February 2nd: Ah, my first day of work. The bus ride… Was okay. It was interestingly … Interesting. Oh my gosh I’m tired. I am so tired. It’s 9 o’clock… And I’ve been up since seven… Plus I didn’t sleep all that well due to the overwhelming heat in my room! But I can’t open the window that’s frozen shut, and opening my door would mean nightly visits from unwelcome toddlers. At any rate, the work itself was really fun. Of course the first few hours were spent troubleshooting what was going wrong with my computer and what I needed to begin. Luckily there was another new girl there, Gope, who sits beside me. (^_^) Her husband is our supervisor… Which makes things pretty cool, he’s always around when I have stupid questions. Speaking of which, I got a crash course in how to be awesome… Which doubled my proficiency in animating with Flash… For the life of me I can’t remember the name of the guy who taught me- I’m sure I’ll know it in a few weeks and kick myself for this post. But regardless, there are so many short cuts I didn’t know about, things that make life so much easier. And you know what was incredibly awesome? He did a full walk cycle in two minutes. Two freaking minutes. It made me think back to the four months I spent animating my traditional walk cycle. Augh. The pain. So yeah, I spent the day animating. And it was fun. Now I’m tired. And cold. And there’s a hole in one of my boots so one of my feet is frostbitten, but the other is fine. And so ends the marvellous first day.

February 3rd: Yay! My second day at work, and I’m all a thither. They liked my stuff! WooHOO! I have good lip-synch skills, by god. And my character acting isn’t half bad either. I was so happy at the verdict- I mean, I was expecting the supervisor to watch with an eyebrow raised, take a deep breath after a long pause, look at me sceptically, and say “so you know Flash?”. I am a bit worried about the amount of work, though. I mean, I have to do fifty seconds a week, not including bonus work. In two days I’ve done under 10 seconds. That bothers me. I mean, sure, I’ll get faster, but how long from now?
In other crappy news I haven’t heard from Raj lately- I don’t even know if the comic is still on. How odd. Friday he told me to do no more work, and he hasn’t said anything since then. Not to mention his website is gone… And since his e-mail address was through that domain… Hum.
Further crappiness is that Mike lost his ‘cel phone. Sure, that’s crappy for him, but it sucks more for me since now he’s one of Those People Without A Cel. Those people you can never get into contact with! Arrrghuuu!
Also (gee, I complain a lot) Sara thinks I’m only living here for two months. I’ve paid her for those, but … Um, the contract is three months. Maybe more- I mean, it depends on a lot of stuff, but three months certainly. Will I be living in the studio for the last month? Answers to this and more, same retarded paraphrased quote, same lame lack of energy.

Feb 4th: I’ve animated 30 seconds! WOOO!!! I’m fast. Look at me. And I don’t have to go through a pre-approval anymore, just straight to my supervisor. Plus, the corrections I get back are by and large studio preference and not animation flaws. YAY! YAY! ::Waves hands:: YAY I say.
I spoke with Heather on the ‘phone today, we’re going to get together to do lunch. Hee hee. Apparently I’m famous- one of her friends had actually been to my site before Heath forced her to go there. ::Polishes nails:: ::Eyebrow raise::
More coolness… I got MSN Messenger at the studio, so I pester Mike all day since he’s got MSN at Bardel as well. Muwahahahah.
On the comic front, I a) got paid and b) got into contact with Raj. Plus his domain is back up. The mother of all false alarms, I say. Though I don’t know if I can get a hell of a lot done on that project since I’m working 9-9 now. Sheesh. When it rains it pours.

February 6th: Yay! I made my quota… Not counting revisions, that is. I’ve done all the supervisor’s revisions, but on Monday I’ll have a whole pile of scenes to fix with the director’s corrections. I also have one over-time scene I’m going to work on when I go in during the weekend.
But as much as it may sound like I had a day full of animation- I didn’t. At first, I ran out of scenes to do, so I had to wait on that. Which didn’t really matter, though, since I had to pick up this package that Purolator tried to deliver, but nobody was home… And the depot is so fucking far away! Oh my lord! I had to take two buses and walk nearly twenty minutes just to get there. It took me an hour and forty-five minutes total to find this package, plus my feet were soaked by the time I got back. I wanted to go to the bank as well to deposit the cheques (that’s what the package was all about) but I couldn’t be arsed to wait in line so long. I mean, I waited there fifteen minutes, and the same people were at the wickets, so I’m like “to hell with this” and went to lunch.
Today just wasn’t my lucky day with travelling- on the way home Dufferin street was so icy the bus got stuck twice, and it had to go at snail pace to wend around all the salt trucks that were lined up on either side of the road. Whharrrgh! What is wrong with this city?! AND… How could I forget… AND, transfers don’t last more than one use. What the hell. I mean, I went all this way to pick up a package, but it only took two minutes to actually get the thing, so my transfer should still be good, right? Wrong. I mean, in Vancouver you get a ticket, which is a card about the size of a Driver’s ID (here the tickets are like postage stamps WTF!), and it’s good for about two hours after you’ve checked it in at the first bus. You can use it on any bus, even if you walk halfway across the city, then want to take the bus. That’s excellent. I can hop buses all I want for those two hours. Here you get one transfer, specific to the road you’re travelling, and if you’re coming in the opposite direction, the transfer expires. Wow. That sucks ballz.
I noticed something odd with this whole bus-riding thing… There are so many young children who ride the bus. And I’m on this thing late- around 9-10pm at night, and these kids can’t be older than eleven. Sure, not all that much can happen when you’re on the bus, but come on! I’d be terrified if I were a kid. Hell, I’m terrified of the bus as it is. ::Shakes head:: Kids these days… So independent and ornery.
In retarded HP-ish news, I saw this sign on the way home. “Wizarding School & Magic show 10:00am - 5:00pm Saturday, Sidewalk Sale 9:00am - 6:00pm Sunday”. I don’t know why I found this so funny, but I did, and the other passengers inched away from me as I guffawed in lame glory.

February 7th: Today I bought new shoes, went into work briefly, finished my bonus animation, will apparently have tons of corrections Monday, came back home to watch anime, I think the upstairs toilet is possessed by Satan himself, and I can no longer fend him off with the rank stench of my jungle-rotted feet from my old boots that were full of holes because my new shoes rock fiercely and rapidly.

February 8th: I'm rather close to finishing Queen of the Damned, so I'm going to complain in this entry, and talk about the good stuff when I actually finish the book. So, let's get on with...

Crowning Moments of QotD Cheese:

10. Jesse's Struggle with Unlocking Claudia's Secret Chamber
"Oooh, the door swings OPPOSITE to the hinges." And it took five paragraphs to get that through: Jesse cannot operate a door.

9. Marius' Schizophrenia
"I'm scared, I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm dehumanized, I'm happy, I'm relived, I'm agitated, I'm anxious. I've got worse ADD than Armand." Speaking of which...

8. Armand's ADD
While yelling at Daniel and threatening his life, Armand comments on the kid's purple eyes. Focus, Armand. FOCUS.

7. Khayman the Caveman
“I Khayman. Khayman sorry. Khayman enjoys saying own name often, being large, and staring creepily. Khayman wants frieeeeeeeeeends.”

6. Mael the Shitty Bodyguard
… Along with every other old vampire there. Maharet gives one simple command: protect Jesse. So what do the vampires do? They stand around ogling Armand while Jesse gets her head smooshed in by some no-name vamp that slapped her ass with a little too much spunk.

5. Marius’ Big Mouth
“Hey, Lestat. You’re strong-headed and think nothing through. I know you’re dazzled by pretty powerful women, so here’s the breathtakingly beautiful Queen of all Vampires! Don’t touch her now. Seriously, I know you can’t control yourself when your wiener does the thinking, but as tempting as it may be to have Vampire!Sex with Akasha, don’t do it. Now I’m going to conveniently leave for a few hours…”

4. Talamasca: the Veeeery Secrit Club!!!1
“What IS your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery!?” Jesse’s sent to investigate vampires, but under no circumstances should she investigate them too much. “Remember, Jesse, find out all you can. But not anything conclusive. Or we’ll kill ya.”

3. Akasha the Feminist Bitch
Let’s kill all the men on the planet and blame all violence and unhappiness on them in a badly veiled subtext of womyn superiority! Remember kids, Akasha says “GRRRrrrl power!” I wonder which Spice Girl she’d be. InsaneKillingLustifullyBitey Spice, I’d imagine.

2. Baby Jenks
I don’t even have to explain this one, her entire segment, and any mention of her thereafter was like adding a big hunk of poo to an already ripe fondu.

1. Every Moment Lestat Spends with Akasha
Could he whine any more? "Ooooh, I don't wanna kill people. But she's so tasty. Maaaan, I'm so horrible. Damn, she's got a fine ass. Whiiiiiiine why am I so tortured, where are my friends, I'm soooo alone, wah wah wah I love humans and can't argue worth shit."

TGO: You know the myth that was spread about him by the Jews?
Me: What?
TGO: Hitler only had one testicle.
Me: HAHAHA is that true?
TGO: The belief was true. No facts...I have never seen the post-mortem reports because the actual body was never really identified.
Me: Poor Adolph. He had so many malfunctions, not only in the brainz.
TGO: I do know that Hitler went to a psychoanalyst once... The analyst said he was having Oedipus transfer about his mother... The psychoanalyst was never heard of again... Sort of disappeared.
Me: HAHAH. No kidding.
Hitler: "I am Hitler. I control the world. Read my fortune."
Psych: "You wanna bone yer mom. AHahah. I'd bone her too, man nice ass, yeahhhhhhhhhh baby."
Hitler: ::Snaps fingers:: ::Enter SS officers::
TGO: I think the scenario you sent me actually happened. Although I think the psych had an Austrian accent.
TGO: Did you know Hitler was a vegan?
Me: I knew he had weird eating habits and slept in odd patterns.
TGO: He also had odd sleeping habits. He slept 3 hr for each 12 hr of the day.
Me: So he was vegan, anti-smoker, and slept like a cat. That's basically every wanna-be cool and recent person.
a) Cat lover
b) Smoker hater
c) Vegan/vegetarian/or doesn't eat red meat

All these things I'm sick of hearing about.

a) Cats smell like pee
b) Smoking doesn't cause everybody within a 50 mile radius to die, contrary to popular belief
c) If we weren't designed to eat meat, we'd vomit it up or poo it out at an alarming rate
TGO: The British consulted an astrologer because Hitler consulted one regularly.
Me: AHAHAH!
"your Capricorn is in the sun, attack the Jews."
"your Scorpio is falling, attack the Jews."
"your Libra is intercepting Saturn, attack the Jews."

Then I was having dinner, and this guy comes up to me.
Guy: “Mind if I sit down?”
Me: “Yes.”
Guy: “I saw you sitting here alone.”
Me: “Your powers of observation are astounding.”
Guy: “Uh… So wanna have a beer with me and my friend?”
Me: “No.”
Guy: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Rather.”
Guy: “My name’s Dan.”
Me: “That’s excellent for you, Dan.”
Guy: “This is how you meet new people.”
Me: “I was just on my way out.”
Guy: “Well, if on your way out you wanna have a beer.”
Me: “Goodbye.”
Guy: “You sure?”
Me: “Goodbye.”

Must be the mag fields. My father says there was this weird wave, perhaps a microwave, that he picked up yesterday. It was so loud (when converted to sound) that it was drowning out the rest of his equipment, and one of the non-seized rats died spontaneously. Simultaneously, in Paris (I think it was) a bunch of wires and conductors went up in flame- even if they weren’t connected. Strange stuff. I think we had a power outage here, but I can’t be sure. All I remember is that I was on the ‘phone with Mike, and the power clicked off, and I was like “aww, my hard drive feels the pain”.

February 14th: Today started out pretty badly. I still didn’t have internet, so I went downstairs to check the connections and fell down the stairs. I keep doing that. I don’t need Sink’s miraculous power to predict how and when I’m going to die. April , 2013, 11:53am: horribly falling down stairs.
At any rate, I found out the cable was ajar, so I fixed it, and came back upstairs. Mike sent me a really nice Flash animation he made himself (for Valentine’s Day of course). It really made the whole day a lot less depressing than I thought it would be, plus he gave me a call. It was funny because I didn’t expect it, so I was on the bus, my headphones on, and my ‘phone was BLARING. People were staring, I finally picked it up and was like “Eh heh. I never get calls. Oops.”

In book news, I’m subjecting myself to more horror: The Vampire Armand. Actually, I read the middle (all of Armand’s past) already, and it wasn’t half bad. Sure, the description runs rampant, but at least it’s not boring. The beginning, however, which I’ve just started, is horrible! Allow me to MST it flagrantly…

Part I: A subtle ploy to sell Pantene Pro V

He came up the steps to be near me, but kept a polite distance. He has always been the gentleman, even before there was such a word.
::Sarcasm:: Back in Rome when polite guys where known as cowards and poke mercilessly with sticks.

In ancient Rome, they must have had a term for such a person, infallibly good mannered, and considerate as a point of honor, and wholly successful at common courtesy to rich and poor alike.
Yes, and we have it too: Omish.

This was Marius, and it had always been Marius, insofar as I could know.
… Because we’ve heard a million times that being a vampire only makes one more like their dominant trait. But, hey, you can never be too sure.

He let his snow-white hand rest on the dull satiny banister.
… And he relaxed his coral languid hips alike to peter-pan, arranging his opaquely moulded feet liberally on the ropey glimmer of the luminescently polished marble of the spanning floor.

Good lord. Is anything in this kid’s world simple? It’s a banister, Armand. Move steadily along.

He wore a long shapeless cloak of gray velvet, once perfectly extravagant, now downplayed with wear and rain, and his yellow hair was long like Lestat's hair, full of random light
Rather like a Christmas tree.

and unruly in the damp, and even studded with drops of dew from outside, the same dew clinging to his golden eyebrows and darkening his long curling eyelashes around his large cobalt-blue eyes.
I don’t know about vampires, but water-in-the-eye is pretty much a universal state of discomfort…

There was something altogether more Nordic and icy about him than there was about Lestat, whose hair tended more to golden, for all its luminous highlights,
Armand: “Which were more of a phosphorescent puce now that I think about it.”

and whose eyes were forever prismatic, drinking up the colors around him, becoming even a gorgeous violet with the slightest provocation from the worshipful outside world.
Damn that provocative outside world! Its worship always seems to make my eyes clash with my carefully chosen ensemble.

In Marius, I saw the sunny skies of the northern wilderness, eyes of steady radiance which rejected any outside color,
In other words, unlike Lestat, Marius’ eyes didn’t randomly change colour at the author’s whimsy.

perfect portals to his own most constant soul.
As opposed to Armand’s random soul?

"Armand," he said. "I want you to come with me."
Marius: “Just like old times, when I used to molest you as a child. Do you remember, Amadeo?”
Armand: “Verily, sir.”

"Where is that, Master, come where?" I asked.
… feigning stupidity, because I knew that made Marius randy. Retarded boys were always his favourite.

Part II: Armand’s inexplicable condition

I flushed with blood and color; the warmth was stinging
I don’t know what sort of condition causes blushing to become an affliction of spewing stinging blood, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce.

and unpleasant,
I’ll bet. Stinging bloodiness is generally pretty low on a person’s “Most Enjoyable Sensations” list.

and then as the blood danced back away from the surface of my face, I felt cooler and strangely enervated that I felt any sensations at all.
In conclusion, Armand feels hot, then cold, then pleased. I think the kid just blew a wad.

"David Talbot," I said, measuring him coldly with my eyes,
Armand: “Six inches. Hmm.”

"David Talbot, Superior General of the Order of Psychic Detectives known as the Talamasca, had been catapulted into the body in which he now walks."
And Armand summarized book 4 for us. Thanks, man.

I didn't know whether I paraphrased or made it up as I went along.
“… Because my ultra-acute vampire memory just isn’t what it used to be. But I remember in the day, it only cost two bits to ride the ferry across the bay, and you had enough left over for the evening post and a slice of cherry pie. Now, I was riding the midnight boat - we wore an onion on our belt, which was the style at the time - and this is important because… ::Prattles on::”

"He'd been entrenched or chained inside it, made a prisoner by so many ropey veins,
Um. Ew…

and then tricked into a vampire as a fiery unstanchable
No, this word does not occur in the dictionary. But Rice seems to want to say that vampire blood is unstoppable.

Blood invaded his lucky anatomy, sealing his soul up in it as it transformed him into an immortal-
Armand: ::Patronizingly:: “And that’s how vampires are made, little Davie.”

a man of dark bronzed skin and dry, lustrous and thick black hair."
CHARACTER DESCRIPTION! ::Slaps you in the face::
On a side note, David should probably look into some moisturizing conditioner... Is that dandruff?

"I think you have it right," he said with indulgent politeness.
“Except that comment about my hair. It’s not my fault if I retained the old man scalp. Jeez.”

"A handsome gent," I went on, "the color of caramel,
Armand: “Delicious toffee… Cappuccino delight, almond crunch, rich mocha… Fuckit. Let’s go to Starbucks.”

moving with such catlike ease and gilded glances
Gilded:

1. To cover with or as if with a thin layer of gold.
Unless he has golden eyes, I’m not sure this applies. Or maybe his ultra-new vampire power is the Midas touch… With his EYES.

2. To give an often deceptively attractive or improved appearance to.
So either his eyes hide his ugliness, or him looking at stuff hides the stuff’s ugliness. These undead powers are getting out of control.

3. Archaic. To smear with blood.
Even if he’s a particularly weepy vampire, I still don’t see how this description makes sense.


that he makes me think of all things once delectable, and now a potpourri of scent:
… You what?

cinnamon, clove, mild peppers and other spices golden, brown or red,
So the guy smells like a super market.

whose fragrances can spike my brain
… Or maybe Armand has just been snorting less commercial “spices”.

and plunge me into erotic yearnings that live now, more than ever, to play themselves out.
News flash: Oregano makes Armand horny.

His skin must smell like cashew nuts and thick almond creams. It does."
I think this is more of Stan Rice’s poetry.

I miss those thin almond creams, actually.

IT DOES. I KNOW NOW! I HAVE REALIZED!

He laughed. "I get your point."
… Enlighten us. Is it Armand’s fascination with the spice aisle?

I had shocked myself. I was wretched for a moment. "I'm not sure I get myself," I said apologetically.
He finds his own blatant description of things shocking? Well, I guess it was. Shockingly bad.
Armand: “I thought I was more eloquent than that. I truly am sorry. I‘ve been reading too much Stan Rice.”

"I think it's plain," he said. "You want me to leave you alone."
Because shouting somebody’s embellished description at them is the best way to get them to leave? I’ll have to try that the next time some homeless dude harasses me for change.

I saw the preposterous contradictions in all this at once.
Unfortunately, the audience did not. Nor did they care.

"Look," I whispered quickly. "I'm deranged," I whispered. "My senses cross, like so many threads to make a knot: taste, see, smell, feel. I'm rampant."
Armand: Rampant with the power of my THESAURAS!!! ::Wields it like a sword::

Do you have to sing?
No, I don’t do the voices for characters. That would be the voice actors, who do everything before I get to it. And no, I can’t get you a date with Betty’s voice actor because she thinks you’re too fat and have sweet tarts in your beard.

Are you in broadcasting?
Vaguely, I guess. I don’t play with switchboards, if that’s what you mean.

Do you draw stuff?
At times, but mostly I move pieces around frame by frame to resemble movement.

Isn’t it terrible sitting in front of a computer all day?
I would be doing that regardless, besides, animation is really fulfilling- seeing things come to life when they started out as just a static drawing.

Gee, I wish I could draw like you! How can I draw like you?
Get your head smooshed as a child.

Today I did quite a few corrections at work, and came home early in attempts to work on my novel which I’ve suddenly become inspired about. I didn’t get a lot written, though, since Mike called me on the ‘phone and we stayed up talking ‘til the wee hours of the night. (>_<)

February 17th: Today was a non-spectacular day during which I animated a giant extending robot wang. No, really, I did. ::Laughing so hard:: I kept having to contain my laughter during the scene, or people would think I was crazy, sitting their in hysterics. Plus it would gain more attention to the scene than it had already attracted- People kept wanting to know what was going on, and to *see* the scene, which is generally odd between animators, to ask to see other people’s animation when it’s a work in progress.
When I got home I worked on my story a bit more- but there’s a very annoying thing that goes on in this house: the power goes out. A lot! I’d wager twice or more a week. This time it must have been a pretty long spell because my clock was all screwed up. ::Kisses External HD:: Oooo it’ll be okay. ::Pet pets::.

February 18th: Today started out… Like ass. The tram refused to go any further than College and Dupont, because the car in front of us had stopped on the tracks, complete with ambulance. Ah, yet another place I would loath to die: the tram. So I walked to work, and it took an hour at my leisurely pace. Luckily I have a job that doesn’t really require punching the clock, so nobody cared that I was late. In fact, half the people weren’t there regardless because Tuesday is drinkin’ and games night.
Animation itself went pretty good. I’m running out of scenes and didn’t get to see Adrian about acquiring more, though. I left after having a game of ping-pong with Jeremy. We concluded that my best efforts are still amazingly sucky. Then again, it was the first game I'd ever played.
As for the home life- man, there are a lot of things I miss about living alone. But there are also a lot of perks to living here, especially if I were more devious. Like, there’s food always laying around. Mmm. Unsupervised chicken. But to counter the coolness, there’s the constantly broken toilet, the faucets with only one handle so getting warm water is like splitting the atom, and the fact that everything in a four metre radius of the kitchen is covered in syrup.

February 19th: [Entry edited June 9th 2004] Today started out pretty badly, with the director saying I couldn’t animate. Well, not exactly, more like I didn’t know the character’s motivation- I just couldn’t get inside the head of a robot man with an extending schlong. But in all seriousness, getting down blasted made me create some of my best animation to date! At least, in my opinion it was awesome. I guess my learning curb is about two hours. ::Proud:: Also, there was the fact that the shitty scenes were the first few I did featuring new characters, so I honestly didn’t know how they should act… I have yet to see season one of this show, despite searching on Kazaa (there wasn’t one episode!). I guess when I go in on the weekend I can watch the tapes of Season 1, though I’m a little alarmed at using the VCR. I hate using other people’s television set ups, they’re always so confusing, particularly when they have a PS2, X-Box, Dreamcast, DVD player, and VCR all plugged in. Satellite makes all that twice the pain in the ass too.
Speaking of which, the database was being a real dickwad today- so I got hardly any work done. I actually started on revisions without actually being assigned them I was so desperate for work. Hopefully it’ll be sorted out tomorrow- I think IT was working on it when I left.
And now for my insanity…

Viger says: Well I'm gonna blow this Popsicle stand.
Viger says: Byeeeeeeeeeee! Give me a call if you need the cheer.
Viger says: Or call Cheer Bear, because she's got that schnazzy 80's jacket to boot.
Viger says: Lalalal.
Viger says: Answerrr! I don't know if all my heart-felt messages just disappear if I close this window.
Viger says: mfrik.
Viger says: What's that?
Viger says: A BIRD!
Viger says: Omfg. That's the ugliest bird I've ever seen. What is that, an albatross?
Viger says: I think it's a pelican.
Viger says: Oh. Are those the freaky ones that they used as cement mixers on the Flint Stones?
Viger says: Is that really two words?
Viger says: Is that really the point! Yeah that's a pelican.
Viger says: Whoa. You know, if I were a bird, I'd be a woodpecker.
Viger says: That's a pretty gay choice.
Viger says: I know, but what other bird gets to be so noisy!
Viger says: A seagull.
Viger says: A seagull?
Viger says: Yeah, they're really loud. And vicious, that's a lot more like you.
Viger says: Fine then, I'd be a seagull. What would you be?
Viger says: A sparrow.
Viger says: ... Why??
Viger says: Because.
Viger says: No really, why? Sparrows don't have anything cool about them at all.
Viger says: And that makes them cool by default.
Viger says: .... What!
Viger says: Exactly.
Viger says: Makes no sense!
Viger says: Precicely.
Viger says: God you're dumb.
Viger says: No, I'm a genius. That's just it.
Viger says: A genius wouldn't be sitting here talking to me.
Viger says: You have a point there.
Viger says: ... Wait!
Viger says: Yes, you DID just insult yourself.
Viger says: No, I insulted you!
Viger says: And some friendly fire got in there.
Viger says: Ahmotherfuk.
Viger says: ... Sooo. What are ya wearing?
Viger says: A loincloth!
Viger says: And?
Viger says: A coconut bra.
Viger says: ... And?
Viger says: You know those gay grass-skirt type things that you wear around your shins?
Viger says: Yeah?
Viger says: I'm wearing those too. On my shins.
Viger says: Wtf are you dressed like that?
Viger says: Because I'm the Queen of France.
Viger says: Um. Sure.
Viger says: What are YOU wearing?
Viger says: An array of orange peels held together with sellotape.
Viger says: You must smell a lot.
Viger says: I do. I smell like Mr. Clean orange.
Viger says: Don't you attract fruit flies that way?
Viger says: Verily, sir.
Viger says: That's very disturbing. I'll trade you my coconuts for a piece of your peel-meal.
Viger says: No dice.
Viger says: Bah!
Lync says: hang on...I was gone for a sec and I'm scrolling up to read but every time you send a message it bumps it down to the bottom again.. give me a sec
Lync says: ha!! you're crazy....
Lync says: I'm done... gotta give the director my folders... brb
Viger says: Myess.
Viger says: I've got to GO!
Viger says: I'm leaving!
Viger says: THAT WAS THEN ENTIRE POINT! AUGh
Viger says: THIS IS CRAZY!
Viger says: :: Spits while talking :: COME BACK YOUUU!
Viger says: COME BACK I JUST WANT TO TALK! :: Wields meat clever::
Viger says: STEEEEEEEEEELAAAAAAAAAA!
Viger says: STEEEEEEEEEEEEEELAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Viger says: :: Rips shirt off ::
Viger says: STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEELAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Viger says: AUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Viger says: AAKKJDFV ;;:LJ@!
Lync says: stop typing
Viger says: Don't try and type with your face.
Viger says: NEVER!
Lync says: rofl!! holy crap I think you've lost it
Viger says: Myess. And I have to go.
[Viger has left the conversation]

In other grand news, I got my window open! HURRAH!!! And it’s a true Eastern window too, complete with screen. You see, in Vancouver, there aren’t screens. At all. Apparently there are no black flies or mosquitoes or horseflies in Vancouver.
And so concludes why I’d like to move back there.
Seriously, I’m still traumatized by my days of youth at camp…

And since this is turning into one of those piece-meal, let’s put all my thoughts up at once entries, I’d like to share some social savvy that I was reminded of today, for other people whose uniqueness is not so much personal flare, as it is a social maladjustment.

I’ve found, with time, that one of the most awkward situations is when somebody admits love to you, and regardless of how you actually feel, you seem to blurt out something ridiculous. Well, the following are some of the worst, and generally warrant a slap across the face or a poke in the eye… Now remember.
“I Love you!” Don’t say…
1. “I know.”
2. “Not you too!”
3. “Join the fuckin’ club, honey.”
4. “That’s… weird.”
5. “I don’t blame ya!”
6. “Ah crap.”
And for those with bereaved friends (and as a reminder to Jan), when somebody tearfully tells you they’ve lost a beloved family member, don’t ask “did it hurt”. Just… Don’t.
Remember, It is never, under any circumstances, socially appropriate to clip your toenails at a formal luncheon. I don’t care if it feels like they’re clawing at the toes of your shoes, that they’re growing as we speak, and if you don’t take care of the situation immediately gangrene of the toenail is sure to set in. Stiff upper lip, there’s always amputation… Except for Social Ineptitude. I’m sorry, that’s permanent.
….So this is my small impartment of wisdom for those of us who still think it’s entirely socially acceptable to smell the person’s neck who’s standing next to you on the bus.

By the way,
It’s not.

PS: I have not been into the horse radish again.

James: Yes, you can see the picture fine?
Me: AHAHAHA
AHHAHA HA
HA
HA
Me: IT HURTS SO GOOD
Me: QAHAHAHA Goefmg!
James: Oh man...this can't be good
Me: AHAHAHAAHAH. THE PROFILE SHOT
WHERE IS UR HAND MAN! OHmg
James: That wasn't even a real acronym...*looks frightened*
Me: AAHAHAHHAHHAHA!
James: It's dotted out ASS-HAT! They do it all of the time.
James: I have plenty of turn-around copies with non-existent limbs
Me: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAA Shuddap arsecunt it's so DOWN YOUR PANTS!
Me: This isn't something to be proud of.
James: ....it looks FINE
Me: I AGREE.

3AM…
Computer: BEEP BOOP!
Me: “Snuh.”
Computer: BEEP BOOP!
Me: “Ooh. Forgot IM on. Hi Lib…. Nuuh….”

SCENE MISSING.

SCENE MISSING.

Me: “Ahh back to bed.”

SCENE MISSING.

In conclusion, I may have said some very unintelligible or very boring things. I’m hoping for unintelligible.
Today was slightly more… Remembered. Or memorable, as one could say. I animated, I schmoozed, I kick ass at fighting games, and so was revealed in GamesNight. The sole reason nobody is ever there Wednesday morning. Except Mike W, who I suspect lives at the studio secretly. (^_~) Mwa whe he har.

March 6th: I went into work today, only to find the door locked… Which I figured would be a real pain in the ass since last night Jer and I were the last to leave and we had to lock up but our keys wouldn’t work. Luckily this morning mine decided to open the door, and Dorian was already there so I didn’t have to worry about the alarm.
Speaking of Dorian- I was completely surprised to find he was a fellow Harry Potter and anime fan! I mean honestly, he’s seen the original Sailor Moon. And liked it. What are the odds? (^_^)
Anyway, after working for a bit, and having a hell of a time getting Flash to cooperate and not corrupt my files, I started uploading some of my work to my site and left for dinner. When I came back, the door was locked again. So I tried to open it, but this time my key was being a real asshat and wouldn’t open the door. No matter how hard I tried. So I eventually said fuckit and went home.
After hanging about watching anime for a couple of hours Jer came online and offered to give me a ride back to the studio, which was great since I really did want to get those files all set up. So we went in, and everything worked well with actually getting into the studio. I think we ended up leaving around 1:30am, maybe 2. I got home late enough that the alarm at my house was set. Now, let me tell you, I’ve unarmed this thing a million times from inside. So I thought it’d be easy from outside. It starts going off the minute I open the door, so I put in the disarming code and it’s quiet. Perfect. But THEN it starts going off! Loud as hell, sirens blaring, I’m like punching at the keypad to try and turn it off but nothing happens. And nobody gets up to help me. Eventually the siren just turns off, after about a minute. Still nobody is awake, though I feel sort of guilty for the neighbours. I’d hate me too if I were them. At any rate, Sara told me that if I ever set off the alarm accidentally the police would call right after and I would give them the pass code to say it was a false alarm. So I stayed up for half an hour, waiting for the cops to call. They never did. Ooo. Secure.
Anyway, the main problem with all this is that I couldn’t reset the alarm. Like, it just wouldn’t let me arm it again. No matter what. So eventually I’m just like the hell with this, and locked the door. If somebody murders us all in the night, I guess it’s my fault, but who the FUCK cares. I hate alarm systems. I hate them SO Much. People don’t know how to explain them, and when this thing is going off, scaring the hell out of you because you thought you disarmed it, you’re not gonna be able to rationalize the best course of action to turn the fucking thing off!
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
But on a more calm note, I see why people are so happy living here. I was talking to Jenny just this morning, and she was saying she doesn’t hear the alarm when it goes off (other girls have set it off too). If they can sleep through that alarm, they can sleep through the kids screaming. Why am I the only light sleeper here?! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

March 7th: Sigh. The stress of living here is getting to me. After being called a retard for not resetting the alarm, then putting up with the children screaming bloody murder with their friends today, I really miss the life I had in Vancouver. The solitary life. Though I’d like to mass all my friends together in one place for once. Damn them for having their own lives that don’t revolve solely around me! But ahh… Memories. I think it’s time to revisit how embarrassing I can be to all my chums… By posting their most… "Ambiguous moments"… All over the internet. ::Evil cackle:: This'll prompt ‘em to e-mail me.
James of Jamington
Career: Character Designer
Job: So far as I know, he's working as a carpenter and doing art for free... Except at the theatre, where he draws ripley wrestling guys for bags of popcorn.
Location: Mission, near Vancouver.
Toronto to Mission, B.C. (via Trans Canada Hwy.) 4,630 kilometres (2,894 miles)

Sailorboy Mike
Career: Flash Animator
Job: Mike gets regularly raped by Costco, and despite having a successful animation career, he continues to secretly enjoy the abuse of being a cog in the big corporate wheel.
Location: Coquitlam, near Vancouver.
Toronto to Coquitlam, B.C. (via Trans Canada Hwy.) 4,590 kilometres (2,869 miles)

Elf Princess Arwin
Career: Character Artist
Job: Arwin continues to fend off his family with the power of RPG. His ultimate quest still involves finding work.
Location: Winnipeg.
Toronto to Winnipeg, Man. (via Trans Canada Hwy.) 2,115 kilometres (1,322 miles)

Seagull Jan-Popo
Career: Character Designer
Job: I think Jan is still attempting to illustrate and publish morbid books to corrupt children.
Location: Winnipeg.
Toronto to Winnipeg, Man. (via Trans Canada Hwy.) 2,115 kilometres (1,322 miles)

Kyl-ieeeee
Career: Animator
Job: Kyla's taking Maya and using her notorious social skills to secure a continuous stream of jobs. Yet she's still a server at IHop. It must be for the free pancakes.
Location: Vancouver... Or Regina.
Toronto to Regina, Sask. 2,704 kilometres (1,690 miles)

Heath
Career: Chemist
Job: Her degree of math skillz frighten me to this day... But she works as a server, squandering her big luscious brain on old people's digestive problems.
Location: Oakville, near Toronto.
Toronto to Oakville, Ont. 40 kilometers (25 miles)

Night Bear
Career: Psychologist
Job: Tutor... Or something that mostly involves ogling boobies and offering other people Bits and Bites.
Location: Sudbury.
Toronto to Sudbury, Ont. 500 kilometers (400 miles)

ABCs!
Career: Engineer
Job: Running around setting up Science Project Presentations and posing for Student Journal photographs. Rumours are, she's the one that debugged Photoshop 8. Get 'er!!!
Location: Waterloo.
Toronto to Waterloo, Ont. 114 kilometres (71 miles)

Mami & TGO (not pictured because the FBI would surely use it against him.)
Careers: Both work as v3ry s3crit scientists! For the FBI. Or was it NASA. No wait, I think it was GP.
Location: Sudbury.
Toronto to Sudbury, Ont. 500 kilometers (400 miles)

Not Pictured...

Matt
Career: Programmer
Job: He works for EA, but I still think his time at Microsoft has left him ripe for brainwashing. It may all be a cover for Ultimate Evil.
Location: Vancouver.
Toronto to Vancouver, B.C. (via Trans Canada Hwy.) 4,550 kilometres (2,844 miles)

Jess
Career: Animator
Job: I have no idea. Jess graduated from VFS while I was running around the world. She continues to slink around the boarders of animation, encouraging others to defile her characters.
Location: Vancouver.
Toronto to Vancouver, B.C. (via Trans Canada Hwy.) 4,550 kilometres (2,844 miles)

Angie
Career: Animator
Job: Still studying in university, trying not to die hurtling down precipices on her longboard when she's late for class.
Location: Miami.
Toronto to Miami, USA. 3218 kilometres (2000 miles)

Scottie-Pie
Career: Film Maker
Job: Besting himself at sneaking the biggest quantity and most elaborate food into the theatre. I believe the score is a cutting board, knife, cheese, bread, and a BOX of wine.
Location: Sudbury.
Toronto to Sudbury, Ont. 500 kilometers (400 miles)

James: Ever had one of those really funny moments you can never re-create?

James: A week or two ago a bunch of the guys and I were rolling on the ground with laughter, whilst imitating 'The World's Worst Orgasm Sound'.

James: I think the funniest was a cross between a strangled cough and a surprised yelp.

James: With a whimper at the end.

Me: HAHAAH!

James: We're a strange bunch...so many running jokes.

"Hey, you like that (beverage/food)?"
"Huh?"
"....I jizzed in it."
So crude and stupid, and horribly funny if you do it with a completely straight face.

Me: Hahah! We have that at the studio. Nobody ever gets a full compliment. It's always the insultliment. "Don't be a horsefucker, of course it's great".

James: So, I've been reading your Diary, and I want to throttle you in your sleep. You're working in a place with a motherfucking games night? You bastard...

Me: MUWahahaahah!

James: Everything about it sounds awesome...I picture it as the place, if I'm really good, I'll go to when I die.

Me: Yeah, but it's hard work too.

Me: We work hard. We play hard. ::Ring steel mill bell::

James: Hard? They could sharpen their pencils in my ass, I wouldn't give a damn.

James: I cut ONIONS for an hour today.

Me: AHAHAHAHAHAHHA I'LL FUCKING TELL THEM THAT!!! Omfg.

Me: … I smell your pain.

James: Now I know what Snape smells like....yeast, onions, and that rancid dishwater aroma.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

OMFG
Tears
Of
joy

James: I'm actually eating half a can of beans, and some bacon for dinner. It'll be the first thing I've eaten today :p

Me: ... Ew. That's disgusting!

James: It's free!

Me: Free beans and bacon...
Um.
The homeless guy probably …
JIZZED IN IT!

James: AHAHahah!

1. The people.

There were, to put it mildly, a lot of them. Sort of like there are a lot of stars in the galaxy, a lot of repetition in Rice’s work, or a lot of homeless people in Pigeon Park… Plus they were teaming, cheering, with children, and frivolously spending money on overpriced beer and team paraphernalia.

2. The stadium.

Was immense. I pictured dinner theatre. I pictured chairs. I did not picture twenty tiers of sloping bleachers positively spilling with shirtless idiots. Which I come to when addressing…

3. Shirtless idiots.
There were men, they were not attractive, tended to be hairy, and gave a good view of all these bulging and sagging characteristics while waving their shirts around in some sort of naked homoerotic gesture to cheer the team on. But fat naked men I can deal with. They are, after all, a staple in our beloved pr0n industry. However, I was very disturbed by the shirtless children… Who seemed to be completely without parents of any kind.

4. The advertisement.
They actually had the players pushing companies. Now, I can see something like the Super Bowl being a big marketing ploy. Even hockey I can understand. But this is LACROSSE. It’s not like anybody knows what it is- why would you sell out your team for the two bucks you’ll get from Fan in Seat #958, who happens to need a new Miata anyway.

5. BEER MUST NOT LEAVE THE PREMISIS! ::Tazer::
What the hell are you going to do with it anyway? I mean, beer into the building: bad. It’s bad for a reason. If you could bring in your own non repulsive liquor, you wouldn’t buy that cheap, piss warm $12 swill that they’re selling. But why not let you take that crap outside? It’s not like you’re going to make that whole trek into the cold just to put bourbon into it. You do that shit in the bathroom! And the likelihood of somebody jizzing in your beer while it’s unattended by the door when you’re outside is much higher than when it’s safely in your hand during the game.

Me: ::Steps out the door:: ::Deadpan:: “What a glorious day.”
Birds fly by, singing
Sun shining merrily
Deer prance around majestically
Me: “Glorious.”
Pause
Recedes back indoors

Once I actually got into work, my ear started aching like crazy, and I felt nauseous and dizzy and all sorts of malarkey. But I grinned and bared it, which is good because I actually got to talk to Jonas about the studio and jobs. I’m definitely staying until May, and he mentioned more permanent living accommodations for me, so I’m hopeful. I left early, though, mostly because he told me to go home, but also because my ear felt like it was going to explode.
But apparently, I don’t have an ear infection.
This is my theory: I’m feeling my computer’s pain.
That’s right, The Beast got worms. Oh, my baby. ::Pet Pets her:: But thanks to Mike and his awesome spy ware removal kit, she’s all clean and humming nicely. I had quite a scare for a second there… But I know how it started! … But if any authorities should read this, I don’t know how it started, and the following story is FICTION.
A couple of days ago I downloaded this screen cap program called “Snag It”, which had a really annoying feature of putting its watermark all over the images I capped because I hadn’t registered. So after attempting to crack the sucker myself, and (most embarrassingly) failing, I went online to find a patch. I found a few by well known crackers, so I downloaded two, but neither worked, saying that the file sizes didn’t match. I think it’s because I had an older version of the program that nobody had bothered to crack. At any rate, I gave up on the whole thing, since it’s not that much of a distracting watermark anyway. This whole experience left me with a bad feeling, not only because I couldn’t fix it myself. But I kept on trucking, and this morning when I woke up, Kazaa had crashed. Or at least, it had an error message that it had to be shut down, though it never really did.
Oh well, I thought. Windows will be Windows, and went to work.
When I got back, after I had slept, I was playing around with a few things in Adobe, when suddenly BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH.
A FATAL error has occurred.
I’m like “Oh poop holy crap shitters my baby, please reboot”, because the last time this happened, The Beast was down for weeks. But it did reboot, and I was relieved. But also ANGRY, angry that Golden Casino was all over my system and it was running like shit. But I was in the middle of image editing, so I was like “I’ll take care of the spy ware later”. I open up Winamp to listen to some tunes while I finish up these images, but it warns me that my sound card has no drivers, and keeps plying through my list, and I’m here hitting the space bar while simultaneously trying to press stop to get this idiot thing to stop going in a loop of error messages. I finally stop it, but this is the last FUCKING STRAW. My soundcard is not to be messed with.
But just as I was waging Class 5 warfare on Gold Casino and all their affiliates, Mike calls and recommends this awesome anti-spy ware program, which fixes everything rather instantly, and subdues me enough that I shall probably not kill LuciD with my bare hands.

Anyway, in hilarious Mike news, he got this new computer at auction (P4g 4g 70g). Now they were going crazy reassuring him that it was an HP, all components are HP and so forth. He buys the thing (a sweet deal, if you ask me, even considering what happens next), takes it home, and has to install all the drivers. The motherboard drivers, are COMPAQ. AHAHAHA! On first boot I think it was an AMD screen? But after he put the right drivers on the thing, he gets that beauty flaming red COMPAQ logo. But that’s not the best part. The excellent thing in this is the peripherals. The mouse and keyboard are all pretty and matching with the black and silver, but Mike noticed there was black electrical tape over the mouse and keyboard in one spot. So he peels it off, and sees that COMPAQ is written on them- not only that, but under the tape, the white letters are drawn over in black sharpie in attempts to mask them. AHAHAAH! WTF! Oh my dear sweet lord it hurts to be this awesome. I’m buying my next system at auction, for the amusing surprises alone!
Ah, but this all lead to the “what do I do with my old system” debate. Now, his old computer is by no means OLD. It’s still a Pentium (P300 I believe?). And his dad wants him to give it away.
BAH! I say. BAH!
You keep your old systems, no matter how obsolete. I still have my 486 network, and I would have had my XT "portable" if it hadn’t overheated and melted because of that VCR battery I was powering it with.

Mike: So you just kept your old PCs in your basement?
Me: I turn them on once and a while, to look at them.
Mike: Just to look?
Me: You know, ogle them. Like you ogle a pin-up. There’s not much else you can do…
Mike: Except masturbate.
Me: Well, I do that too.
Mike: Oooh, those sexy old PSUs. Feel the vibration.

But there was this one guy in particular, who was either very drunk, or very idiotic, or perhaps some unholy combination of the two.
At any rate, he kept coming back to pester and “dance” with me. Now, we’ve heard about my dancing. This guy was WORSE than me. At least I don’t slam into the other dancers, do twirls, and do the “blinking fingers” in complete strangers’ faces… Seriously. This guy had four moves which he repeated in big grandiose gestures that knocked out several patrons.

Idiot Boy’s patented moves:

1. The Cassanova
One hand on the belly, one hand pointing outward a la “walk like an Egyptian”, and strut around to the music. It doesn’t matter if you drift several meters away from your partner, just keep a-strutting. In fact, if you can add some twirls into this move, all the better. Twirling automatically makes it 10x cooler because it injures 10x more people.
2. The Head Pat
Pat your partner’s head. Just, do it. It doesn’t make sense, and only serves to piss them off, but pat their head regardless. Trying to TWIRL them while patting their head is just an added bonus to this truly awesome move.
3. The Blinking Digits
As if you’re signalling 10, 10 with your fingers constantly, do this as close as humanly possible to your partner’s face without hitting them. Actually, hitting them isn’t so bad. Just make sure to flail your arms around in violent poses that look like a Power Ranger on ‘shrooms while doing this. It simply adds to the mystique.
4. The Jowl Jab
Grind your chin into your partner’s shoulder while trying to dance with your knees bent. This is the most sexy move ever. It combines the stealth of a crab, the pain of an embarrassing death by bees, and gives you that special chance to rub your cheap cologne all over your partner’s arm.

Ah, but I think the moral of the story is that I shan’t wear my hair spiky and blue for a while unless I want to have nearly every stranger ask me how it’s done and tell me I’m the ultimate cool. Which I am. But I don’t need to hear it all that often.

March 31st: Highlights for this week- I fixed my computer. For months a problem assailed me, a problem copy/pasting HTML into word. And now I’ve solved it. Stupid corrupted TextConverter files. Damn them! Damn them all to pus-spewing blood-gutted hell!
Before going to anime night, Dorian and I had sushi at this place that was so packed! There was like NO room to move without knocking over somebody’s table. (>_<) Good thing I’m not claustrophobic. Geez. And I maintain that Vancouver sashimi tastes better. Anyway, as always, anime night filled up my laughter quotient for the week. It’s still so weird how much Adam acts, sounds, and jokes around like Scottie. I’m just like… It’s blown away. They’re the same person- Twins separated at birth, I swear.
In totally awesome Odd Job Jack news, Adrian is getting me episode two (the only ep I don’t have) on CD! I just have to keep pestering him, I guess, since it’s been a couple of days since I asked. Luckily I okayed the harassment with him the minute I wanted the CD. Muahahah! (^_^)
Oh yes, the OJJ awesome continues with Dorian’s LEO game! Ehehehe! ::Does the fan girl dance:: It’s going to be great. All of you! YOU! Yes, I see you there, eating your corn chips and browsing my site- WATCH SEASON TWO OR MY MINIONS WILL DESTROY YOU!
AHAHAHAH!

“Well, Diane, I guess I just had a few too many Bloody Mary’s this morning.”

April 2nd: Well, I went into work today. Fiddled around a bit. Drooled all over the place after seeing the new Dementor-ific Harry Potter trailer… And tomorrow I shall breeze through Kensington Market with Dorian and Deni. I saw some of it earlier in the week with Christina and Jer, but we shall have a closer, more purchase-full view this time.
But now to the crux of the issue…

April 8th: Since nothing notable has happened to me, I'm just going to quote at everybody. I've been sick the last week because of DST sieving my brain through it's talons of evil, so all I've done is worked and been hit on by hot Sushi cashiers. UNf.

We can ALL relate to Bobby’s preference

Lync: LoL.... I didn’t see that..... wow, now I really can relate to Bobby....
Me: AHAHAH >_< Because everybody thinks you're gay?
Lync: Ummmm...no.....not everybody..... hee :)
Me: I don't count. I have excellent gaydar.
Lync: Ha.....my dog doesn’t think I'm...oh wait, he did try and hump my leg one day...doh...
Me: Heeeee heheeh. >_< I just thought it was funny in class when everybody was all interested and you wouldn't give a straight answer. No pun intended.
Lync: Lol...I wouldn't give a straight answers? I don't remember that...
Me: Yeah! You were like "What if I were?"
"Are you Interested or something?"
"It wouldn't make a difference."
"I go to clubs for the music.".
For a moment, just a moment, when you said that last one, I thought maybe you were gay

Lync: Maybe it's the version of ICQ you use...could be non compatible with mine?
Me: ::Makes a face at him::
Lync: Wha...that could be it.
Me: Give me that! ::Takes his belt and runs away:: NOW WHO'S OBSOLETE MAUhaah!!!
Lync: Hee.....aw come on, it was just a suggestion?
Me: ::A distance away:: I can't hear you over your OBSOLETE PANTS!

Me: I can send you KazaaLite install.
Lync: Ok.
Me: I hope that's not the virus infested one.
Tell me if you feel itchy or light-headed after this.
Lync: What!?!?!
Me: Hahah I'm just razzing you.
I combed them out before we started.

Me: But WOULD I get fired. That is the question.
Dorian: Nsssh
Me: Underpants Leo would own my current wardrobe.
Dorian: If you say so
Me: Mua MUA MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHH

Me: FUCKING KIDS. STAY AWAY FROM THE HUB OR I'LL TEAR YOUR EYES OUT WITH THIS FORK I GOT FROM MCDONALDS AND IS PROBASBLY DISEASED WITH ECOLI+10000!!!!!!!!
Dorian: Hmm...maybe you shouldn't crash here.
Me: HAHAHH >_< Just because of the temper and the beating?
Dorian: My kids use their eyes.
Me: I'll keep it to the blunt instruments, then. A sack o'oranges. Then, if they're good during the beating, they can have an orange.
Dorian: Because I wouldn't want to interfere with your perfection of irritability as a modern art form-
Dorian: LOL!!!
Me: I'll have to sing a song about anger for it to be an art. Or maybe write some prose.
Would writing angry haiku be an oxymoron?

Me: "I need a proggy to take the encryption off a CD doesn't Linux do that?"
Dorian: Hehehe
Me: Why can't people Google?
That's what I'd like to know.
"Is ther a way to find out..." YES. GOOGLE IT.
Dorian: Seriously
Me: Though the dumbest thing by far was somebody asking if "microsoft.net" was taken as a domain.
Dorian: I guess we'll never know!
Me: There's just no way to find out without contacting Bill Gates himself.
Dorian: What's his msn?
Me: Voldergate.

Me: And how sexy Leo is when he's travelling through a subconscious wormhole.
Dorian: Apparently I'm not going to be distracted by the possibility of sex.
Me: Leo + wormhole doesn’t turn you on?

Lync: That’s for making fun of my wang!
Me: I wasn’t making fun of it. I was including it in the conversation.

And completely out of the blue…

"I can't imagine any other context where you could say 'I promise to check out the wang pic'."

Heath: I should look both ways while crossing the road.
Me: Just estimate.
Heath: … What?

Me: … Right?
Heath: Huh? Oh, sorry. I was thinking of the Russian coins in my purse.

We also saw an amusing store, which was closed, but the sign read: No dogs allowed, parrot loose in store.
Ahaha (>_<)

And now some memorable moments…
“Holy breast implants, Batman.”
“Whenever I see a guy with dyed hair, no matter how cool it looks, I can’t help but picture him in the bathroom like [lisp] oh mercy, did I get it on the towels?”

Heath: You know what?
Me: What?
Heath: Wait. [Sips drink]
Me: What?
Heath: [Nods] [Sips drink]
Me: Waiting only makes it better?
Heath: [Sips drink]
Me: What the hell is it? Do you have something to TELL me?
Heath: [Sips drink]
Me: A dark confession?
Heath: You know what I think about?
Me: Will I ever?
Heath: [Sips drink]

And of course there was the store with masks. One of which was a huge batwing contraption, which I donned. “Do you know my secret identity!”
Heath: [In lacy girl hat] This IS my manwalk. [Struts]

Plus ever ugly, scanty, or ill proportioned thing we designated as what she’d wear to formal… Including the “Saftey-pin masterpieces”.
Heath: What is this? Skirt? Pants? … It’s a wad of cloth? Shape as you will with safety pins.”

And now more random quotes…
Heath: [At a really ugly shirt] They should send this one back. It has a defect.
Me: Oh- OH. It’s a muumuu.
Heath: So this IS a maternity store!

And then there were the sunglasses…

Me: [With bigass sunglasses that are shaped like butterflies] Is it me?
Heath: It looks like somebody punched you in the face.
Me: So it’s me?

Me: Wait, wait. Check these out. [Pulls them out] What… They’re Velcro? [Laughing] Oh my god…
Heath: Put them on.
Me: [Disabled with laughter] Velcro… goggle… glasses…!
Heath: Seriously.
Me: [Dons them]
Heath: [Disabled with laughter]
Me: [Laughing] This is wrong… Yet so right.

April 12th: Ahh, I spent the remainder of the long weekend relaxing- Went to Dorian’s on Saturday for a delicious meal and (not of) children that are tolerable and actually boarder on adorable at times.
After a great night, I proceeded in fainting for the rest of the weekend, which didn’t bother me, since being in a coma really helps sleep through the tyrannical children at my house.
Speaking of which, today I spoke to Sara because early this evening Mari Sol left to go back to Mexico (on an impromptu decision… Remind us of anybody? I’M GOING TO ALASKA!). Anyway, I said my good-byes to her last night, and today asked for her room (I’m compassionate).
At any rate, Sara said she had made this “deal” with her sister in law (wait-wait! Sister IN LAW!? I thought it was her sister!) that I would move in there. I’m like “well, tell her I’m not going to anymore”. But they have BAD BLOOD between them. What the hell? And it gets worse! Sara’s like “And there’s more”.
1. The boy child at the other house is a TERROR. This is coming from SARA! Owner of the biting-screaming-insane child. Oh god. This other boy must be Damien himself.
2. There are no locks on the doors. FUCK! My BABY! ::Hugs computer:: You’re coming to work with me if that’s the case.
3. The doors are made of glass.
Now I’m all for the public nakedness, but being naked in front of little boys does nothing for me, contrary to popular belief.
::Wails:: WHY! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
I tried to convince Sara to let me stay here, but she seems like she doesn’t want to break word to this sister-in-law… So I have to go see the house. Well guess what? I’m not going to. I’m just going to insist on staying here.
THEY CAN’T MAKE ME LEAVE! ::Holds on to window sill:: YOU CAN’T MAKE ME GO! WAHHH!!!!

In more calming news, at work I’ve been moved to layout because there was a shortage of people working on that for episode 10. So I’m basically just throwing all the puppets, props and BGs onto the stage, then sending them off to Ian for posing. I also edited a bunch of BGs that were wrong. The entire thing went so quickly. I hope I didn’t do it completely wrong- That’s the only reason I can think of for why it would go by so fast. I mean, really. I did like 50 layouts in one day. That’s abnormal, that is.
::Falls flat on face:: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I miss my animation. Though I’m highly amused at Bobby’s heartfelt confessions to Jack. “Might be closer than you think… ::Leans in::” CANNON! It’s cannon people.
Bwah.

Oh yes, and watching Inu Yasha 24/7 caught up with me. I dreamed of Inu last night. I don’t really remember much other than running around in the woods real fast wearing ultra comfy pants.

April 13th: FUCK FUCK TITTY FUCK OPRAH'S GIANT RACK!
You know that stupid assed trojan/bot attack that's supposed to happen tomorrow? Well I got it LAST NIGHT! I woke up with SHITE up the ol' PC asseroo. And before you ask, NO I was NOT DLing porn, warez, or cracked Photoshop 8, you mother fucking whore hopping sun's'a'bitches!
I WANT ALL YOUR BALLZ TO DIE!
DO YOU HEAR ME!
ALL YOUR BALLZ TO DIE!
AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
In other soul-crushing news, a bunch of my scenes were passed off to a better animator today. It makes me ache. But I talked to Westman and he says the same thing happened to him during season one- and he’s rehired, so what the hell. I’m feeling a bit better now.
I also got Mike’s portfolio today- Which crushes my soul with the awesome. Why do I have to suck so badly at animating? Wait, that’s not true… Why am I not the absolute god of animation? I really wish I had those powers were you could eat a person’s brain and gain their strength and knowledge.
Then we’ll see who’s laughing.
Well, nobody’s laughing at the moment.
But I would be if I was the King of Knowledge.
QUEEN queen of summertime.

April 14th: Today was pretty cool. I cured The Beast, animated more FX, and my or may not be cleaning up this Nascar comic at work. Hmmm… Interesting stuff.
At any rate, anime night ended up at Dorian’s, and we watched two episodes of this terrible girly anime. I can’t even remember the name. It was just the dumbest thing with obscure humour like…
“Are you psychic?”
“Yes, I am.”
“REALLY?”
“NO I LIED. Ha ha ha.”
Oh yes, you are the living end-
AHHHHHHHHHHH! WTF!
WTF!
A WHEEL JUST POPPED OFF OF MY BED!
Okay, seriously. I may be a nerd, but I’m not all that heavy. What is with this shoddy Portuguese workmanship!? ::Kicks bed:: ::Falls over due to the slant::
::Bashes head::
AHHHHHHHHHHHH! WTF!
I guess I’ll have to sleep on the floor…
Or in my chair at my desk… Sort of like I did at school. That’ll work.
Anyway, speaking of nerdom, on the way back, Dorian assured me that getting to the subway was simple. There was no getting it wrong.
Here, Dorian, is an explanation you’ll understand.

IF entrance = token only
THEN dorian = asshat

ENDIF

I DON’T CARRY TOKENS!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I had to swallow the pride in my heart and ask another living human for directions to a ticket entrance.
And yes, I did wander around the token entrance swearing and kicking things for 30 minutes before that because I don’t NEED DIRECTIONS I know where I am I JUST HAVETO FIGURE IT OUT FIRST STOP PESTERING ME , WOMAN GOD DAMN YOU! WHY DO YOU MAKE ME HIT YOU ALL THE TIME!
And it’s still only sad because anybody can take me in a fight. I swear to god. You- You over there. You twelve year old girl with a broken arm and legs that don’t work. You can beat me up. The end.
And now humorous quotes because it’s mainly what I do at work now:

For some reason, when truncated, this conversation sounds like Dorian is consoling me at being bad at being evil…
Me: It puts a damper on all my fiendish plans.
Perhaps I shouldn't announce them so boldly in front of Walmart.
Dorian: Yes, a fiendish plan is a quiet plan, I always say
Dorian: Well, I don't know what I can say to ease your pain, bud
Me: I have so much trouble not blurting these things out.
Dorian: Except that, you haven't been at it that long.
Me: I get so excited about the evil I just have to yell about it.

“I picked MC FroYo because all the good names were taken.”
Dorian: "go Viger go"
Dorian: ...
Dorian: ...um
Dorian: "write some 'mo"
Dorian: mo and go rhyme, you see
Me: :: Eyebrow raise:: ¬__¬` wha?
Me: MC FroYo, your beats make my ears bleed.

True: The subway system looks like escaped from the 70’s and has invaded contemporary life. Particularly Summerhill station.
True: It is INCREDIBLY retarded that trams can’t pull over and make you risk your life every time you attempt to enter or exit them.
True: People here are assholes. That’s why I fit in so well.
False: Toronto is a simple grid of roads that all parallel one another. (DUFFERIN DOESN’T INTERSECT QUEEN YOU ASSFACES! And a bunch of other roads suddenly end as well.)
False: The transit system is awesome. (What the hell is with not being able to use bus transfers once you’ve traversed the subway in an opposing tram!? We did that once and the driver was just like “don’t do it again”, without explaining what we were doing wrong. WAY TO BE CLEAR DICKWAD!)

1. Yelling in synchrony. “OH YES!” … Wait, was that my line or yours?
2. Bad audio. WTF did he just say? Shellfish? Glass dish? Is he trying to seduce her?
3. The AWESOME plot. Apparently, this was the coolest plot in porno ever. … Business man has lots of chicks. Uses his friend’s house for orgies. Friend screws big head boss lady. Big head boss lady fires main dude. The end. Wow. RIVITING.
4. Spitting. They spit on each other. A lot. Why? Unknown. Possibly for DRAMATIC effect to emphasize the INTRICATE plot.
5. Which girl is that? ALL the girls look the same. In fact, they may all be the same actress. I wouldn’t be surprised. They all have the same fake orgasm sound. ::Deadpan:: Oh yes. Yes. You’re so… Good?

The “Naked Leo Game”.
Me: Depends on how good the art is.
Me: And none of that cop-out "blurred genitals" stuff
Dorian: yea, I mean what is this, Japan?
Dorian: we'll just have copious quantities of concealing pubic bush
Me: Oh gosh
Me: Bad mental image
Me: Leo would either have to be very small…
Me: … Or VERY bushy
Me: Either way
Me: ... ohmy
Dorian: uh oh
Dorian: spoiling Viger's fantasies
Me: Hey, I'm not saying he's massively endowed here
Dorian: don't worry. I'll insist on sizeable and well groomed
Me: He did ask for PnL+ samples
Me: LOL
Me: Well groomed! NO!
Me: He's gotto be a bit ripe
Dorian: waxed handlebars
Me: :: Puts Coke firmly down:: AHAHAHA!
Dorian: or maybe the "dorito chip"
Me: AHAHAH
Me: OH GOSH
Me: OMGH
Me: HAHAH
Me: The racing stripe
Dorian: lol
Dorian: centred or off-centre?
Me: Off centre? Who does the off centre racing stripe purposefully???
Dorian: well...on cars
Me: Having an off centre line of pubes anywhere is never good.
Dorian: hehe
Dorian: the barber was cockeyed
Me: Gosh our conversations are high brau.
Dorian: powerful intellects at work

The Gayest Shiv Award Goes to…
Dorian: I'm too pretty to go to jail
Me: True. But I'm sure you could hold your own.
Me: Or - make some scratch by selling your own.
Dorian: lol
Dorian: I swing a mean shiv
Me: What's a shiv?
Me: Is that the thing you construct by whittling a toothbrush…
Dorian: an improvised knife
Me: …into a knife
Dorian: yes
Me: AHAHAH
Me: I had to pick the gayest example too
Dorian: Well, naturally
Me: Well, technically that would be whittling an ass dildo into a shiv

And pertaining to Adam’s very public sex toys…
Dorian: hey, they're not kidding about the Cthulu stuffie as a sex toy - there's pictures!
Dorian: and that's just sitting around
Me: Oh gosh.
Me: I feel dirty.
Dorian: "can I feel?"
Me: AHAHAH!
Me: Sweet deal. Maybe if you warn me ahead of time.
Me: The next time somebody has sex toys in the den.
Me: So as I can avoid them.
Me: I've sat on that couch.
Me: Near those plushies.
Dorian: I'll try to anticipate.
Me: Now I shall forever sit on that corner of the floor.
Me: Unless I should know something about that too.
Dorian: What, the "pissing corner"? Naw.
Me: AHHHHH! FUCKER!

Last night I was awoken at 3am suddenly by VIOLENT stomach pain, so I ran to the bathroom and threw up for a while. I was sort of expecting it, seeing as my stomach hasn’t acted up in a while, so it was due. I reset my alarm when I got back to bed so I could sleep in and recover, but at 7am, this dog starts BARKING. Barking and barking CONSTANTLY. Just yipping and yipping… And he’s RIGHT NEXT TO MY WINDOW. I guess they just got this fucking dog, but it’s a Doberman and I’m not going to go over there and take care of it myself… But I will call the SPCA, because this fucker barked until I left… In fact, he may still be barking. Why don’t dogs ever go hoarse? Honestly, they should genetically engineer singers with dog voice boxes.
Fuckers.
In other news, today I did about 20% of seven layouts... And couldn’t complete any of them due to missing resources. In the morning, I did nothing, because there were NO resources. But strangely enough, I still got paid, though Jonas mentioned that he was getting ripped off- which honestly, he is. They should just let me draw the show! C’mon! I swear I won’t put too much gay banter.
…
Okay, I won’t put EXCESSIVE gay banter…
Fine, I won’t draw Leo and Bobby attached at the ass. But that’s my final offer.

May 5th: Ahh! The work flows again. I worked all day without pause... Mainly because Dorian wasn‘t there and Jer was ignoring me due to not accepting naked pictures of him. Buwahahahah! (>_<) I got to work pretty late, and didn’t go to lunch, so when I left for anime night I was ravenous. Oh yes! Dorian did indeed show up at anime night, he was absent from work caring for Deni, who had bashed her head due to fainting, but she was feeling loads better, and insisted that he go out on the town. Dorian and I met up and went to this pub where everything was very ornate and disorienting. The waitress was really curt too. She would practically cut you off by saying “yup” to your order… Plus she dropped a fork on me... And fries with a burger/salad with a sandwich were separate items?? Wtf. NO TIP! Afterwards we went to the supermarket so I could get money to pay Adam for Anime North, and also to pick up treats for the anime dudes. While in the store we spotted these balloons that had endearing sentiments on them, so we bought one to “cheer somebody up” for Adam (which is particularly amusing if you know or have seen Adam). The problem with this is that we had to carry it all the way to Adam’s place. I shelled this off on Dorian, which looked even more disturbing than me carrying it. But at least it stopped me from bonking people with it- which I would have, even without the bet money.
Anyway, we arrived in one piece (announcing into the buzzer that we were here for our “weekly psychic reading” since there were other people in the front hall) and watched the last half of Battle Royal, which rocked.
Everybody takes about twenty rounds to die, people are wacky, and the gym teacher dude has the best death EVER.
He threatens the kids with a gun.
They shoot him.
It turns out his gun was a water pistol.
He falls to the floor “dead”.
Silence. They all heave a sigh of relief.
Gym teacher’s ‘phone rings.
He revives, and gets up and answers it.
Argues with his wife a bit.
Then shoots the ‘phone with the real gun he’s had all along.
He eats a cookie.
He muses that it’s his last cookie.
THEN he dies.
Dear god. Shortly after we watched Otaku No Video, jokes about … Well, pretty much everything anime-geeky ensued, in addition to the standard German jokes. (>_<) Whargh.
In the end, I remember laughing to the point of hurting myself, but for the life of me I can’t recall what the best bits were- which says something about how much cartoons rot your brain because I was stone cold sober. Gah!

May 6th: Today I was initiated into the layout department... That’s right, I attended a meeting about the pre-production pipeline, and had little to add.
AND THAT IS ALL!
Wait- I actually remembered another cool thing that happened today. I met up with Dorian and Jonas on the tram to work.
Okay so it wasn’t so much “cool”, but weird…
Er.
I have nothing more entertaining to impart… Okay, one saying to go out on:
Don’t ever put aftershave on your balls.
No matter how alluring the idea may be.

May 7th: The studio said goodbye to Luke today- and the going away party was a hoot. There were fireworks involved… Drunken and otherwise inebriated fireworks. The moment we started lighting up the more loud ones, Adrian runs downstairs to lock the front door so the cops don’t come- hee hee. Well, we got through the night without any police raids, which is better than a lot of the parties I’ve been to. I basically spent the night hanging around, listening to various people jam, and playing Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball. I’m telling you, I do NOT have a way with the ladies. For those of you that don’t know, DoA Beach Volleyball is, obviously, a volleyball game, but with hot chicks. You play one of the hot chicks, and you must seduce other hot chicks to play volleyball with you by buying them gifts and wooing them. I bought them bread! What more do they want damn it!?
During the day, I experienced the opposite of what I’ve been doing for the past few weeks… Jonas and Christina actually asked me to come in on the weekend to do MORE work so that the scene would be done for the animators on Monday. Man, did I work my ass off pre-party. Sheeee-yaaaat… But I got it done, without much event. Unfortunately there were a bunch of resources unapproved for this monster scene I was supposed to finish- I did as much as I could, but since we’ve been instructed (at that Very Official Meeting) not to go around the database, I couldn’t start a lot of them… Ah well, we’ll see Monday WTF is going on.

May 8th: Woke up today and slouched about before going in to work and getting a few more layouts out of the way. Unsurprisingly, the whole "Sunday Deadline" for Sc1 isn't really happening since several of the shots are still missing resources. But on the plus side, I finished a piece of animation so Luke could critique it and tell me why the directors think I suck. Apparently, it's because everybody but me is crazy. Seriously, though- he says I'm not half bad. So, generally, this leaves me saying, thanks, and WTF.
I was super tired though and rather partied out, so instead of taking hits off the vapourizor, I went home and tried to sleep like the schmuk I am. When that didn't work out, I watched Futurama, then ended up at Luke's second house party, which went on until the wee hours.

May 9th: ::Dies:: Got up at nine-ish, got home at one, went to bed, got up at five, and WENT INTO WORK. DUn dun duuuuuuun. There was very little to do; I watched the rough cut for nine, and noticed that many of my scenes were reanimated. ::Eyetwitch:: Okay, SOMEBODY in this equation is crazy, and despite this stylish ribcage I'm wearing as a hat, I'm fairly certain it's not me. In other twitch-inducing news, my room has, once again been sold out from under me. Will reap vengeance by setting up mousetraps everywhere so the new girl is aware of the infestation... May also add scent of vomit and mould to spice up the deal- because, people, if she doesn't move in, I get to keep the room.
SUCKAHS!
Now, a final note... I need somebody to tell me the best way to smack a dog over the head with a spade and kill it.

May 11th: For the first time since I've been here, I was the ONLY person here for games night- which was really not so much gaming as me working. Burrrrn outttt... That is all.

May 12th: Holy Christ on a cross- Yesterday everybody at the studio heard that Jer had been in a car accident, but the details were sparse, today we learn that he fell asleep at the wheel, and ploughed into a tractor trailer. This is the result... But that's not the surprising part- He walked away alive and barely scathed, as did his PASSENGER. I know Jer is a tiny guy, but HOLY CRAP, how he managed to not get his head lobbed off is beyond me- Beyond him too.
He doesn't remember anything, only that he was driving, then he woke up in jail, yelled for some smokes, and fell right back asleep. Who the HELL sends an unconscious bleeding man to jail?! Jeez. I suppose they thought he was drunk at the wheel, but he swears he didn't have a drop in him. In fact, he now insists that drinking DOES make him a better driver, and this is conclusive proof that if he had been drunk he would have never crashed so spectacularly. Hm. Fuzzy logic, man. Fuzzy.
But he's a soldier, and is already clamoring to return to work. Luckily Christina won't let him, so he's forced to recuperate.
In less shocking news, Anime night went really well. I met up with Deni beforehand, Dorian took the kids, and Deni and I went for dinner before settling at Adam's and watching the latter half of Otaku No Video, then a few more episodes of Kare Kano. I nearly broke a rib laughing at the theme- you know that little ditty that loops during the menu? Yeah, that's the one. For whatever high reason, I found it profoundly hilarious, and proceeded in busting a gut when Adam suggested it be played at his funeral.
"It was his last wish!"
Do loo, do loo!
Oh yes, and those lime-pepper chips? THEY taste like evil. I don't care what Ran says, there has never been a more ill-advised snackfood.
I forget if I mentioned this, but I've secured my living quarters until September. YAY! I'm attempting to convince the land lady to continue living in the basement. Apparently the girl who's moving in can't afford upstairs rent, but dude, I'll PAY that, no argument, to stay in the basement. First of all it's bigger, cooler (heat wise, it IS summer after all), I have an exit, and my own kitchen. I love it! Screw the dank, and the low ceilings, and the mice. I'm staying, whores! WOABHAHAHAH! Oh yes, I predicted awesome with this new tenant. She's Japanese, and speaks NO English. I'm expecting only good from this situation.

May 13th: Today was a fairly unspectacular day, though I did get kudos from Jonas saying I was his layout savior- (^_^) Yay! High fives all 'round. I was really tempted to stay and continue being a model employee (hee hee), but Dorian convinced me to go boot shopping. We ran around town looking for his elaborate specifications for boots. Uahhhh. (o___0) After finding them we checked out this piercing parlor which does tongue studs for 60$, jewelr