurai Fantasy isn't an anime, it's a blindingly terrible fan piece that's drawn, animated and voiced by a singular Australian man. Even after blatantly STEALING characters from Rurouni Kenshin and Street Fighter, this thing still sucks more nuts than a bag of squirrels. You'd think, using characters that were ALREADY CREATED that the designs would be a bit better, but no. The whole thing was like looking back on that very first piece of anime fanart you drew, and still makes you cringe to this day. You get the point- the art is shit and the animation is a jerky incomprehensible mess with seizure-tastic blink cycles and characters sliding around like mad. But what is up with the PACING? I don't mean that the story wasn't ~unfolded well~, I mean there are HUGE GAPS of silence where the characters just stand there and twitch. The ONLY reason this thing is a half hour is because every two seconds there are these EXCRUCIATING pauses like they left the camera capturing and went off for a sandwich. COME BACK. We all want to see what happens NEXT in Kenshin's crazy adventure being buggered by Ryu. Oh, and the buggery. This is the first time I wished that an anime was censored, because the wangs in this are fucking TERRIFYING. They're like a baby's arm holding an apple, adorned with a SINGLE testicle. Wait- how is it this guy didn't know what a cock and balls looked like? NOW I'm really confused. Then, with the fantastic line “you can't believe how much your ass belongs to me”, we're treated to sex battling. Basically Ryu takes a running jump across the room INTO Kenshin's ass... then proceeds to helicopter and sea-saw atop him. Realistically, he would have snapped his cock in two, but even in the comic world, how is Kenshin ENJOYING this and not BLEEDING PROFUSELY from his anus?! Luckily his savior, the nameless blue-haired guy, comes along to save him, and tells him the most amazing thing “only true love can make you lose your virginity”. Wow. Wow. That's POETIC. But Mr Blue Hair isn't done- he follows up with some more romance, “let me clean that spunk off yer body”. I threw up a little in my mouth, but apparently Kenshin was pretty down with it, and so commenced the most AKWARD scene in the whole thing. Suddenly, the super-fake “YOU. make... ME so CRAZY” stilted porn lines die down, and are replaced with awkwardly realistic moaning. Aw, dude. No, did you just fap into the mic for this scene? NO. Oh, but it doesn't end with fucked up art, horrifying sex and dialog done on a Fisher Price recorder- they also try to add HUMOR. Gems like “I didn't write the screen play” and Kenshin mugging for the camera are bad enough, but -brace yourself- the Village People make a cameo.. TWICE. Complete with a Casio Keyboard version of YMCA. Oh, ha ha, I get it, it's a GAY joke. Very clever, assface. Then, inexplicably, after proclaiming love for Mr Blue Hair, it all wraps up with Kenshin surrounded by beautiful women. ... OVERCOMPENSATION. But wait! It's not over. During the credits you're treated to a village people gang bang, all culminating in Ryu getting bukakked. Ugh. Thats' it. Done. Rates: 0/5 Tapes: One Movie.
	Scrapped Princess: Thousands of years ago, contemporary man nearly perished, pushed to the brink of extinction by in-fighting. During this battle, a young woman by the name of Mauser was given a choice: to let humanity continue to evolve and war amongst themselves, or to seal humans and stop evolution, creating peace. Wanting nothing more than to save her family, she chose the safety of containing Earth, arresting them in Medieval life. The world lived peacefully for many years, governed silently by the powerful relics of the old world. The legacy of history only lived on in names: Mauser became the faith of the people, followed by all those who wished to be accepted. Ignorant of how their peaceful lives came to be, the King and Queen of the land bore twins: Forcis and Pacifica. However, the Mauser priests were alarmed by this birth, believing that young Pacifica was born under a cursed star. Coercing the King and Queen, the Mauser followers attempted to have Pacifica assassinated before she was even named. However, she survived, and was raised by the Casull family. Together with her surrogate mother, father, brother Shannon, and sister Raquel, Pacifica lived in blissful ignorance of her danger for fifteen years. But as she approached her sixteenth birthday, a date the Mauser followers believed to be the end of the world, Pacifica's life was once again put in peril. Her surrogate mother and father sacrificed themselves to save her, leaving Pacifica in the care of her siblings. The three fled their small home-town, wanting to avoid bringing the Royal Army's wrath on anybody they cared about. All three were aware that Pacifica was the rumored "Scrapped Princess", or "Providence Breaker", said to be the poison that would destroy Earth. However, Shannon and Raquel, knowing Pacifica to be gentle and care-free, have trouble believing their little sister could be any threat. Indeed, all who meet Pacifica grow to love and accept her. But the Royal Army and Mauser affiliates continue to make attempts on Pacifica's life. To add to the confusion, huge beasts called "Peacemakers" begin attacking Shannon, Raquel and Pacifica. Though she is usually able to defeat enemies easily using her magic, Raquel's spells have no effect on the Peacemakers. Luckily, a weapon, personifying itself as a young girl named Zefiris, appears to Shannon and tells him he's a D-Knight. She allows him to wield her power, and fight the Peace Makers on equal terms using the ancient power of the dragoon. Through Zefiris, Pacifica learns that the Peacemakers and Dragoons were weapons of the old world, left behind after the fall of man. They were instituted to keep order by manipulating humans. But their power has no effect on Pacifica. Fearing a human that could not be influenced by their magic, the Peacemakers began the Prophecy of the Scrapped Princess, intending to destroy the one person who would have a will against them. The Mauser faith and Royal Army were coerced to participate in this myth, all to remove the threat to the Peacemakers. As the hours to Pacifica's 16th birthday count down, the Peacemakers become increasingly active and obvious. They destroy whole cities, hoping to incite the public against Pacifica, and have her killed. But, under the watchful eye of her friends and siblings, Pacifica stays safe. However, the Peacemakers revealing themselves had an unforeseen effect; realizing the Peacemaker's true power to influence man, the Royal Army attempts to make a deal with them, to rule the world together. Of course, having no human emotion of want or greed, the Peacemakers laugh at this offer, and continue their destruction of the world. In the final day before the Scrapped Princess prophecy is to begin, Pacifica's blood-brother, Forcis, sends a Royal Messenger, informing Pacifica that he wants to meet her before the world could potentially end. Pacifica agrees, and is happy to finally meet her kin. But Forcis had ulterior motives, and stabs Pacifica. Although it pained him to kill his own sister, he wanted to protect his kingdom. But, though she appears to die on Earth, Pacifica's soul is transported to the spiritual plain, where she meets Mauser's ghost. Mauser explains that humans need not live in a glass bubble any longer; it's Pacifica's choice to make. Pacifica thinks on it, taking the lives of her brother and sister into consideration, and decides that it's not fair to limit the decisions that humans can make. They should be free. Back on Earth, the cataclysm ends, and peace once again washes over the land. Forcis takes the throne, ruling justly, and Pacifica settles in with her siblings, finally living a simple, quiet life. When asked if she's happy, Pacifica replies that she doesn't have to answer that quite yet, that though much has happened to her, her life is still a long road ahead of her. Review: Like any questing plot, it takes a little while to really start enjoying Scrapped Princess, particularly when Pacifica is the stereotypical whiney, useless, female lead. But don't worry, things move quickly, sceneries change, new characters are introduced, and the protagonists start developing. Hell, even Pacifica became bearable. She grew on me- even with her sudden bouts of amnesia, spastic joy, and moments of emo-insight. But for all the quirky personalities encountered, what impressed me most was the flow of Scrapped Princess. There were absolutely no filler episodes, yet the plot wasn't rushed in the least. It developed and opened up in an absolutely captivating way. I sped through the episodes so easily; it was impossible not to be drawn in. This is truly one of the few episodic anime that managed to keep my interest 100%. However, though there were no pointless episodes, I did find certain parts to drag- particularly when the Beast Princess explains humanity's back story. Though it was only a third of an episode, it was so convoluted and technical it seemed to go on forever. Luckily, Pacifica didn't understand either, and things were explained in much simpler terms. I suppose doing this was crucial to exposing all the details the characters had learned, but I stand by the fact I didn't sign up for a lecture. I'd really like to get in to how each character had their own charm, but that would take up pages, since there are so many. From the Royal Guards with only a few lines, to Raquel and Shannon, everybody has a believable, three-dimensional personality. And not only that, but the way the characters interacted was so well done; it's subtle, just as it is in real life. Even though there isn't any focus put on the secondary characters, you can see friendships developing between them in the background. Just as the writing was splendid, the designs didn't disappoint. The pseudo-Medieval dress and scenery was very well done. I was also pleased to see costume changes for the characters, despite this being such a short series. Although the animation was nothing to write home about, it certainly didn't detract from the plot. It was run-of-the-mill series budget, and they used it very well. Finally, I have to commend the sound track as well. Scrapped Princess really was the whole package. The musical score was superbly done, and fit with every scene, like the icing on the cake, bringing out the emotion, even when characters were silent. Scrapped Princess really was a journey- I went into it sure I would hate it, because so many people swore it was "the sort of thing I liked" (which generally guarantees I'll hate it), and initially, I wasn't being swayed. But before I knew it, I wasn't missing a beat to queue up the next episode, and see how it would all end. And the best part? It actually ended. Normally. The veteran anime-watchers know why this is something to dazzle at, and dazzle I shall. Rates: 4.5/5 Tapes: Series with progressive plot on each.
	Seikimatsu Darling: Ogata Kosaku has been in love with his colleague, Takasugi Yochiro, for some time, but hasn't had the courage to say anything. The problem is, keeping everything bottled up inside, Ogata is plagued by strange dreams, wherein Takasugi always gets the better of him. At a breaking point, Ogata approaches his friend, Shikibu, who he's known since middle school (and has always been there for Ogata... To mock him roundly). Though Ogata spills all his thoughts, his friend takes it all flippantly, and taunts him more than he gives advice, leaving Ogata to his own devices. Strangely enough, the following day, Takasugi calls Ogata, and invites him to spend a weekend with him at the hot springs. Ogata accepts, but is secretly terrified, so he begs Shikibu to come along to provide support. Shikibu mocks him for being scared, and says he's definitely not coming. The two brawl childishly until Tsutsumi (Shikibu's light-hearted lover) interjects that he wouldn't mind going at all, and that they'll certainly join Ogata and Takasugi on their trip. Despite Shikibu's fuming, the four set out to the reclusive hot springs. While basking in the relaxation, Ogata and Takasugi grow closer, both admitting they've been terribly nervous around the other, and have been trying to show off way too much. Relieved, and back down to Earth, they finally admit their love for one-another. Review: The art in this is TERRIBLE. Indescribably bad- BUT, they disguise it well by making the characters flip out into super-deformed mode every fifteen seconds. It's hard to define this OAV, as it tries to be comedic and romantic at the same time, but the two never manage to blend together. The comedy is HILLARIOUS. Bring a change of drawers, because you will wet yourself laughing. The fights between Shikibu and Ogata are fucking comedy GOLD. I can’t do them justice in text, so you’ll have to watch this, if only to have a good chuckle. On the other hand, the romantic parts are GOD AWFUL. If Ogata said Takasugi's name any more times, he wouldn't have any other dialogue. Also, once they start saying "I love you", they don't stop! It's really, really awkward and weird. Men do not act this way; not even flamingly gay men. And to top it all, for two people who proclaim undying romance every five seconds, they never do duel wangs- they just make erection jokes worse than mine. Rates: 2.5/5 Tapes: One Movie.
	Sensitive Pornograph: Seiji Yamada is a budding manga artist, and has been solely focused on his career for a long time. One evening, he's dropping of his newest work at his distributor, and meets a young man who professes to be one of his fans. He asks Seiji out for tea, who accepts, flattered. It's then that the fan introduces himself as Sono Hanasaki, the renowned author of adult comics. Seiji is shocked, both at having met somebody else in the industry, but also by Sono's notoriety; Seiji has read his comics since high school. After the initial shock has worn off, the two get along well, and Sono invites Seiji to go out for a drink. The two get completely sloshed, and return to Sono's house, where the tension between them finally breaks and Seiji makes a move on his new friend. The following morning, after a night of passion, Seiji awakes to some confusion- not only did he sleep with somebody he just met, but a man to boot. On a whim, he asks Sono out, and he accepts. However, suspicion creeps in to Seiji's otherwise innocent world when his friend, Yoshimi, comes over to help clean up Seiji's latest panels. Yoshimi finds one of Sono's comics, and gossips about what he's heard in the industry about "her"- that she's a slut, and will sleep with anybody who asks. Terrified that it's the truth, Seiji quickly confronts Sono, who confesses that he's been a playboy in the past. However, his attraction to Seiji is different, because he fell in love with his work first. Seiji is mollified, and the two confess that they love each other. Story Two: Ueno is a kind college student who works a part-time job as a pet sitter. He gets a call to take care of a man's rabbit, Aki-chan. Upon entering the house, he doesn't find any animals. He does, however, find a man bound and gagged in a closet. Releasing the man, he asks if he's okay, and if it's an emergency. Aki-chan confesses that he's the "pet" that needs to be taken care of, and his master will be angry if Ueno doesn't comply. Though Ueno enjoys Aki's ministrations, he's disturbed by the whole situation, and, after asking again if Aki will be okay, runs out of the house. Afterward, inspired by Ueno's kindness, Aki leaves his master, despite being thoroughly beat for the disobedience. The following day at school, Ueno is mulling over the previous night's events, when he's joined at his table. To his surprise, it's Aki, who has re-enrolled at the school after being freed. He asks Ueno out to lunch, who accepts. Review: This is one of the newer yaoi out there- uncensored, very clean look, good (modern) designs, and well animated. This is probably the closest anime has ever come to portraying anatomically correct men’s bodies- no glowing mysterious nether-regions, bodies that don’t leave you wondering if you just had a lesbian encounter, and a complete absence of floor-length hair. It's obviously aimed at an older audience, as the characters are adults, and their relationships are fairly uncomplicated (read: no dramalama following you home), and much of the humor centers around career jokes. That said, the stories are very much plot-what-plot; particularly in the first installment. It's about 50% character introduction and 50% hardcore sex scenes (okay, I’m being generous, maybe 40/60). But if that's what you're after you'll be hard pressed to find a better animated companion on your lonely nights. So crack open that Chef Lonelyheart's dinner for one, and settle in, because I highly recommend Sensitive Pornograph. Rates: 4/5 Tapes: Two Episode OAV.
	Serial Experiments Lain: Lain is an introverted junior high student with few social skills and fewer friends and is faced by a family that doesn’t relate with her. Shortly after Lain’s introduction, Yomoda Chisa, a schoolmate with personality similar to Lain’s, commits suicide. The true shock comes when students begin to receive post-death e-mails from Chisa. Most dismiss it, but Lain is struck by Chisa’s e-mail reading "I have only given up my body ... I am still alive…". Feeling that the incident is linked to the computer network called Navi System, Lain upgrades and becomes more involved in the Wired (internet). In no time, the lines between the Wired world and real life begin to blur for Lain, and she witnesses strange visions around her. The mirages continue even after Lain manages to make friends, and becomes more sociable; but these newfound companions notice that Lain is slowly changing into a persona previously only seen on the Wired: a mature, almost vicious Lain that is the total opposite of her real self. Disturbed by the prospect of a doppelganger, Lain researches the nature of the Wired, and thusly, becomes more entrapped in it, only to discover that her cyber-self existed before her real self formed, and that the Wired is no longer contained to PCs, but is influencing the real world. Review: Lain is a fair anime, but I do have my quarrels with it. The basic idea is that one can send “themselves” anywhere now that the world is networked, and with this ease comes another reality in which even a socially challenged young girl can wield power if she is dedicated. Simple enough, we can all relate to it, but it takes an entire series of circular logic and stock footage to tell it. The thing is, the nature of the anime makes this reuse forgivable, as if repetition symbolizes the real world, while erratic flow constitutes the Wired. However, I could have done without the point being ground into my head with the same badly animated walk cycle of Lain that’s used from the first episode onward. But my gripes end there, because the design was excellent. Contrast between the grey planes of Lain’s suburban life and the neon nightlife in which she becomes Wired Lain is so well done it nearly feels like two different anime. The music was also very appropriate, not catchy, but definitely mood-setting. I would recommend Lain to anybody ready to think, because this isn’t an easy watch to relax with, it really makes you question how much of a line there really is between our selves in cyber space, and real life. Rates: 3/5 Tapes: Series with progressive plot on each.
	Sex Friend: Tomohiro Takabe is an average high school boy, who's just started noticing the girls in his class- especially the cute and outspoken Mina Hayase . His crush remains secret, as he's too shy to approach her. But that all changes when Hayase suddenly starts pretending that he's her boyfriend in order to get rid of a guy she doesn't like. Taken aback, Takabe is too awkward to argue, despite feeling her dishonesty is wrong. After the charade is over, Hayase's interest is piqued by Takabe's innocence, and she boldly asks if he'd like to be her sex friend. Though he enjoys the attention and tutelage under Hayase's more experienced hand, Takabe is uncertain and anxious about what a “sex friend” really entails. Should he take her out on dates? Why doesn't she get jealous when he shows interest in other girls? Soon he finds himself the object of lust for both the school nurse, and a shy kinky girl named Kaori. As his confidence grows, Takabe's sexual escapades lead him to pleasing all three women. However, even with his newfound skill and dominance as a lover, Takabe still harbors his initial feelings for Hayase. Can his new prowess win over such a demanding girl? Review: From awkward virgin to anal orgies in the first episode- now that's a quality piece of pornography! Sex Friend falls into the “somewhat realistic” category of hentai, in that there are no tentacle monsters or magic trannies, just a mild-mannered student who is literally surrounded by horny women. Despite the male-masturbatory fantasy elements, this is actually an excellent piece of smut. I was surprised to see them include Takabe's learning curb so realistically- from his first two-second performance, to getting the hang of using a dildo. I don't expect many people will be watching this for the ~poignant character development~ But having a believable male lead it certainly helps draw the audience in. Plus, the sex is white hot. And I mean you-will-have-trouble-making-it-through-the-first-five-minutes hot. Barring those of you with some weird buttered shark fin fetish, Sex Friend brings awesome porking to the table and bids you all to enjoy. The art is fantastic [well, save for that one scene with the nurse, not sure what happened there, maybe they were animating with one hand- If You Catch My Drift]. Everything is fully animated and blessedly free of the dreaded humping-cycle that ruins so many other H flicks. So as you scroll through the 100 Best Hentai collection you've downloaded, keep and eye out for Sex Friend; whether you have women-on-boy tutelage fantasies, or just want to relive the steamy awkward groping of your adolescence, this OAV is for you. Rates: 4/5 Tapes: Two Episode OAV.
	Sexual Pursuit: Yuuji Kashima is a quiet, awkward boy, who lives with his soft spoken mother and overbearing sister, Aoi. Without his father in the picture, Yuuji is quite attached to his mom, to the point that his burgeoning sexual thoughts tend to be directed toward her. Yuuji keeps this quiet until he acquires a strange board game that claims to “bring the players closer than ever”. The main thrust of the game is to receive red cards which have a command printed on them. Initially, Yuuji attempts to play the game alone, but the kanji on the cards is too difficult for him to read, so he asks his mother to help. Happy to be able to spend quality time with her usually distant son, Yuuji's mom agrees- but to her horror the game soon entrances both players, and forces them to engage in sexual acts as the cards dictate. That evening, Aoi has a strange dream that echoes what happened between her brother and mother the day before. However, when she confronts him about it, Yuuji seems to have no memory of the incident. Despite this, Aoi is bothered by the dream- not because of the moral questions, but because she is jealous, and wanted Yuuji for herself. Suspicious that there's a connection between her dream and the game, Aoi sneaks into her brother's room and inspects it. She's disgusted to find all the naughty things printed on the cards, and immediately confronts Yuuji about keeping such things. Yuuji admits that he couldn't actually read the cards, so he's not to blame- however, the game has already taken effect, and Aoi is unable to stop herself from following the command on the card she read: masturbate. After she follows the order, she's completely humiliated. Yuuji tries to be nice and comfort her, but Aoi's sadistic streak gets the better of him, and she demands compensation. She dresses him in her undergarments and demands he suffers the same degree of shame. Afterward, Aoi feels guilty about bullying her brother- after all, the card's hypnosis wasn't his fault. But Yuuji confides in her that he's always liked her, and Aoi is able to finally express her love for him as well. Review: More often than not, I'll praise the first half of a hentai, then bitch and whine as it slides down the slippery slope of enema play. The plus side of Sexual Pursuit is that the sex is, for the most part, vanilla- no foreign objects being jammed into orifices, no pseudo-rape, no giant ogres with gnarly wangs. The significant downside is that both encounters are between Yuuji and his family- and I don't mean “oh no STEP SISTER, we shouldn't do that”, that is clearly his mom, and he won't cease saying so through the ENTIRTY of their game-enabled romp. The plot hops right into the cringe-inducing action, and doesn't let up- even before they're brainwashed into familial fornication by the game, Yuuji's interactions with his mom are creepy and awkward; he blushes when she speaks to him, compliments her looks, and gets all hot and bothered whenever she's near him. If that wasn't uncomfortable enough, Yuuji's age is never mentioned, but judging by his horror and surprise at the tent he pitches upon seeing his mom naked, we'll have to guess this is bordering on shota. Even if you had the blessing of not knowing Japanese and watching this without subtitles, the striking SIZE DIFFERENCE between Yuuji and his mom would be a disconcerting hint as to what was REALLY going on. The second episode is only slightly better, as Yuuji's sister looks completely different than him, and it's easy to scream ADOPTED over top the dialog every time he says “sister”. But this episode fails from a purely technical standpoint, as it reuses the ENTIRE first episode as a clip show, and only features about ten minutes of new animation. It also includes a graphic virginity losing scene, complete with terrible CRUNCH sound effects, which is always wretch-inducing to witness for the women in the crowd, and because multiple barely legal incest was clearly not kinky enough- copious peeing by Aoi. [As a side note, what the hell is wrong with this family and their inability to NOT PEE during sex? In the first episode Yuuji even accomplishes the PHYSICALLY IMPOSIBLE feat of cumming and whizzing simultaneously... ANATOMY 101, or gtfo.] From a non-biased standpoint, I could conceivably recommend this anime, because one of its strong points was the character acting- the strained relationship between Yuuji and Aoi, the way she turns her sexual frustration into bullying, is quite well done and apt. Similarly, the tension between Yuuji and his mom is really well depicted. Ultimately, if you didn't have to fight back waves of nausea at some point during this review, you may as well give this series a shot, and join the rest of us in feeling vaguely uncomfortable every time somebody invites us to play Trivial Pursuit. Rates: 2/5 Tapes: Two Episode OAV.
	Shadow Skill, The Movie: Elle uses the Shadow Skill of the Karuda school to defeat her enemies, and attempts to teach the technique to Gau, an orphaned boy who refuses to speak until he has become worthy of Elle’s skill. He does so when he finally meets his idol, Scarface, who is also a master of the Shadow Skill, and is taught how to fight. After wining his first battle, Gau’s esteem is regained. However, although Gau opens up to Elle, he soon discovers his trial will be to beat her, and above that, defeat Scarface. Gau succeeds in neither, but with Scarface’s guidance, he finally understands the basis of Shadow Skill, and now must hone this new skill. Review: “She’ll transform her entire body into bravery”- Shadow Skill. I think the quote says it all. The cheese of Shadow Skill had an indisguisable reek populated by bad character design, overuse of crotch shots (muscular crotch shots), still frames of crowds, spiralling blood, and talking boobs- You know, that shot in anime where a woman is in shadow except for her arms crossed over her chest, and she generally talks for hours on end? Yeah, that’s the one. The fight scenes reminded me of Dragon Ball Z, but with less action, more glowing armour, and drawn-out voice-overs to explain what in the hell was going on with a kick that somehow managed to take off a guy’s head. Worse than the narration are the words that scroll around any new object to describe it. Shadow Skill is 90% pans, 8% fight animation, and 12% spraying blood. That adds up to 110% of audience nausea. The character development was like being repeatedly slapped in the face; the facets of their personalities changed so much and so quickly it was hard to tell if they were maturing or just schizophrenic. The sound effects were also a nightmare, when they weren’t overused and grating, they’re overdone and incongruent. A tooth pick does not make the sound of shattering glass when it breaks! Ever! In the end, Shadow Skill left me wondering how somebody can speak so clearly, without ever parting their teeth. Rates: 1/5 Tapes: Double Feature.
	Shamanic Princess, The Series: Two rivalling priestesses are trying to acquire the Throne of Yord from Kagetsu, who has taken it in hopes of using the power to save his sister, Sara. While Tiara, the protagonist, follows the orders of the elder of the Guardians (the group to which she belongs), the second princess, Lana, sides with the antagonist, with whom both Tiara and Lana are in love. The Throne of Yord is physically a painting in which Sara dwells, and with her power, she draws in her brother, Lana, and her friend Tiara. But Sara is no longer herself, she has been possessed by The Throne of Yord, and becomes its incarnation. This entity then enslaves Lana, who is overpowered by it, but despite its power, she still does not kill Tiara when The Throne forces them fight. Tiara is left the last standing, and is taunted by The Throne; she is told of her fickleness, that she will fight whoever appears to be the enemy, even when it is her childhood friend, Lana. The Throne also explains it provides powers to the Guardians, and promises eternal happiness to those who submit. However, Tiara resists, and though Lana and her guardians are struck down, they work together against The Throne. In the end, Tiara faces The Throne on her own, and by solving the riddle Sara had been telling her within her dreams, Tiara realizes that the Throne and Sara have always been one entity, and that evil and good exist in all creatures, simultaneously. Thus, she submits to the Throne of Yord in order to save herself and Kagetsu from it; finally, it is returned to the Guardian Realm, with a stronger, self-sufficient power. Review: Shamanic Princess is typical Clamp tripe. If you're into their magical-girl type story lines, you probably won't find this series half bad. However, by itself, Shamanic Princess wasn't the greatest anime. The plot has been done to death. Throw in your standard animal-partner comedic relief, prophetic dream sequences, ballet filled transformation sequences, not-so-veiled references to girl/girl relationships, and you have every shoujo anime ever written, including this one. The character designs, as well as their clothing were definitely eye candy, but nothing special. Any animation used was terribly limited, even in the title sequence, which surprised me. CG effects were heavily relied on to make scenes look impressive, but it didn't quite succeed. Though the background designs were beautifully rendered, there really wasn't a need to hold on them for quite so long. These overly drawn out establishing shots seemed less to orient the audience, and more to show off the one shining quality present in this anime. The music of Shamanic princess was forgettable at best. Even the opening theme wasn't something that stuck in my mind. Usually anime is well set up, with shots that are beautifully cinematic and flawless character placement, but this one was full of inconsistencies. People's position in a scene jumped around a whole lot (just take a look at when Tiara first confronts Kagetsu- she's looking behind her, looking left, pointing right, standing straight forward... Either this girl has ADD or somebody didn't do their job very well), and more than half was just profile-on-profile talking. Even the fight sequences had me yawning. Rates: 2/5 Tapes: Series with progressive plot on each.
	Shamanic Princess, Princess Project: Set in the past of Tiara, this instalment of Shamanic Princess depicts her rights of passage to the magical world, beginning with the summoning of her first Guardian, whom she names Graham. This creature is brought to her in a new form, so it is confused, violent, and as yet has no true spirit. Tiara is the youngest mage ever to have a partner, and, even with the help of a summoning stone and the great powers entrusted to her, she finds it difficult to deal with the unreasonable creature that she has torn from its world into hers to be her servant. Tiara is afraid of the power within her, and this is personified in her shadow, which takes the form of her contemporary transformation, and captures Graham. In attempts to protect him, Tiara tries to find out more about this shadow -this other self- that she must confront. Tiara tries valiantly to protect Graham, and feels particularly strongly for him because she relates his situation to that of Kagetsu, whom she loves. With his help and Sara's power, Tiara conquers her fear, masters the power within herself, transforms successfully, and frees her partner, who is now loyal. With her contract completed, the group of senior mages who had been looking over Tiara go back into hibernation, and take her summoning amulet with them; she no longer needs its power because she has her own. Graham is also now fully imitated, and begins his life in the Guardian World. Meanwhile, Sara must battle the power with which she is bestowed: The Thrown of Yord. Not many know exactly what power she will possess, and many suspect she will simply be made a Neutralizer like her brother, Kagetsu. But when Sara fails to return from her initiation ceremony, the mood of the princesses and their guardians change. Kagetsu is worried, and begins to push Tiara away, which creates a lot of tension between her partner and Kagetsu. During this time, Lana also receives her partner, and is sent to Earth. When the strain of losing his sister becomes to much for Kagetsu, he steals the paining, the Throne of Yord, in which she is now contained. However, he is intercepted by Graham, who won't let both Kagetsu and Sara leave Tiara's life. But his powers aren't strong enough to combat Kagetsu, and Graham is sent back to his world. With the Throne of Yord and Graham gone, Tiara is sent to Earth with her new partner, Japolo. Review: I enjoyed this second half much more than the first. The music, first of all, was amazing, and definitely enhanced the otherworldly mood of the story. Further more, the way creatures are summoned is grotesque, and completely unique. They are soulless, and thrown into a new and strange form for their first moments on earth. They are terrified and disgusted by their new bodies, and lash out, even at the mage who has summoned them. I found it particularly clever that Tiara's transformation (that we saw in the previous season) was the very first enemy she had to confront, and as such, was forced to play the role of a partner by protecting the creature she had summoned from her alter ego. The animation and composition was vastly improved in Princess Project. It was captivating, and added to the plot instead of distracting from it. The characters emoted much more, particularly Lara, who plays a subdued part in Tiara's early life, but is nonetheless a very complex personality. Though she has no dialogue explaining her turmoil, it's brilliantly portrayed in her expressions when she, Tiara and Kagetsu are together. As a smaller point, but one that definitely made this a pleasure to watch, was the way magic was used. In the first part, the chants were cheesy calls for power in exchange for happiness. The untranslatable chanting used in this episode was much an improvement. The character designs were also amazing. Tiara's first partner, Graham, is just amazing. The way he moves, as if he's not actually in control of his body, is extremely well done. I also liked the contrast between Lana's summoned partner, Leon, who is beautiful, and Graham's misshapen appearance. It certainly is a visual representation of the contrast between the two princesses. Lastly, it was really fulfilling to see everything from the first season explained. The series actually ended in a loop; the first episode hooks up flawlessly to the last. Rates: 3/5 Tapes: Series with progressive plot on each.
	Shaman King: Asakura Yoh has been a Shaman for his entire life; born into a prestigious family of spiritualists, Yoh was able to see and interact with spirits since he was a child. However, this gift scared many people, and Yoh's friends were limited only to the lingering souls of the dead until he met a boy named Manta Oyamada. Initially, Manta is also scared of Yoh; he sees a boy surrounded by "ghosts", and flees in terror. However, after being shunned for making up stories, Manta approaches Yoh, and finds that what he saw was real. Yoh was convening with the souls because they were disturbed by a gang that had been frequenting the cemetery. That night, with Manta at his side, Yoh waits for the gang to return. Sure enough, they emerge, lead by the boisterous Ryunosuke Umemiya, better known as Bokuto (Wooden Sword) no Ryu. He and his crew of bikers have designated the cemetery their "Best Place", and are ready to pound the tar out of Yoh for meddling. However, in his rashness, Ryu knocks over the headstone of legendary samurai, Amidamaru. The spirit of Amidamaru appears, and Yoh is able to merge with him, gaining the swordsmanship and reflexes of a samurai. Yoh easily defeats Ryu, who escapes, his ego bruised. Because of his strong connection with Amidamaru, Yoh and the spirit bond, and Amidamaru becomes Yoh's Main Spirit. It's not long before other strange people begin appearing in Tokyo. While walking home, Manta spots a young boy with the same aura as Yoh. However, this boy is angry, and uses his Main Spirit for destruction. Manta warns Yoh, who soon finds himself challenged by the angry boy; he introduces himself as Tao Ren, and gloats that he has achieved 100% synchronization with his Main Spirit, assuring his victory. However, in the fray of battle, Yoh melds completely with Amidamaru, and is able to defeat Ren. The following day, Yoh gets another unexpected visitor. His fiancée, Anna, moves in with him and begins insisting he train for the Shaman Fight in Tokyo. She explains that more and more Shaman will be arriving, and Yoh is in danger if he doesn't improve his skills. Fiery and stubborn, Anna puts Yoh through an intense training regime of strength exercising and meditation. Although Yoh is laid back -to the point of being lazy- he follows Anna's orders out of fear. Anna is just as lazy as Yoh, but she's an accomplished spiritualist, and has a mean backhand for those who don't follow her orders. Meanwhile, Ren returns home, irate at his defeat. His sister, Jun, takes it on herself to teach Yoh a lesson. Unlike Ren, Jun is a Dao-shi, and can control reanimated corpses. Her main corpse is Lee Bailong, an ex martial arts television star. With a mastery of kung-fu, Bailong takes the upper hand against Yoh immediately. Despite his recent rigorous training, Yoh finds himself at a loss fighting against martial arts alone. Amidamaru informs Yoh that he would be able to use more of his spiritual energy if he had a sword, or something resembling one closely. Hearing this Manta runs to find Ryu, and (after much pleading) borrows his wooden sword. Properly equipped, Yoh manages to hold his own in the battle. However, Bailong becomes more and more enraged, to the point that Yoh cannot compete. Fearing for her fiancée (and the easy life he'll give her should he become Shaman King), Anna uses her powers to summon a dead soul: Bailong's master. The one man who has skills superior to Bailong's possesses Yoh, and the fight is soon over. Bailong regains his senses, as well as his mind. He becomes less like a zombie and more like a man. Through all this, Jun was deeply moved by Yoh's caring nature, and the way his friends helped him. She and Bailong swear to never hurt people without reason, and work together as a team, rather than master and servant. Similarly, Ryu is impressed by Yoh's ability, and swears he will become a Shaman as well. He begs Anna to allow him to train, and she agrees, putting him through "training" which involves cooking dinner for her and cleaning her house. In the fray of Yoh training, Anna ordering people around, Ryu doing domestic duties, and Manta looking on in exasperation, another young Shaman appears. He introduces himself as Horohoro, though his full name is Horokeu Usui. Having traveled from Hokkaido, he's homeless, and Yoh -in his good nature- takes him in. Although Anna is annoyed at the new addition, she puts Horohoro to work, cleaning as usual. But in this lull, and meeting yet another Shaman, Ryu begins to lose faith in himself. He returns to his gang, who try to cheer him up by finding the final "Best Place" at an abandoned bowling alley. There Ryu becomes possessed by Tokagero, an angry demon who wants revenge against Amidamaru for killing him. Not wanting to fight his friend, Yoh is left with a perplexing choice; in the end, he offers up his own body to be possessed, believing that Tokagero is simply striving to survive, and isn't fundamentally evil. After possessing Yoh, Tokagero bursts into tears, and leaves his grudge, realizing that friends provide security, and he no longer has to fight tooth and nail for his preservation as he was forced to when he was alive. Before the dust of the battle can settle, the Shaman Fight preliminaries begin. Yoh is tested by Silva, a member of the Patch and a great Shaman. He challenges Yoh, and teaches him to use Oversoul, which involves sending Amidamaru's spirit into an object, rather than using himself as a medium. This unlocks a whole new power, and Yoh qualifies for Shaman Fight in Tokyo. His first opponent is Horohoro. Their fight is intense, but is clearly a battle between friends. Though both put their all into winning, Yoh is the victor. He moves on to fight Faust VIII, a necromancer who was once a doctor. Faust fights with an edge of cruelty because of his desperation; years ago his wife was shot and killed. He became obsessed with reviving her, and now uses her skeleton as his Oversoul medium. In order to provoke Yoh into using all his energy, Faust captures Manta and tortures him until Yoh is depleted and must admit defeat. Yoh's final battle in the preliminaries is against Ren. Although Yoh lost his previous match, he learned that he cannot let himself succumb to anger. With indecision, an Oversoul is weakened, and can be easily defeated. Sure in himself, Yoh tackles Ren's impressive power. Though Ren clearly has the upper hand strength-wise, he's confused and angry, and unsure of his motives. The more he strikes Yoh, only to have the other boy remain calm, the more Ren loses it. After a massive fight, and a colossal show of power from Ren, the battle ends in a draw, and both young Shaman move on to the final match. Overcome with joy, Yoh invites Ren to celebrate with himself and his friends. Grudgingly, Ren accepts, and is quickly softened by Yoh's easy-going and friendly nature. However, with this change of heart, Ren finds he must defeat his own anger before he can pursue his dream of becoming Shaman King. Ren believes the embodiment of his anger is his father, and challenges Tao En. But Ren's father is exceptionally strong, and fights with the souls of all the Tao family, as well as an inexhaustible supply of reanimated corpses. Ren and his spirit, Bason, are defeated- but at the last moment, Ren sends his spirit away. Loyal to the end, Bason seeks out Yoh, and begs him and his friends to help Ren, who is being held prisoner, along with Jun. Yoh immediately agrees, despite Anna's insistence that he should be training for the final match, not wasting time. Not long after departing, Yoh and Horohoro are joined by a surprise Shaman; Bokuto no Ryu reappears, ready to help them, and having gained impressive spiritual powers in a short amount of time. Having been awakened by Tokagero's possession, Ryu took Tokagero as his Main Spirit, and joined the fight to become Shaman King and find the "Best Place" for his gang. Together, the three Shaman free Ren and Jun. Though they protest, saying it's a Tao family problem, Yoh, Horohoro and Ryu insist on joining Ren in the fight against his father. Ren relents, and a massive battle ensues. In the end, it's once again calmness that wins. Yoh's apathy and Ren's newfound centered determination take Tao En aback, and his Oversoul fails. Though he is humiliated, En is proud of Ren's achievements, and gives his blessing for his son to choose his own path. In a matter of days, Yoh, Horohoro, Ren, and Ryu are informed that the final battle will take place in Patch village, a little known American town. However, just before boarding the flight to America, Yoh's party is accosted by a boy who looks remarkably like Yoh. He introduces himself as Hao, and displays phenomenal powers over the elemental spirits. He bids Yoh to become strong, and disappears. Despite their trepidations over Hao, the Shaman leave their loved ones and fly to the Western world, scouring the expanse for clues to the location of Patch Village. The first person they meet is Lyserg Diethel, a British Shaman who specializes in dowsing. He's able to guide them closer to Patch Village, but he's emotionally unstable. The mere mention of Hao sends him into a rage; Lyserg's parents were killed by Hao for resisting against Hao's dream of an all-Shaman world. At this time, a new group also appears. The X-Laws begin approaching Yoh's group, asking for their power. The X-Laws follow a matriarch called Lady Jeanne, who they believe is the closest to God that man will ever come. They are dedicated to defeating Hao and upholding justice, regardless of the personal cost. Though they are powerful, and preach the word of God, Yoh is appalled at their merciless killing of those who follow Hao. Yoh believes that no Shaman is truly evil, and swears to never kill a soul; he refuses to join the X-Laws, as do Ryu, Ren and Horohoro. Lyserg, however, is dazzled by the X-Laws show of power. Obsessed with becoming great in order to avenge his parents, Lyserg abandons Yoh and joins the X-Laws. After losing their companion, it isn't long before another Shaman joins Yoh's team. He introduces himself as Chocolove, and immediately begins cracking jokes. Though this makes Yoh's team suspicious (and furious- the jokes don't go over very well), Chocolove's goal is simple and kind. He wants to become Shaman King to bring laughter to the world. Chocolove guides the party to Lilirara's house, where they receive visions of Hao's first attempt to win the Shaman Fight- 500 years ago. Yoh is taken aback by Hao's longevity, but doesn't dwell on it. The vision held clues to the location of Patch Village. Meanwhile, Anna and Yoh's family use their powers to unlock the Chou Senji Ryakketsu: Hao's magical tome of power. After unearthing the Senhachijuu (a set of 1080 prayer beads), Anna is able to control the spirits of the Chou Senji Ryakketsu and brings it to Yoh. Not only Yoh, but Ren, Ryu, Horohoro, Chocolove, and Faust (who Anna recruited for his power, and who agreed once Anna brought his wife's soul back) accept the powers of Chou Senji Ryakketsu, and are able to unlock massive spiritual power, more than doubling their previous strength. But with this strength came Hao's memories and Yoh learns of Hao's past. Hao was first born in the Heian period, one thousand years ago. He was a great monk of the Asakura family who helped those in need. However, he had very little control over his powerful reishi (the ability to see the hearts of others), and became convinced that humans were pitiful and horrible creatures. He swore to himself to become Shaman King, regardless of the cost. Hao mastered the art of reincarnation, and though he lost the first Shaman Fight, he was reborn 500 years later as a member of the Patch. This part of his life was witnessed by Yoh in the vision; Hao resembled the contemporary Patch member, Silva, as he had been reincarnated to that bloodline. Hao eliminated competitors mercilessly in attempts to become Shaman King and cleanse the world of humans. However, he was killed again, this time by Asakura Yohken and Matamune (his former loyal companion). With the power of the Futsu no Mitama and the Senhachijuu, they were able to destroy Hao's body- but not his spirit. Again, Hao was reborn, this time in the 20th century, to Keiko and Mikihisa Asakura. What Hao didn't foresee was that his body would be divided into twins: his other half is Yoh, and though Hao left his parents at birth (guided by the Spirit of Fire which still resided in him), he kept close tabs on Yoh, making sure his Other Half was strong enough for their eventual union. With their new powers, Yoh and his team find their way to Patch village; the test is not one of strength, but mastery of will. Once settled in Patch Village, each group of Shaman is asked to divide into three for arranged battles. The matches are picked at random, those who are defeated are disqualified. However, beneath the surface of (by and large) good-hearted matches, the X-Laws are hard at work. Finally finding Hao and his men in one place, Lady Jeanne leads her Angels into battle; she plans to use the Gate of Babylon in order to engulf Hao and put and end to his reign. To lure Hao into their trap, the X-Laws capture Manta and hold him hostage to draw out Yoh. With Yoh threatened, Hao appears to save his Other Half. Finally releasing the power preserved for defeating Hao, Jeanne and the X-Laws open the Gate of Babylon, and all are engulfed. But Hao is too powerful, and breaks the spell, devouring Jeanne's Holy Spirit in the process. With the phenomenal blessed soul that Jeanne controlled, Hao obtains unbeatable strength and simply attacks the Patch's Ten Priests. Breaking apart the Shaman Fight, Hao forcefully enters the Land of the Stars, where the Great Spirits reside. He easily passes the Pillars of Ilvirakan by force, and waits by the well of Great Spirits for Yoh. Meanwhile, Yoh and his companions are separated, confronted by Hao's men, and beaten back. But Yoh is determined; he accepts that even if he can't become Shaman King, he has to stop his brother from attaining that power. After defeating Hao's men with both his skill and tenacity, Yoh finally comes face to face with his twin, at the base of the column of light that houses the Great Spirits. Though Yoh was able to defeat his brother's followers, Hao is still vastly superior in skill, and easily wins the fight. With Yoh at his mercy, Hao devours his Other Half, taking Yoh's soul into his body. Yoh's friends arrive just in time to see their friend's lifeless body, and Hao's victory. But they don't give up, they fight Hao tooth and nail, as a team, for Yoh, believing that he isn't really gone. Miraculously, Yoh's soul escapes his brother's clutches. However, Yoh still can't win on his own. Luckily, Lady Jeanne conducts all the Shaman that have gathered in Patch Village in a prayer for Yoh's victory. Yoh's team joins in, and their power is bestowed on him. With the hopes of hundreds of Shaman, Yoh is able to dispatch the spirit of fire, and Hao vanishes. With all the interruptions caused by Hao and the x-Laws, the Shaman Fight is suspended, and the contestants go home. Yoh resumes school with Anna and Manta, happily awaiting his next chance to become Shaman King and make his dream of leading an easy life a reality. Review: Oh, spiritual lore, I love these sorts of stories. It may not be 100% accurate, but it's pretty damn interesting. Necromancy, Shamanism, and crazy cults- it's the sort of quest that dabbles in the occult to keep the viewer's interest. And a captivating plot isn't the only thing Shaman King boasts. There are a plethora of characters, and each is individually interesting. Yoh's unique brand of laziness, Lyserg's angst, Ren's rage, and Ryu's gonad-driven insanity; they're all brilliantly conducted. There wasn't one character I found boring or irritating. For the most part, I found them uproariously funny. Point and case, the bigger Ryu's collar gets, the gayer he gets. I mean, sure, initially, his team of followers was pretty "devoted", but after he becomes a Shaman, Ryu moves on to humping truckers and British kids. Don't get me wrong, though; at first, I was put off by Ryu's hideous design, but it's all part of his joke. He had me ROFLing more than any other character, and that's saying something for a series that has such hilariously timed jokes. And I'm not sure how you couldn't like Yoh. He's incredibly laid back, and just an all around nice guy. I haven’t encountered an anime personality quite like his before; sure, he has a few moments of absolute anger, but they just make him all the more real when he returns to his usual lazy self. Ren is one of those characters that all the fan girls go crazy for; he was the badass with exceptional powers, and now he's a grudging member of the team, taken into the "good guy" fold by Yoh. Slashable, innit? Oh yes, that's what makes it so amazingly good for the pervy girls out there. But for the rest, Ren ends up being the most normal (surprisingly, since he was a murderous nutcase for the first dozen episodes) and lets the audience relate to what's going on. While chaos is ensuing, the world is coming to an end, Horohoro is rolling around in the ground (he does spend an awful lot of time face-planted), Ryu is proclaiming love to school children, and Yoh is dozing, Ren's expression lets us all know: even one of the characters involved is WTFing at all this. It's all in the character interaction, and Shaman King does it RIGHT. It's amusing, and subtle. The characters were varied enough that everybody will have a favorite; I was also happy to see three-dimensional personalities. Each character grows throughout the series, but maintains their base characteristics. Lots of anime go astray by making everybody out to be "cool" by the end. Characters who switch from the evil side to the good are especially prone to huge personality jumps. But Shaman King resists this, with characters like Ren maintaining their sharp edge (hair pun not intended). While Ren does learn to respect others, he still judges people harshly. Faust is another turn-coat who maintains his "evil" ways; though he is less overt about it, the man is still a sociopath, and often does weird things that a typical "hero" would never do (like molesting Manta). Yoh is no exception to growing and changing throughout the series, but he always retains that laid-back attitude. I was overjoyed to see, after the catastrophe of the Babylon Gate, that he wasn't changed into a mopey, serious character, but was in a field eating watermelons (yes, I know: what!). Shaman King avoided the mistakes made by many of the longer anime. Firstly, it knew its length. The plot wasn't short and confusing, nor was it long and drawn out. It was told in a fluent way in just enough time to stay exciting; each episode was a new, interesting chapter. There was no filler. Even the less action-packed installments were full of character development and history. However, Shaman King did suffer one of the common pitfalls of a lengthy series; the art and animation have me divided. The designs themselves (what the characters wear, the way they look, color choices) are amazing, but the style itself isn't one of my favorites. The super-triangular faces and huge toeless feet worked for Astroboy, but there were many times I found myself cringing at the characters in Shaman King. What makes it worse is with 64 episodes, there are plenty of shitty-artist sequences, where the characters and animation get really sloppy. In the end, I can let the design slide, because, as I’ve said before, the story is so well told. To anybody teetering on the edge of delving into this series: Shaman King is well worth it. Rates: 4/5 Tapes: Series with progressive plot on each.
	Silent Möbius: “In the 21st century, the latest technologies help us against the onslaught of horrific, transdimensional predators. The solution, an elite squad of modern-day “witches”, known as the A.M.P., who combine scientific training, modern police procedures, and natural psionic powers to combat threats which originate from beyond the normal plane of existence. The story begins in 2028 AD. The A.M.P. race to head off a transdimensional “invasion” atop one of Tokyo’s newest skyscrapers, still under construction. But A.M.P. officer Katsumi Liqueur knows that she has met this powerful foe before..." Review: This anime had a lot of blood in it, but the animation itself was very good. The character designs were well done but the interaction was a little bland. It wasn’t realistic and became hard to relate with, but overall the amount of action during conflicts made up for the lack of charisma in the main characters. Rates: 3/5 Tapes: One Movie.
	Slayers, The Movie: The legendary Mipross Island has become open to the mainlanders during the Fairy Souls season. But when Lina Inverse and her cohort Nahga The Serpent arrive, they notice many of the inhabitants are acting confrontationally. When they use their magic to defeat the opponents, each one collapses, having apparently being controlled by a jellyfish. Lina doesn't give it any thought, more intent on the rewards she gets for turning in these miscreants, until she begins having visions of the old sage Rowdy ordering her to go to the Ruins of Elmgowsh. The King and Queen of Mipross also request she go because of rumours about demons beginning to inhabit the ruins. For a small fee, of course, Lina and Nahga set off for Elmgowsh, where she encounters Rowdy in person. He explains the possessed people Lina and Nahga fought were controlled by a demon named Joyrock. His and the island's past are deeply entwined: elves used to flourish on Mipross, and as a boy Rowdy fell in love with an elven girl named Meliroon. However, one day Joyrock destroyed the elves and he was unable to stop the slaughter. That's when the island became so removed from the main continent. Rowdy has waited, trapped as an old man and unable to die without avenging Meliroon. Agreeing to reverse the flow of time in order to undo the destruction of the elves, Lina, Nahga and Rowdy face off with Joyrock, who stabs the old mage, allowing him close enough to cast a time spell that hurtles the two sorceresses back in time. There, Lina helps the young Rowdy dispel Joyrock and his lesser demons, freeing the village and returning the current Mipross into a functioning society. Review: I get the impression that seeing the series Slayers would have really helped me enjoy this movie better. The humour was interesting, but as a whole it felt really rushed. Everything happened in quick succession, so if you just want a quick watch, Slayers is pretty good. The plot reminded me a lot of Zelda, probably because of the reoccurring old man. The animation was really good in some parts, but they were few and far between. The designs also didn't do very much for me, nor did the soundtrack. Rates: 2/5 Tapes: One Movie.
	Slight Fever Syndrome: Yuzuhira Mizuki-sensei starts her new job as a nurse/counselor at a junior college, expecting the usual fare of scrapes, studying fatigue, and relationship woes. Much to Mizuki's surprise, the students are precocious, and her very first case is a young girl asking for instruction on masturbation. Though Mizuki obliges, she dreads more in-depth questions, as she's still a virgin. Just as she feared, Mizuki is soon cornered by fellow faculty member, Endo-sensei, who wants Mizuki's advice on how to ask her new boyfriend about anal sex. Overwhelmed, Mizuki escapes to the local book store and stocks up on sexual manuals, which she reads to her increasing surprise (and arousal). Though Endo-sensei didn't get a proper answer from Mizuki, she says the point is moot, since she no longer fancies the man in question. After a night of experimentation between the two teachers, Endo-sensei starts pursuing Mizuki. Though Mizuki is flattered (and very embarrassed), she has her eyes set on Miss Endo's ex lover- star athlete of the school, Kirishima. Despite feeling tongue-tied around the young man, Mizuki unintentionally becomes closer to him as she counsels him on his break-up. But Mizuki has little time to dwell on her crushes and girly experimentation; as word spreads in the school that she's the go-to for sexual questions, students flood Mizuki's office with titillating problems like double D breasts, girls who are too forward with sex, and the proper use of toys. Review: A virginal school counselor teaching hormone driven kids about sex? This is a HOT set up, and Slight Fever Syndrome is bang on with its banging. The characters are well drawn, well animated, and have a hearty dollop of personality to boot. I was especially impressed with the varying “cases” they covered, and managed to stay away from the sordid squick areas that tend to come with school nurses. Making Mizuki a virgin really held the scenes together with innocent anticipation and just enough awkward comic relief to make this a solid plot as well as a solid porn. The only reticence I have is the blatant 80’s style censorship that puts a damper on every sex scene in this series. The penises look like pogos and the vaginas are shadowy gaping maws of mystery. That’s really not as hot as it should be. In a perfect world, SFS would be continued in contemporary times, where we’re no longer afraid of drawing cock and box, and everybody rejoices in the dazzling crisp porn of the future. Rates: 2.5/5 Tapes: Two Episode OAV.